Kidd Kraddick Remix

The demise of Big Al

July 17, 2008 at 5:11 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

KIDD KRADDICK IMPERSONATION

Kidd praying to the Lord for Not-Derek in Kellie’s voice

FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW

If you come into work with glow sticks, I’m going to hit you – Kellie commenting on the techno playing at Big Al’s potential new apartment building

KIDD KRADDICK PREDICTION

“You’re gonna be wearing gel and you’re bald” – Kidd’s assessment of Al’s life in Ecstasy Villas aka Al’s new hip and trendy apartment

MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT ON THE SHOW

Kidd forcing Kellie to ask Jon aka Secondhand Serenade who discovered him and John aka SHS responding with, “my fans … my manager … Daniel Glass” – yeah, basically everyone BUT Kidd Kraddick

DARK SIDE KELLIE

“When Kidd fires you and you decide to commit suicide, this would be a pretty place to die” – the nicest thing Kellie found to say about Al’s potential apartment

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie had a taste of what it might be like to be Mrs. Al Mack

J Si is kind of sad that Andrew shaved his Columbine beard

Shanon was cussed out in Happy Birthday texts

Al considers Kellie to be his bouncer

Kidd

6:08 THE MOMENT WHERE WE LOST SHANON FOR THE SHOW

Kidd tried to talk about the Good Charlotte give away, but when he went to play the hook from the Good Charlotte song, Shanon accidentally played the theme from the “Good, Bad and Ugly” – well Kidd teased her about it but it was a little early for Shanon -then when she didn’t have the Freddy hook available (because she hadn’t turned on her mind reading powers yet), he started in on her again

6:12 THE MOMENT WHERE SHANON SAID SHE WAS BACK

Shanon said she was going to let it go, but i don’t know …

TIP FOR LISTENERS

If you are on the show, you have a responsibility to the show to give us the reaction we are looking for – if you’re sitting at home listening at your house, feel free to sit at home stone-faced with no reaction – but if you’re on the show, you better bring it!!

ANTICLIMACTIC MOMENT OF THE DAY

Al calls Kellie his “bouncer” because she’s the person he bounces ideas off of – um, okay …

MOST ANNOYING MOMENT OF THE SHOW

Kidd playing the audio of Senator Ted Stevens describing the Internets being a series of tubes … over and over and over again – DEAR GOD – MAKE IT STOP!!!!

HIZZLE

Sarah Jessica Parker had her mole removed

Eva Longoria has cut her hair and gained a little weight for her role on Desperate Housewives

Katherine Heigl will be back on Grey’s Anatomy on next season

Al has decided to leave Suburbia and head for the hip and trendy part of town that is more in line with his partying bachelor lifestyle – so he asked his bouncer, Kellie, to help him check out hip and trendy apartments – does anyone see where this is going??  The first place they checked out was definitely hip and trendy – shiny concrete floors with lots of exposed walls and ceilings – very dark with techno music playing in the lobby and hallways 24/7 – kind of like living in a club – this place is so cool that you have to pay to valet when you’re coming to VISIT – I wonder how many people really like Al enough to pay to come visit him … anyway, the cool apartment is on the 19^th floor and even though the place is hella cool, Kellie couldn’t find anything redeeming about the place

NEGATIVE THINGS KELLIE POINTED OUT

Al (the man who loves bubble baths) doesn’t fit in the bathtub – his knees were up to his chin

It’s on the 19^th floor – and Al has 2 dogs

The closest place to walk Stretch and Queso is 2 blocks away – can you really see Big Al getting up at 3 am to take his dogs out 2 blocks away when it’s 30 degrees outside

The building is full of strippers (though this may not be a negative for Big Al)

AL’S POTENTIAL NEW NEIGHBORS

A 32 year old night club owner who drives a Lamborghini and a smoking hot night dancer who sleeps until 5pm and wakes up offering shots of rum … AT 5 PM!!!!   her name is Becky but her night dancing name is MIAMI

Kellie’s final thought on the building – “It’s a very sex building – if you want to live in a sex building you go right ahead, but don’t invite me to any pool parties, because I’m not coming”

Kellie says it’s career suicide if he moves into this place and predicts that Kidd will fire him and Big Al will commit suicide – I’m gonna agree with Kellie (big surprise) and say that Al would be better off moving into option 2 – surrounded by beautiful parks, people with real 9 to 5 jobs and 10 minutes from Al’s 2^nd home, Primo’s

TODAY IS THE 53^RD ANNIVERSARY OF DISNEYLAND

And somehow, by the magic of radio, we were able to get the manager of 1955 Disneyland on the phone – imagine that!!  So here’s what we learned about 1955 Disneyland

• The 1^st attraction was a big bag of jello that the kids climbed in
• A major attraction was the Brick Hit – one lucky park visitor would get hit in the head with a brick – but it was a surprise
• The Office Supply Show had to be shut down when someone stole a pen
• They had the original Rockin Roller Coaster – there was a secret box that you reached in and pulled out either a rock, a roll or a coaster
• And finally, the Pinnochio nose game – two people put broomsticks on their noses and try to poke each other’s eyes out

Yeah, I’m just gonna go ahead and hold Big Al responsible for this failed bit – and why do I know it was a failure?  Cause the Chat Room said so …

Megg said, “Is this bit almost over? Please somebody turn off old Disney guy’s mic”

Ross said, “Dianthe… end this bit!”

Oh Ross, if only I had that kind of power

In case you missed it yesterday, we let J Si tell his joke again – and in case you missed it yesterday, I’ll post it again today – and of course, the Chat Room had a couple of things to say about J Si

Megg:  J Si is like Peter Pan, the boy who won’t grow up

Ross:  J Si is like the little kid that always has a new joke and wants to share it with the world for 5 days straight.

Kellie is remodeling and if you’ve ever remodeled, you know what a PITA it is – so Kelley had to clear out all of her living room furniture and was going to donate her couches to charity – well the charity couldn’t come pick them up before she went on vacation, so she moved them into the garage until she got back – for some reason, the construction guys moved the couches onto the porch while they were working – and while they were on the porch, 2 guys showed up with a truck and said they were there to pick up the couches – the construction workers didn’t know any better, so they let the guys take them – when Kellie got home and realized there was no receipt for the donation – she called the charity to ask about the receipt, they told her they hadn’t picked up the couches – Kellie was robbed!!!  Except I don’t know if you can truly classify that as being robbed – but Kellie still felt violated and she doesn’t get the tax write off for her couches

GOOD CHARLOTTE GIVEAWAY

Good Charlotte is coming to the House of Blues next Friday and Freddy is opening for them – and we’re giving away an awesome trip for someone to fly into town to see the show and get BSA – Back Stage Access!!!  But you had to win the Paris or Nicole game for first …

PARIS OR NICOLE

She is BFF’s with Kim Kardashian

She was adopted

Michael Jackson is her godfather

She starred in House of Wax

She was engaged to Adam Goldstein

She has a perfume line called “Just Me”

She was arrested for possession of heroin in 2003

ANSWERS

Paris

Nicole

Nicole

Paris

Nicole

Paris

Nicole

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Andy Dick was arrested for alleged drug use and sexual assault of a 17 year old girl

#4 – Maxim has named Sarah Jessica Parker their “unexpected crush” after naming her the”Unsexiest Woman Alive” last year

#3 – Bret Michaels and Ambre Lake have broken up

#2 – Miley Cyrus says she’s saving herself for marriage and wears a purity ring

#1 – Katherine Heigl will be back for the next season of Grey’s Anatomy

OOGEY PEDOPHILE STORY

A 33 year old man set up a date with a 14 year old girl on the internet and she alerted the authorities – they set up a meeting and when he came out to meet herm he was wearing a t-shirt that says “WORLD’S GREATEST DAD” – that is wrong on so many different levels …

NEW MUSIC TUESDAY

Nas – Nas

O.A.R. – All Sides

David Banner – The Greatest Story Ever Told

John Mellencamp – Life, Death, Love and Freedom

Randy Travis – Around the Bend

BEHIND THE MIC

J Si not only had no idea who Anne Geddes is, he also couldn’t prounce her name … Giddys, Gettis – yeah, try again!  He did manage to say Wihicta correctly – because for the last 2 years, he’s been saying “Wichituh” – And for the first time that I can remember – Kellie made an appearance on Behind the Mic – in Kellie’s defense, the phrase “Free Family Festival” can be tough to get out!

Usually when we hear laughter erupt out in the hallway it’s a good thing – but when the laughter erupts and the people that are laughing aren’t listening to the show – well … no one on the show said anything funny which meant they weren’t listening to the show – so Kidd sent Shanon to find out what was so funny – we just knew it was going to be something hilarious but when Shanon came back with “Gailya wanted a piece of cake and we gave her a little piece but she wanted a big piece” Kidd wasn’t impressed – but because I’m the behind the scenes chick, I went to go get the real story – and it actually was funny!  Gailya (who is part of the office staff) was going to be gone when we had Shanon’s birthday cake – so she asked them to save her a big piece of cake – well this is what was given to her when she returned …

Now see, THAT’S funny!

hi, i’m Big Drunk Al …

July 15, 2008 at 4:33 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

AL’S RANDOM COMMENT OF THE DAY

Can I buy you a stain?

BIG AL’S POINTLESS STORY OF THE DAY

Al spent $300 of his $500 spending money on a jacket in New York when he stopped in New York on his way to Miami

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Someone stole all of Kellie’s furniture

J Si finally got an email from Kinsey

Shanon says the fatter she gets, the harder it is for her to work out

Al was reminded last night why car insurance for 16 year olds is so high

Kidd gave BGJ a 30 second tour of New York while standing in Times Square

SECONDHAND SERENADE

We’re doing a contest to meet Secondhand Serenade and have John sing “Fall For You” to you on stage with your man (or woman) – all you have to do is email us and tell you how this song has touched you – somehow, this led into a weird conversation about men and women and relationships and here’s what I took away from it –

All men are liars and all women are crazy AND All men are dogs and all women are psycho

It’ll be interesting to see what kind of letters we get about this because isn’t there always one song that perfectly describes your life or your relationship??

HIZZLE

Madonna is going to cheer A Rod on at the All Star game

Khloe Kardashian has to serve 3 days in jail for a DUI

Paris Hilton is trying to have a baby

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have broken up

THE WEDDING MACHINATIONS OF BIG DRUNK AL

aka How to Get A Bit for the Show while I’m Drunk on Vacation

Big Al was going to hit on a hot chick named Jocelyn who was sitting at his “Two Gay Guys In A Bucket” bar – until he found out she had a boyfriend named Michael who was large enough to pound Big Al into the ground – so when Michael came along, Al told him he should marry Jocelyn – and Michael agreed – and said that if Al got him a minister, he’d marry her on the spot – but instead of finding a minister, Al decided to get himself ordained online and marry them – so in the next 24 hours, Big Al managed to put together a wedding – Michael bought a ring and Big Al got ordained as a minister, had someone decorate the bar and hired a mariachi band – and obviously he had a couple of drinks – because otherwise, why would he use the words “a**” and “damn” twice during the ceremony – and then write the following vows :

I Micheal, will love you and make you my wife

As long as you stay hot and don’t stab with me with a butcher knife

I know you’re not black and I know you’re not white

I may hate myself in the morning but I’m a love you tonight

I promise to love you forever and promise I’ll never ever leave

and I will never ever cheat on you even with my podner Redneck Steve

:::shaking head::: I’m sure this is the exact wedding ceremony that Jocelyn’s mother always dreamed of

What is scarier than getting a phone call at 1 am in the morning?  Getting a phone call at 1am when your 16 year old son just got his driver’s license – Payton’s mom called Al from the emergency room because Payton was in a car accident – Payton was driving home from his girlfriend’s house and got distracted – he was going 50 in a 55 and hit a telephone pole – the police came and the ambulance took him to the hospital – he’s okay, but initially they thought he had a concussion – turns out he just hit his head really hard and he has a big bruise on his leg – it was a pretty bad accident – the airbags deployed and because the car flipped on its side, the car is totaled – but Payton is okay and that’s what is most important!!!

BRITISH GUY JACK’S BRITISH GUY CHALLENGE

Before Kidd sent BGJ out for the British Guy Challenge, Kidd took BGJ out at Penn Plaza/Station (pretending to be an expert on New York) and gave him a quick tour of New York – but it wasn’t a real tour since they just stood in Penn Plaza and Kidd pointed out a few New York “highlights” – like Penn Station (which is called Penn Station because that’s where the pens used to be manufactured … or not), the Statue of Liberty which was given to the United States by Poland (or France), the best pizza place in New York, Pizza Hut and Sbarro and the best place for a sandwich … Subway – yep, Kidd knows New York

So, the challenge – BGJ had 30 minutes to find another  British person – the kicker is, every time he asks someone if they’re British, he loses a minute from his time – and the only follow up question he’s allowed to ask is “do you know where I can find a British person?” – now, maybe it’s just me, but wouldn’t you ask the person a different question – like if they have the time – because can’t you tell British people by their accents?  Or, like Kellie and Al said, he could’ve just looked at their shoes – because apparently all Europeans wear crazy looking shoes – see, you learn something new every day – if you want to know how this thing plays out – listen tomorrow for the continuation – because BGJ just might stand for British Gigolo Jack …

While we were waiting on Jason Mraz (who apparently got delayed because of the big All Star Parade), we talked to Mike Easterland, the head of Roadrunner records – back in the day before Kidd was a big time nationally syndicated radio dude and Mike was a bit time record label guy, Kidd and Mike worked together – Kidd used to pay Mike a whopping $6 an hour to run his board – then Mike got the opportunity to basically fetch coffee for a record label – so he quit – but he picked the inopportune time to tell Kidd about 5 minutes after Kidd had just found out that his agent had been stealing all of his money – not just some of his money – but all of his money – so much that he had to go to the bank to get a loan to pay his house note – funny how things work out …

The All Star Parade caused someone to bring up last night’s Homerun Derby – the guy that should have won was Josh Hamilton – and maybe he would’ve won if he hadn’t been so tire from hitting 28 homeruns in the first round!  Anyway, Josh has a really cool story and if you get a few minutes, you should check it out – it’s very inspiring and proof that it’s never too late

KELLIE AND NOT-DEREK UPDATE

Kellie helped Not-Derek get a new job at her favorite restaurant and now she’s worried about what will happen if their relationship goes downhill – y’all know how Kelley is about her food – Al suggested that Kellie have Not-Derek fired – after all, Kellie is pretty powerful – she managed to get rid of Rich … KIDDING!!!

JASON MRAZ

Random facts about Jason

Jason is a vegan and grocery shops while he’s on the road because he doesn’t eat at restaurants

His parents frequently join him on the road

Jason is a fan of the clap track

Jason performed “I’m Yours” and I was so glad because I LOVE that song – and the jingle he did for the show is my favorite!!   He also performed “Wordplay” but he forgot the words to his favorite part of the song – why?  I think it was because Kidd freaked him out by requesting the song – so I’m not going to let Jason take the blame – I’m putting it on Kidd!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – New York Reality TV School will teach you how to get on a reality show for $139

#4 – Justin Timberlake’s grandma wants him to marry Jessica Biel

#3 – Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have broken up

#2 – Audrina Patridge says she didn’t get into a fight with L.C. and the cops were not called to their apartment

#1 – Madonna is loving the publicity surrounding the A Rod rumors

we’re baaaaaccckkk

July 14, 2008 at 5:00 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

MOST RANDOM THING HEARD ON TODAY’S SHOW

“Once you go British Jack, you never go back” – J Si to Kidd about BGJ being in New York with Kidd

FUNNIEST THING HEARD ON THE SHOW TODAY

Andrew being referred to as the Unibomber and Columbine – if you could see this “beard” (and I use that word lightly), you’d know exactly what I mean

KELLIE’S SOUTHERN MOMENT OF THE DAY

Kellie’s grandmother, Mother Price, used to make ‘loaf” – loaf is when you take everything leftover from the refrigerator, throw it in a loaf pan and bake it at 350 degrees for an hour – ta da – LOAF!!!

UN-HIP REFERENCE FROM BIG AL

Hit me on the hip – Big Al’s reference to the beeper days

PROOF OF KELLIE’S CRUSH ON J SI

“Your jokes are always cute J Si, cause you’re cute” – Kellie

MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT ON THE SHOW

“Will you be my daddy?” – Shanon to Kidd – I don’t know about you – but I think I need a shower

KELLIE’S WRONG DANCE

It was the First Big Apple Edition of the Kellie’s Wrong Dance because Kellie thought it was BGJ’s first trip to New York but as it turns out, he actually visited New York when he was 5

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie went to the beach and there is absolutely no evidence except the 3 pound weight gain from the all-you-can-eat buffet

J Si came back from LA with a brand new joke

Shanon gets left behind every single time she goes out with her so-called friends

Al is tired of not getting any call backs from his boat invitations – maybe because it’s not his boat!!

Kidd is in New York – and everyone else is here

HIZZLE

Celebrity Baby News – Nicole Kidman had a daughter named Sunday Rose Kidman Urban, Matthew McConaughey’s girlfriend had a son named Levi and Angelina Jolie had a boy and girl twins, Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony need a new nanny

More risqué pictures of Miley Cyrus

Lyndsey Lohan’s alleged half-sister does not want to meet her alleged daddy

BIG AL’S WEEKEND/VACATION RAP UP

Al was in Playa tending to the “Two Gay Guys In A Bucket” bar and there were several people celebrating their birthdays – apparently Al feels the need to do something “special” for everyone who is celebrating  their birthday – so a girl (a hot one) tells Al it’s her birthday – Al gfelt bad because he didn’t do anything for her birthday – so he runs off to Walmart to pick up “party supplies” so that he can throw an impromptu birthday party for the (hot!) former Dallas Cowboy cheerleader who is celebrating her 26^th birthday – Al comes back hats, balloons, streamers AND a cake – all of this to hit on the hot chick – except he found out it wasn’t really her birthday – so he went through all that and then didn’t even get to french her – and don’t you think that was his motive?  Lorie from the Chat Room did – “If Al didn’t think Melissa was hot would he have bothered going to Walmart?” – um, NO!!!  but he did smash cake in her face – happy birthday!!

KIDD WRITES A BLOG

Yup – a real live blog – now granted, it’s only like the 4^th or 5^th one but this year – but it’s a blog from Kidd and it’s a good one – and if you want to hear all about his Father/Daughter trip to Taste of Chicago with Caroline – check it out here – and after you read it, you’ll understand this comment by Chat Room Ross, “I still think he should have busted out with his “K-Lob” hands to scare off the gang violence that commenced at the Food Festival.”

KELLIE’S VACATION

Kellie went home to South Carolina for vacation and the majority of her vacation consisted of food – why?  Because as Kellie has told us on several occasions, in the Rasberry family – food = love!

Kidd requested a rundown of Kellie’s menu, I mean trip and this was what we got:

Day One – Kellie and Emma Kelly got into Myrtle Beach late Saturday night, so Kellie’s mom cleaned out the frig and they had leftover night – that consisted of Kellie’s mama’s mac and cheese and fish

Sunday – Best Mexican restaurant in Myrtle Beach – El Cerro – which is next to the 2^nd busiest Walmart in the country – Kellie had the enchilada platter which had a cheese enchilada and a chicken enchilada with Sour Cream

Sunday night – she thinks more leftovers

Monday – it rained all day so Mama and Daddy made Kellie rutabagas (which Kellie LOVES), chicken cutlets and fried okra (and leftover mac and cheese)

Tuesday – Red Bone Alley in Florence- Kellie’s standard is cheese and grits but Tommie Jean (Kellie’s BFF from high school)  introduced her to their Pizza Dip – they also went to visit Kellie’s Aunt Velma – Aunt Velma made Chicken Bog (which according to Google is a real southern delight with a colorful history) – Aunt Velma made  one w/ sausage and one without and homemade biscuits and collard greens – fyi, rumor has it that a yankee soldier liked Chicken Bog so much that he switched uniforms – Kidd’s comment after this about loving slaves was THE funniest thing from today’s show – you have to go and listen to it on the kPod to get the full effect!!  And now back to the menu – they finished off the night with Blue Bunny Bunny tracks ice cream which is chocolate-covered peanuts, peanut butter-filled chocolate bunnies, a thick chocolate fudge ribbon and a peanut butter caramel ribbon – sounds good to me!!

Wednesday – China Buffet!!  They had a 10% off coupon to the new China Buffet for the early bird specials with the old people but it wasn’t as good as the old China Buffet – they also had peanut butter cup ice cream – and Kellie got sick off boiled peanuts (you have to hear Kellie say boiled in her southern accent!)

Thursday – Prosser’s BBQ in Murrell’s Inlet where Kellie had tomato sandwiches with mayonnaise

Dang – I’m full just thinking about all that food!

Does Kanye West strike you as an angry man??  Well someone does – because why else would Kanye feel the need to defend himself against rumors that he is taking anger management classes – just for the record, Kanye says he does NOT need anger management help  –  if anything, he needs anger enhancement – at least that’s what he says – and to get confirmation, we called Estelle – Estelle is a huge British artist that none of us (except Kidd and British Guy Jack) had heard of – but she has a song called “American Boy” with Kanye and it’s pretty great – it’s so good that I’m going to download it off iTunes – :::singing “it’s all about me”::: anyway, Estelle confirmed that Kanye does not have an anger problem and didn’t throw anything at her except lyrics – and just for grins – BGJ sang along to her song – I don’t have audio of that, but I do have her video with Kanye

J Si went paparazzi hunting thinking that would be the best way to see celebrities – so hanging out at LAX, he sees a celebrity come walking in – tank top up to her boobs showing off her botched plastic surgery belly – she was super drunk, slurring words and had makeup running down her face – she tried to talk to a couple of different people, but everyone was pretty much ignoring her – finally some guy grabs her and pulls her out  on the dance floor – there were a bunch of guys break dancing on the dance floor and when she was trying to imitate them, she fell flat on her drunk a** – wanna know who it is …

KIDD AND BGJ – TWO WILD MEN IN NEW YORK

Ok – so maybe that’s a slight exaggeration – but Kidd did promise BGJ and the British Guy Challenge tomorrow – live from New York – it’s sure to be funny considering BGJ thinks he’s “ghetto” – but since he pronounces it “GE-HET-TO” his friends tend to differ – yeah it’s a little hard to call a guy “ghetto’ when he pronounces the word chillin’ with a hard G – think filling or killing or … well, you get the picture – BGJ – you’re British – deal with it

When Radio Contests Go Horribly Wrong

While we were on vacation, you had the opportunity to listen for the Secret Celebrity to call into the show – once you figured out who the celebrity was, you called in today at the appropriate time and win $1000 if you’re the correct caller and know the celebrity – so today, we had a winner who was told that she had the correct answer – Josh Gad – WOO HOO!!  Except, Josh Gad wasn’t the correct answer – Teddy Geiger was

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Michael Buble and Emily Blunt have broken up

#4 – “Iron Man” movie bosses bought Robert Downey Jr a $200k Bentley to thank him for the success of the movie

#3 – Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have turned down millions to publish pictures of their new baby, Sunday Rose

#2 – Brad and Angelina had their twins and will get $11 million dollars for the baby picture

#1 – Someone hacked into Miley Cyrus’ phone and posted more racy pictures on the Internets that she took of herself

If there is anything you want to do publicly, head to Big Al’s bar – Michael and Jocelyn offered to get married at Al’s bar – and you’ll hear all about it tomorrow – but here’s a teaser – Big Drunk Al saying “So I’m improvising a little bit” – be prepared to hear that phrase a million times a show for the rest of the summer – I’m getting giddy just thinking about it

GIV E HER A DING-DANG RING ALREADY!!!!!!

J Si hasn’t heard from Kinsey since she left Chile to go to Brazil – she’s supposed to be home tomorrow and they still haven’t resolved the whole “Kinsey, I was in my room asleep” when he was really kicking it with the show – not a big lie, but Kinsey was stillmad – and as it turns out – J Si is also mad at Kinsey – because Kellie sent an email inviting everyone to Gay Bingo and Kinsey said she wasn’t sure if she could go because she might be going to Houston – too bad she didn’t mention the Houston trip to J Si – and she’s already going to Vegas next week with friends and then San Diego – and she’s been in Chile for 3 week s- so basically she and J Si aren’t going to see each other for about 2 months – you know what I hear – Kinsey walking out the door – and you know what Chat Room Ross hears, “JSi downplaying the fact that he has been CRYING every night since Kinsey left?” hmmm …

FREDDY – BEHIND THE MUSIC ON THE 4^TH OF JULY

Freddy performed at a 4^th of July concert with 18,000 people

Freddy does his vocal exercises on a walkman cassette player –

The bassist for the band needed to change his underwear because they were too tight

Freddy took of the jersey he was wearing over his American flag t-shirt – but instead of throwing the jersey into the audience, he gave it to the sound engineer which elicited a defeated moan from the crowd – guess he still needs some help on that “I’m a self centered rock star and everybody wants me” thing –

GIRLS RULE!!!!!

July 10, 2008 at 10:49 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

J Si at the Old Folks Home

2 things that are always funny – kids and old people – today it was old people – J Si headed off to the Retirement Home and met up with Jim – now Jim said he was fan of all kinds of music but I don’t think he was prepared for Flo-Rida’s “Low” – especially when J Si asked him who should “give the big booty a smack”, the man or the woman – Jim said the man but then admitted that he didn’t really know what that meant – poor Jim – I guess he still lives in a world where the man takes care of everything 😉 I can’t decide what was funnier – Jim trying to sing “Low” on his own or singing the lyrics about 10-15 beats earlier than the music

Rich’s Hidden Mic in the Taxi Cab

Maya Angelou has a saying, “When people show you who they are, believe them, the first time.” In my opinion, this is when Rich first showed everyone the person he truly is – but a lot of people let it go as an error in judgment and believed Rich when he said that he apologized to this guy – blah-blah-blah – but if everyone had believed Rich after this bit, we wouldn’t have been so surprised when Rich went off on J Si a couple of weeks ago (which, by the way, you can hear tomorrow morning at 5am if you missed it the first time) – Anyway, Rich thought it would be really funny if he got in a cab and then pretended to report the cab driver to the cab company – first he said that the guy was driving recklessly, speeding and running a red light and even hitting someone – then he said the cab driver cussed him out – then he said the cab driver punched him – all the while, the cab driver is starting to freak out because not only is he a really nice guy – he’s a minister – but Rich continues to yuck it up and laugh and make this guy think that he’s going to lose his job – isn’t that funny – isn’t that freaking hilarious – finally, the guy stopped the cab and told Rich to get out – I guess Rich thought it was okay because he left $40 in the guys cab – if I recall correctly, we were able to get the guy on the phone and Rich apologized – but for me it was too little to late – yeah, have I mentioned that I hate Rich?

Barack Obama

I was a fan of Obama’s before this interview and this interview just made me like him even more – whether you’re a hard core Republican or just a supporter of someone else, you have to admit, Obama is super likable – does that mean you should vote for him just based on that – of course not – but it was cool to see his personal side and I enjoy hearing him talk about his girls’ love for the Jonas Brothers!! Definitely go back and listen to this one on the Kpod – if nothing else, you’ll get to hear Kidd’s “reporter voice” instead of his regular “hey, I’m Kidd Kraddick – the DEEEEE-JAAAAYYYY” voice – and just for the record, if you have some McCain connections have them contact us – we’d love to have him on also!!!

Battle of the Sexes: Al vs. Shanon

Oh, Battle of the Sexes – the slightly skewed contest that led to the Kiddie Kat Doll video – but here’s where it all began – the first contest was between Al and Shanon – and since Shanon knows how to build stuff and Big Al pretends to know how to build stuff – the first contest included power tools – specifically identifying them … by sound – now back when this contest actually happened, I remember Big Al talking about going to Home Depot and listening to all the tools so that he could win the contest – and while it was a valiant effort on Al’s part, Shanon still kicked his tail – see, the difference is that Shanon has actually used power tools – the girls won the battle, but we ended up losing the war – but that’s okay – we lost gracefully and in the end, finished on top – the guys thought the girls would be embarrassed and mortified by having to do the video – but instead, they put together this awesome video – and well, they’re HOT!!!

JC Drops His Towel

Kinsey had the girls over for a wine tasting party and J Si thought this would be a great time to do a bit … the “I’m naked in front of my girlfriend’s friends” bit – so the way it went down was that J Si decided would announce to the room that he was going to take a shower and then leave the recorder on – so off J Si went to the bathroom to give himself a pep talk – I think it went something like this, “you can do it J Si – you can walk in front of Kinsey’s friends “nekkid” – meanwhile, the girls were having their usual girl talk – finally, J Si gets his nerve up and walks into the living room covering his “area” with nothing but a flowery towel – Kinsey immediately told J Si to go put some clothes on – so J Si turns around and heads back to the bedroom, but drops the towel exposing his narrow behind on the way – I know it’s narrow because one of the first things the girls were heard yelling out were, “your butt is small” and “it’s only like 3 inches” – is that something that any man wants to hear when his lower region is exposed?? J Si left the recorder rolling hoping to get some good audio from the girls after he left the room … I’m not a man, but I do know that the male ego can be a little on the fragile side – dude, it has to hurt when you drop trou in front of your girlfriend and a bunch of her friends and the most shocking thing that is overheard is your girlfriend saying, “I’m sorry you guys, he’s so embarrassing – so are you ready to go to the club?”

it’s all about the boys

July 10, 2008 at 12:07 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

J Si’s Drunk Birthday

Hey – I’m all about getting your drunk on when it’s your birthday – but when you can’t put together logical sentences, then you might have been celebrating a little too much – but I’m not mad at J Si – I’ve been there – and even though I’m a mom now, there’s a slight possibility that I might be there again – so feel free to laugh at me like I laughed at J Si!! So, how drunk are you when, as a radio personality, you cannot tell the difference between an audio recorder and a cell phone? J Si was being recorded by Shanon’s roommate Keith, and J Si asked who was on the phone – um, J Si – that’s a recorder, not a cell phone!

A couple of choice phrases from drunken J Si “I don’t care if you’re an animal or person” and “I don’t care if you’re a peanut butter jelly sandwich or peanut butter sandwich” – um. Okay.

And when asked to sum up his birthday experience in 3 words … “I’m gonna barf” – yeah, I think that said it all!!

Big Al’s Vacation Wrap Up

Back when Al decided to buy a bar in Playa, he and Redneck Steve went to Playa over Spring Break to get everything started – now, let me just ask you this question – if you were investing roughly $100,000 in a foreign business – don’t you think you would do a little bit of research? For example when you Google “beer bucket playa del Carmen” – wouldn’t you make sure that the 4^th listing wasn’t on Playagayweddings.com – unless of course that’s your target market – not that there’s anything wrong with that!! But then don’t get mad when we refer to your bar as “ Two Gay Guys in a Bucket”

Anyway – Al and Redneck Steve headed to Playa to sign some paperwork and get everything underway since the grand opening was scheduled for Memorial Day – gee Al – at any time did it strike you as strange that your business meeting consisted of you drinking beer for several hours and then signing 20 pages of Spanish documents that you can’t read – or that your Power of Attorney is a man named Manuel who you know nothing about – other than the fact that he’s your Power of Attorney – or that there are pirates walking around Playa – or that you have to use the bathroom in the bar next door because the one in YOUR bar isn’t up to standards?? I’m thinking Al better not burn any gay bridges because he’s gonna have to do gay weddings at the Beer Bucket just to keep from losing his shirt – but of course, if you saw the “logo” above, you would think that the shirt is already gone – ha-ha-ha!!! Oh well – at least he has a back up plan – after all, the Beer Bucket is the #1 bar listed on the South Florida gay calendar …

Kidd’s Orange Juice Injury

I realize that Caroline is 18 now and it’s been a while since there have been any of those newfangled juice boxes at the house – but are they really that hard to figure out? Apparently so – which is why Kidd nearly died by in a horrible orange juice accident – so even though Kidd finally figured out that he needed to remove the straw and stick it into the box – he still managed to screw it up – Kidd decided to “elongate” the straw so that it wouldn’t scratch his nose – but then realized that he had forgotten to shake up the juice – so he took the straw out, covered the hole with his finger and shook up the box, right? Of course not – he was going to put his finger over the straw – but when he did that, the straw went down into the box – no problem – there was still a tiny bit of the straw sticking out and Kidd was just going to pull it out with his teeth – except he couldn’t get a grasp on it and the straw went down into the box – now at this point, I would have just taken this whole ordeal as a sign from God that I needed a Diet Coke instead, but not Kidd – he decided to just drink out of the small hole – and just as he tilted his head back to drink out of the tiniest hole in the world, the straw somehow came back through the hole and lodged its way into the back of Kidd’s throat – yeah, did I mention that Kidd was at a charity fundraising event?? So as Kidd looks around for someone to help him (though how he is still able to breathe, I don’t know) he begins to try to cough the straw out by saying (screeching) “CAW,CAW, CAW” – suddenly, a hot golf cart girl sees Kidd in all of his “CCAW CAW” glory and walks up to him – but not to perform the Heimlich or to ask if he needs some help – instead she says (in her best Kinsey-esque voice), ”um,are you Kidd Kraddick?”

Kidd and Andrew’s Date

Kidd had to take Andrew out on a date because he came last in the game show contest – and originally the plan was to pick up Andrew on a moped, walk around Best Buy and then to have dinner at the food court of the failing mall on the outskirts of the city – instead, Andrew got this …

and then this – i’m betting Andrew didn’t see this coming

you should always wear clean underwear

July 8, 2008 at 9:56 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

J Si Behind the Mic

J Si was so excited he could barely talk – it sounded something like this

Oh but kay whu guess what – We wer uh ah

J SI AND KINSEY

I missed this the first time around and listening to this just made me sad – I love J Si and Kinsey to death – a couple of months back, J Si and Kinsey were having some relationship issues – Kinsey dropped everything and moved out here when J Si got this job – and for the most part, J Si has been supporting Kinsey – Kinsey has been working but she’s also in school – and recently her job has picked up and she’s starting to make some really good money – and that’s all fine and good – but the problem is that it’s now taking away from their relationship – but they don’t necessarily need the money and now her job is starting to affect their relationship – they haven’t had date night in 2 months – so J Si is sad – he doesn’t necessarily want Kinsey to quit her job, but he does wish they were spending more time together – Kellie says despite the fact that Kinsey says she doesn’t want to mooch off of J Si and she isn’t pushing for marriage, she wants the ring – and Kidd says that Kinsey just told him that she doesn’t want to get married right now and that women today (like he would know!) want more than just a man – but as usual, Kellie is right – they’ve been dating for 6 years, she followed him here across the country – it’s time – they don’t have to get married tomorrow – but it’s time to make that commitment – and just like Kellie said – as a woman, your thinking changes when you’re engaged/married – maybe the reason she’s worried about making money is she’s trying to support herself in case J Si decides to bail – I mean, if J Si hasn’t popped the question after 6 years, I’d be wondering why not? Dude, seriously – it’s time – like Charlotte on Sex and the City said “set the date!!!!”

Adolfo Goes to the Bingo Hall

One word – ugh.

The Great Marshmallow Incident

Al Interviews Sly Stallone

The only thing better than Big Al getting punched by Sylvester Stallone would have been seeing it – but Sly’s people weren’t down with the video 😦

JC Holds His Breath for the Record

This story is exactly why I love J Si – he has such a sweet innocence to him – the innocence of a 12 year old – a 12 year old who is naïve enough to think that he is the best at everything – not a couple of things – EVERYTHING!!! So after watching David Blaine break the record for holding his breath for 17 minutes on Oprah – well j Si d

oesn’t think he can hold his breath for 17 minutes but he thinks he can do it for 5 minutes – so he decided to recreate the whole scenario – so he filled his tub with cold water (because David Blaine says that cold water shocks your system) and then he stripped down to his underwear (because cold water is not beneficial to the boys – at least that’s what J Si said) – then he grabbed the stopwatch and put his head underwater – the problem is that J Si had a cold … and needed to cough – but instead of pulling his head out of the water and coughing and starting over, he stifled the cough – but that never works – especially when you’re underwater – so J Si coughed … underwater – and then proceeded to choke – and arms started flailing and he tore down the shower curtain and he came out of the water coughing and choking and Kinsey came running in to see what happened – and what does she say to J Si? Why are you in your underwear?

a little different the second time around

July 4, 2008 at 6:49 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

it’s a different experience hearing some of this stuff the second time around – some stuff i have a different perspective on – and some stuff i completely missed the first time around because i was busy having a baby – either way – here are the highlights of the first show of our vacation

DANITY KANE – kPod #528-529

I love Danity Kane – I love their music – I loved the reality show – Drea is my favorite – the interview was annoying – I was on maternity leave when they were in studio and I was so sad – but now, not so much – I don’t know if it was that there were too many of them or the constant mentioning of “our album is on sale now” or “you can watch the video on mtv.com on Monday” or “you can download the song on iTunes now” blah-blah-blah – then they performed … sort of – they basically sang the hook and it wasn’t that great – man, talk about disappointed – I still love the song “Damaged” and i LOVE LOVE LOVE the video – but after the interview – I was just beat down

KIDD BREAKS IN TO ANDREW’S COMPUTER – kPod #381

Kidd was supposed to go into Andrew’s computer for the sole purpose of finding a video frame that Andrew was working on for Kidd – and when he went into the computer, his email was up and saw a recently sent email in the sent file – so Kidd printed it out – but then he second thoughts about reading it on air – well, sort of – he had second thoughts about reading it without telling Andrew – because he certainly wasn’t asking his permission – so he brought Andrew into the studio to apologize – not about actually reading the email on air – just about looking into his computer – I’ve said before, Andrew is a nice guy but sometimes I just want to shake him – and I can tell you right now that he is wearing thin on Kellie Rasberry – and you know what happens when you wear on Kellie – there is a long lion eof people who have been kicked to the curb – but I digress – back to the letter

Dearest Gamestop Girl …

Oh, come on – you didn’t really think I was going to rewrite the entire letter – besides, there is no way I could compete with Kidd actually reading the love letter written by the man that wears a t-shirt with a tie printed on it – please, I beg you – listen to this on the kPod

DENISE RICHARDS

I’ve really tried to like Denise Richards – but after hearing this interview the second time, I really don’t care for her – she just strikes me as boring and shallow – I mean I know she loves her girls and all but this whole drama between her and Charlie Sheen is a beating – especially because they have children involved – do rather of them really think that this crap won’t still be on the internets somewhere for the world to see – since the interview, she’s announced that she’s put the girls in counseling – um, did it occur to her that if she and Charlie spent more time focusing on their children and less time slamming each other maybe their kids wouldn’t need counseling …

KIDD MEETS B WOODS – kPod #175

Oh B Woods – B “wanna be Big Al” Woods – if you missed it the first time – B Woods was hanging out with Kidd while he was in Los Angeles while Kidd was there for the Ryan Seacrest/Freddy reality show tv meetings – I’ll give B Woods some props – he was funny and had some good one liners – but here’s the deal – don’t be talking about Big Al – I can slam Al if I want to – cause we’re family – but it’s one thing for me to talk about my family, it’s quite another for you to do it – so don’t come up in here trying to talk smack calling Big Al the token black man on the show – especially since that’s your role out in L.A!!! i won’t be having that – and while the threat of B Woods may have worked in Kidd’s favor by causing Big Al to step up his game – I’m still out on him

MAROON 5 – kPod #583-584

Another thing I missed thanks to maternity leave – stupid baby **kicks air** (said with COMPLETE sarcasm!) – the live performance of Maroon 5 – this is one of THE best acoustic performance we‘ve ever had on the show – plus, that Adam Levine is quite the cutie – but the funniest part of the interview was when Adam said he changed his phone number because Big Al wouldn’t stop texting him!! Sigh. Another celebrity contact gone

KELLIE COUGAR HUNT – kPod #113

If you missed the beginning of Kellie’s “relationship” (a word I’m using lightly) with Not-Derek, this is a re-cap of their second not-date – they basically just hung out and Kellie’s and watched cage fighting – but I don’t know what was funnier – the boys trying to ruin this for Kellie before it gets started …

Al: Good kisser?

Kellie: yeah

Kidd, Al and J Si: OOOOOOOHHH – YOU KISSED HIM!!!!

**exasperated sigh** Yes, we’re surrounded by 3^rd graders …

Anyway – the funniest part was Kellie talking to the REAL Jerry Rasberry about dating younger men – and church – according to Mr. Rasberry, watching church on TV doesn’t count – guess I better rearrange my plans for Sunday

Kidd Kraddick discovered them

July 3, 2008 at 3:10 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

“SAVE THAT” OF THE DAY

It exploded in my pants – Kidd Kraddick talking about the bottle rocket his brothers stuffed down his pants

FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW

J Si stealing Kidd’s “to this” when Kidd was trying to put a dramatic pause after “Listen …”

MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT ON THE SHOW

Big Al saying “Have you had your first black man experience” to Hayley of Paramore who looks like she’s 12

Al saying “I think we have Grandpa Kraddick on the phone right now” – in front of Kidd AND Caroline – um, Kidd’s dad passed away and Kidd just said 2 days ago that he was having a hard time deleting his dad’s phone number from his Blackberry – good looking out Al!!!

THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

Katy “I Kissed A Girl” and Travis McCoy from Gym Class Heroes are dating – so all morning long, Kidd kept telling Katy and Travis that he was going to introduce the two of them because he heard they wanted to meet each other

RYAN SEACREST MOMENT OF THE DAY

Gym Class Heroes debuted their song “Cookie Jar” on Ryan’s show instead of ours

THIS JUST IN FROM IJUSTMADEITUP.COM

Did you know that Kidd discovered Demi Lovato – yeah, because before she did that Camp Rock movie, she sang on the sidewalk outside the studio – and then Kidd did nothing for her -but Kidd discovered her – WHAT? I read it on ijustmadeitup.com

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

Don’t set off fireworks in front of your dog because it’ll make him run off

“Things You Might Hear On Today’s Show”

Kellie was asked to be on a reality show about cougars

J Si no longer owns Natasha Bedingfield

Shanon is getting ready to apologize to Nikki

Al made out with someone last night

FLUSH THE FORMAT

There You Go – Pink

Must Be The Money – Nelly

Lolly Lolly – Three 6 Mafia

Beat It – Fall Out Boy

Mash Up – Tipsy/J Kwon – Pour Some Sugar On Me/Def Leppard

Shake It – Metro Station

No Handle Bars – Flobots

Clothes Off – Gym Class Heroes

I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry

HIZZLE

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are having a baby boy

Tatum O’Neal pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and will have her drug charge dismissed

DMX was arrested … AGAIN

Britney Spears has been secretly seeing Adnan

FIREWORK TALK

Kidd’s brothers put a bottle rocket in his pants as a kid – so that’s why Kidd is so … never mind

CORN STORY OF THE DAY

Even though Kellie said it’s not the word porn, that’s bad – it’s just what it actually is, we’ve decided to change the name – so from now on, when we want to talk about porn, we will refer to it as “corn”

SOOOOO, back in the day, Shanon had a boyfriend – yes, Psycho Shanon (who now lives on the other side of the street) had a boyfriend – anyway, Shanon was gone all day and when she finally got home, her boyfriend handed her a chewed up remote and said that her dog, Cody, had accidentally ordered “corn” – not only that, but Cody had locked her boyfriend out while he was ordering the “corn” – wanna know what was really crazy about this story – Shanon BELIEVED him – if you want to hear the original story, first hand – be listening on Monday in the 7 o’clock hour (Central time) – we’ll be playing it on the Best of Show

BILLBOARD TOP 5

5. Three 6 Mafia – Last 2 Walk
4. Motley Crue – Saints of Los Angeles
3. Soundtrack – Camp Rock
2. Lil Wayne – Tha Carter III
1. Coldplay – Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends

FREDDY

Freddy performed “Defying Gravity” live in studio with his new band for the very first time then Kevin, the guy that created The Warped Tour, called to invite Freddy to perform at the tour TODAY – how cool is that???

GYM CLASS HEROES

Travis is in studio and came in with a cane – he sprained his knee in a show the other day when he tripped over deJesus (who plays the eggs) – and now he’s having a little trouble getting around – he had also just woken up – but he got it together just in time to perform the World Premiere of “Live A Little” – it’s a chill song with a nice little guitar solo in the middle – definitely liked it!!

Flashback – Kidd and Travis had a serious underwear talk in Vegas – Travis had bags and bags of underwear in his room because Travis doesn’t wear underwear twice – he said he spends a ton of money on cigarettes – why not spend money on underwear – very nice.

PARAMORE

Hayley Williams is the lead singer and her aunt is a listener and has been emailing Kidd forever telling him to put her niece on the show – well, we finally got her on – now that she’s a big rock star – of course after today, we’ll tell everyone that KKITM discovered her – cause that’s how we do! They performed “That’s What You Get” first – I didn’t know that Paramore sang this song and I LOVE it – Hayley has an awesome voice!!! Then they stuck around to sing “Misery Business” – I’ll be honest with you – I was beyond tired of hearing that song on the radio every 2 minutes, but hearing it played acoustic makes me love it all over again

Paramore tidbit – Hayley grew up listening to funk and soul and used to be in a funk cover band with Jeremy

KATY PERRY

The funnest girl we’ve had on the show in a while – tons of personality and super nice – she just hung out in the kitchen talking to everyone – I think I love her!!!

Katy travels in a tour bus with her face on the side

Katy grew up singing “His Eye Is On the Sparrow” in church

Sister Act 1 and 2, The Preacher’s Wife

Katy has a cat named Kitty Purry

She put this random dude on blast on the Internets for slamming her

She’s a big fan of the color pink – and the artist, Pink

Check her out on Katyperryblog.com

FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS

The band performed the song “Hey Brittany”

Forever The Sickest Kids Tidbit – Jonathan (the lead singer) spent $350 of his money to get front page placement on PureVolume and they didn’t have a song – so they wrote and recorded “Hey Brittany”

And last but not least

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Mario Lopez turned down $200k to pose nekkid in Playgirl

#4 – A Rod’s wife left him for Lenny Kravitz – lucky girl!!

#3 – Lily Allen is doing a song with Lindsay Lohan

#2 – Britney Spears has been secretly seeing Adnan “Bubba” Ghalib and her dad is not happy

#1 – Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes was arrested in St Louis after bonking a guy on the head with a microphone for calling him a racial slur

One member of the show will be hanging with a celebrity while on vacation – and that celebrity will be calling into the show – so listen to see who it is because if you guess correctly, you could win $1000

VACAY!!!!!! We’re on vacation until July 14^th – but we’ve got lots of Best Of for you guys – and i’ll be updating the ReMix with a special highlighted version of the Best Of Shows – I know that Best Of can be a beating – but there’s some old stuff that we haven’t played in a really long time – and just remember – if you haven’t heard it – it’s new to you!!!

um, awkward …

July 2, 2008 at 6:37 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

CHAT ROOM QUOTE OF THE DAY

Valleyranchcharacter: I wouldn’t “do” him if he were the last man on earth and there were no batteries left

FUNNIEST THING HEARD ON THE SHOW TODAY

You’re dead to me – Kellie to Al because he’s decided to move from their neighborhood

FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW

When was the last time you gave a short white girl a beat down? – Kidd to Nikki after Shanon called her dumb

THINGS KIDD COMPLAINED ABOUT TODAY

The things that tall people have that short people don’t

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

Just because you’re tall doesn’t mean you’re hot – Shanon

KIDD’S A.D.D MOST MOMENT OF THE DAY

Kidd intended to talk about a John McCain You Tube video but he got sidetracked and started talking about this “Can I Have Your Number” video instead …

THINGS KELLIE SAID THAT MADE ME LAUGH

I’m wearing really uncomfortable shoes so I’m not in the mood for funny

If your chili has gel in it, I’m not eating it

I don’t want to play your stupid game anyway, Kidd Kraddick

KIDD’S “LOOK AT ME – I’M SMARTER THAN YOU” MOMENT

Using the word “dirigible” instead of “blimp” because he thinks the word dirigible is funnier – um, not if we don’t know what it means

BEHIND THE SCENES – i don’t know how many times i’m going to have to threaten J Si’s life in order to keep him away from my computer – but i have a feeling that this was not the last time …

“Things You Might Hear On Today’s Show”

Kellie hasn’t seen Chris Miles (a boy she had a crush on in high school) in 15 years but she still remembered his birthday

J Si broke his house key in the lock and hasn’t been inside his house since yesterday

Shanon started her morning with an email being cussed out by a listener

Kidd was late today but he brought his special Kidd Kraddick 4^th of July Chili – so it’s okay

Kellie and J Si went to dinner at Al Biernat’s last night and Al had his feelings hurt because he wasn’t invited – Kellie said it was because J Si is all alone with Kinsey in Chile – Al pointed out that he’s all alone too – but Al is alone for a much different reason than J Si – I think Al is just feeling left out because he and Kellie have been all BFF since they live in the same neighborhood – he’s gonna feel really left out when he moves back to the happening part of town – anyway, Al found out that J Si spent the night at Kellie’s on his birthday (because he was too drunkity drunk to drive home) so he as mad about that too – and then J Si had to sleep on the couch of a neighbor because he broke his key off in the door

HIZZLE aka The A.D.D Break of The Day

Angelina Jolie is in the hospital waiting on her twins to be born

Jessica Simpson hired bodyguards while she was in Nashville

Spencer is sorry that he called Mary-Kate Olsen a troll

There was a big discussion on the pronunciation of words – J Si can’t say “worm” correctly because he’s Mexican – I didn’t know Mexican’s couldn’t say worm – Kidd has trouble with the words ‘dollar’ and ‘golf’ – and everyone has trouble with ‘worcestershire’ – and then there’s Big Al who puts the emphasis on the TO in fritos, Doritos, Judge Ito and Tito – as in Tito Jackson

Kidd knows a celebrity who hasn’t had a hit in years who made a ton of money going to Dubai

After all of that, Al tried to finish his Hizzle story, but by that time, we were too far gone …

LOVE LETTERS TO KELLIE

Sending 30 texts a day to your boyfriend without him responding may indicate that he’s just not that into you

If your husband throws you a surprise party when you didn’t want one and you’re pouting about it, you’re both wrong

Sometimes when 2 people want 2 very different things, there is no compromise

After J Si talked to the troops coming home from leave, we got a lot of feedback and we heard from Jennifer and James Bartholomi – we talked to both Jennifer and James and they told us how difficult it is to maintain a marriage when you’re apart – James is about to head out for his second tour and Jennifer will be left here again to wait for James to return – every day he’s gone she has to wonder when (and unfortunately, if) he will return – she goes days without any contact from him and then when she does have contact, she has to try and maintain the intimacy of their relationship in the limited time they’re able to talk – it sucks and there isn’t really anything that we can do to make it better – but a little birdie told us that James and Jennifer are big fans of the show and have always wanted to come watch the show – so guess who is coming to see the show tomorrow? James and Jennifer – and they’re bringing friends – they were supposed to go out of town with some friends, but instead, Southwest Airlines is flying all four of them to the show – we’re going to put them up a the Wyndham and they’ll stay all weekend – they’re gonna go to Frisco Park to see Freddy perform on the 4^th of July, they’re going to go to Six Flags and they’re even going to go eat at Medieval Times because that’s James’ favorite restaurant – and all of that is thanks to State Farm who is helping us out! It’s not much, but it’s the least we can do to thank the people that continue to fight for our country

Dimitri the Lover just gets oogier and oogier – I don’t know why we’re still talking about him because I get the heebies every time I hear his voice – Kellie thinks that this dude maybe trying to ‘Borat’ us since his website says he’s making a documentary – and the Chat Room thinks we should send Andrew to Dimitri’s classes – J Si did write an awesome parody song, so I guess we HAD to mention Dimitri (who will in the future be referred to as “Freak-itri” -thank you Valleyranchcharacter) or else we wouldn’t have heard J Si’s song

Chat Room opinions on Freak-itri

Valleyranchcharacter: He reminds me of the Real Life Tom Cruise Character in Magnolia

Pita: i dont play that game … Olga … “I will slit your throat … got that?”

Abbeym32: “I’m a complete catch that just hasn’t been caught yet”

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Molly Ringwald wants to do a sequel to “16 Candles”

#4 – New Kids on the Block recorded a song with New Edition called “Full Service”

#3 – Michael Lohan is going to sue the woman who says she’s her Baby Daddy if he’s not the dad

#2 – Paris Hilton says she plays ice hockey

#1 – Angelina Jolie is in the hospital preparing to give birth to the twins

Al’s “Not Good” Bit of the Day that turned into the MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SHOW MOMENT EVER!!!!

In honor of the 4th of July, Al went to a restaurant to test America’s patriotism by having them complete lines from “The Star Spangled Banner” and “America the Beautiful” – only for some reason, he didn’t quite make it to the restaurant – he ended up in the deli of our building instead – there he ran into Nikki – since the Finish the Line portion of the show went so terribly well, we decided to change directions – Al asked Nikki a few topical questions- none of which she knew the answer to – Who is the vice president? she didn’t know – What is Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ son named (they don’t have a son) she didn’t know – Who is Jessica Simpson dating? She didn’t know – HUH??? At this point we were running super late and Shanon was a little past the point of annoyed – so she basically called Nikki dumb – ok, she actually called Nikki dumb – and it was an uncomfortable moment for all – so what did we do? Make it even more uncomfortable – so Al brought Nikki back to the studio

look – it’s Big Al with a black woman!!

– normally this wouldn’t have bothered Shanon all that much, but Nikki is somewhat intimidating since she’s about 6’3″ – um, Shanon is about 5’4″

– the whole idea in bringing her back to the studio was to see if Shanon would call her dumb to her face – and then to make her apologize – let’s see – when you start off your sentence with “If I hurt your feelings …” or “Because your feelings are allegedly hurt, I wish I would’ve said it a little nicer ” can it really qualify as an apology?? Nah – I didn’t think so – but Shanon did offer to have an intern deliver the crappy bouquet that Rich sent J Si to Nikki as a peace offering – Kidd didn’t think that was a very nice gesture (and neither did Nikki)

and told Nikki that he wished he had never hired Shanon – WOW – that was almost as harsh as what Shanon said – but I don’t think Shanon was all that phased by Kidd’s remarks – rather than retract her statements, Shanon commented that now Nikki “knows she’s got some things to work on” – like current events perhaps??? i guess it’s a good thing that Kidd offered Nikki and her husband a really nice dinner on Shanon, uh, er, the show

Remember Freddy’s crazy Vegas story that he didn’t tell because he didn’t feel like being funny – well Kidd told is – and it wasn’t that funny – basically a bunch of Australians came to Freddy’s door asking to be let in to look around because they left their cell phone (a day and a half ago) – then they basically ransacked his room but didn’t find the “cell phone” or anything else they were looking for

Make sure you don’t miss tomorrow’s show – it is going to be music packed – Gym Class Heroes, Paramore, Forever the Sickest Kids, Katy Perry and of course our very own Freddy – and Katy Perry is performing!!!!