Kidd Kraddick Remix

EWWWW MOMENT OF THE TODAY

Kidd talking about motorboating in the same sentence that he was talking about Kellie’s boobs

I’M KELLIE RASBERRY DAMMIT

Kellie enjoys reading aloud and was going to volunteer to read books for the blind – but when they told her they wanted her to come down and audition, she declined – “I’m Kellie Rasberry, dammit – you either want me or you don’t”

J SI’S “I’M A 7 YEAR OLD BOY” MOMENT

“You look like a tree right now!” – J Si’s slam on Kidd who was wearing a green shirt and brown pants

KELLIE RASBERRY’S DIVA MOMENT

“Does this involve me? Okay – then I need to pay more attention than usual. Sometimes I drift” – Kellie

KELLIE’S SOUTHERN MOMENT OF THE DAY

Kellie liked her babysitter, Spider, because Spider would light a candle and let Kellie burn her Barbie’s hair – when Kellie’s mom saw the pile of burned Barbie hair, Spider was never seen again

KIDD’S “NEXT YOU’LL GROW A VESTIGIAL TAIL” MOMENT

“You can chat with strangers?” – Kellie – yes Kellie – and with people you know too!

THE OUTSIDE MY HEAD MOMENT OF THE SHOW

“Okay – this is not gonna go well – oh, did I say that out loud?” – Kellie talking about the success of Kidd’s new book

THE THING AL SAID THAT MADE ME LAUGH

That girl looks perfect, let me give her herpes – Kidd as Big Al

THE THING SHANON SAID THAT MADE ME LAUGH

“Take a Fun Ed class or something” – talking to J Si and Big Al because they are completely unable to read liners on air – that’s right – they get paid to talk on the air – they’re professionals – see boys and girls – Reading IS Fundamental

WHY YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW

They don’t have turkeys in Mexico – which is why Mexican’s don’t celebrate Thanksgiving – at least that’s what J Si says

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie is issuing a last minute invite for Thanksgiving dinner

Big Al interviewed Usher and did animal noises

J Si is concerned because Kinsey has invited people to Kellie’s for Thanksgiving

Shanon is taking issues with Al and Andrew

FLUSH THE FORMAT

Dead and Gone – Justin Timberlake and T.I

Gimme More – Britney Spears

Scars – Papa Roach

Confession – Usher

Just Dance – Lady Gaga

Right Now – Akon

The Turkey Song – Adam Sandler

American Idiot – Green Day

Caught Up – Usher

Motown Philly – Boys II Men

The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage – Panic at the Disco

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, HERE’S THE HERP

Gailya (one of the women who works in the office) is really into holidays and sent everyone a Thanksgiving Day e-card – Kidd won’t open it because he thinks that e-cards either a. are just a reason to update your flash or b. have a virus – Kellie pointed out that she would rather have that kind of virus instead of the kind Al could get you – too bad, because Kidd came up with great greeting card messages for Al to send out at the holidays – “Happy Holidays, you’re sexually scarred for life” or how about “Here’s a little gift of my indiscriminate decision making” – genius – hey Kidd, if this radio thing goes south, you can always write for Hallmark

HIZZLE

Carson Daly is having a baby (or at least his girlfriend is)

Drama between Warren Sapp and Derek Hough behind the scenes on Dancing with the Stars

MTV is hosting an inaugural ball

Britney is trying to get permission to go on tour

J SI’S DIA DE GRACIAS SONG

The best thing about this song is the fact that J Si created all the music himself on his fancy Mac Book – he mentioned being thankful for Kidd’s shortness, Kellie’s new rack, and Shanon because they can take chicks out together – he was thankful for Al too, but not for any particular reason, Sexy Jack – and as an afterthought, J Si remembered to be thankful for his mom, dad, sister and girlfriend – I bet they’re thrilled

HIGHLIGHT – CHAPTER 1

There hasn’t been a book (according to Kidd) that has captivated the reading attention of kids and teens in a long time – pay no attention to that Harry Potter and Twilight nonsense – and disregard that entire section of books at Barnes and Noble labeled Teen Reading – according to Kidd, teens are just not reading – and he wants to change that – so what’ he going to do? Donate books to a local school – make a huge donation to a local library – nope. He’s decided to write a book – because what could be better for the kids than a book written by an amateur? Sure, Kidd wrote a semi-successful book over 10 years ago called Rude Awakenings – so successful that when I googled Rude Awakenings, Kidd’s name isn’t mentioned anywhere on the first 5 pages – and so successful that when I googled “Rude Awakenings Kidd Kraddick” there were only 56 matches – but that’s not important – I was a listener back in the Rude Awakening days and I will admit that the book was greatness – and this one will be too – if for no other reason than the fact that Kidd plays Kellie in that audio version that we’ll read every day – and he has to use Kellie voice – WOO HOO!!! And Kellie will play the role of all the other parts – including that of narrator and her 300 year old plastic surgeon, Dr Booty, who is suddenly in love with her now that he’s soon her totally naked – still interested? You should be – so check it out on the kPod and listen on Monday to Chapter 2 – I know it’s going to be great because Kidd will have a 4 day weekend to write it – who am I kidding? He’ll write it on Monday the break before we’re supposed to read it on air

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Amy Winehouse is in the hospital after a fight with Blake Incarcerated

#4 – Diddy and Aretha Franklin are doing their own “American Idol” type show

#3 – Warren Sapp and Derek Hough had a behind the scenes throwdown on DWTS

#2 – It looks like Britney may be going on tour

#1 – Alex Rodriguez will be with his children on Thanksgiving after all

“DON’T QUIT YOUR DAY JOB, PIMP” – USHER

Was it Al’s use of the word “intimate” – or Al making the statement “you’re just starting this tour” knowing full and well that it was the very last date of Usher’s tour – or maybe it was when Al made an elephant noise complete with arm motions – or the fact that he made owl noises (prompting Kellie to call him ‘Big Owl’) while Usher was talking about the rumors about him not being with his pregnant wife – or maybe it was when Al ended the interview with “damn dawg, you’re kinda hot” – whatever it was, it was awkward and uncomfortable – and I am now convinced that Big Al is gay – not that there’s anything wrong with that …

THE A.D.D. BREAK OF THE DAY

Somehow this break went from movie talk complete with an Australian accent to the idea of Kidd buying a $155,000 jet pack – somewhere in there Shanon said “I would apologize if I was sorry, but I’m not” and Kellie came up with the classic one liner, “I can get another wife but I can’t get another me” when we found out that the jet pack inventor used his wife and his young son to test out the jet pack

KELLIE’S BIGGEST FEAR OF GETTING BOOBS AND A TUMMY TUCK

It’s not the anesthetic – and it’s not the risk of having elective surgery even though she’s the mom of a baby – and it’s not the idea of having a foreign object in my body – no. Kellie is worried that she will turn into a Huge Whore when she gets her boobs

GOOD THING THERE WERE ONLY 10 MINUTES LEFT IN THE SHOW

Talking about Kellie’s plastic surgery …

“it’s not gonna do anything for your thighs” – Kidd

“and it’s not gonna help that flat butt either” – Al

Nothing like making a woman feel good about herself

AND THIS IS HOW WE ENDED THE SHOW …

With Kidd wearing his fake Richie Sambora Bon Jovi hat

And on that note – have a Happy Thanksgiving

BIG AL’S POINTLESS STORY OF THE DAY

Al had a chicken, a rooster and a duck growing up and he almost drowned the duck – can you drown a duck?

FUNNIEST CONVERSATION OF THE SHOW

Math is important – Kellie

Then why do you suck at it? – Kidd

Because I don’t care – Kellie

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie shaved her legs for the first time in 2 weeks – the Happy Camper must be working

Big Al had a party last night and almost everyone showed up

J Si lost his cleats and $60 when Kinsey cleaned out his bag

Shanon is in a panic about Christmas

Sexy Jack wants to know if American’s use Bread Sauce? No Jack – we’re not interested in your British creamy sauce

BLACK NIGHT AT BIG AL’S HOUSE

Yesterday, Big Al’s mom called him to tell him that a friend of hers had passed away – I guess that made Al a little nostalgic because he called up The Super Homeboys aka his childhood friends and invited them over to hang out for a few hot wings and guy bonding – too bad the party came to a complete stop when his iPod busted out with a little Lenka (whose music was used in the movie Juno) – if Al still had his black card, I’m sure one of the Super Homeboys would have demanded it immediately!

J SI’S GOT COMPANY

J Si and Kinsey have taken in borders for the next month because Kelly Jo (Kinsey’s sister) is traveling the country with her grandma – Mina and Mario are Mexican and they are friends of Kinsey’s – Kinsey invited them to live with her and J Si while they look for another place because she thought having a another couple around would make her and J Si do more couple things – but they aren’t couple-y at all – they’re more like J Si – so instead of hanging out and going on double dates, they’re sitting around the house and playing Wii – according to J Si, everything is going well but it sounds like Kinsey may be left out in the cold – J Si and his new roomies have been speaking Spanish all the time and since Kinsey can’t really speak Spanish – and I guess Kidd thought this was hilarious because he suggested they throw a big Mexican themed party and not tell Kinsey – that is until she randomly gets home from work and sees the mariachis and the piñata – yeah, I’m sure that’ll go over well – I think I hear Beyonce’s “if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it” in the background – and I think it’s starting to get louder …

HIZZLE

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt eloped

Miley Cyrus is making big money by performing at a private corporate event

Michael Vick may get out of prison early

Britney’s dad is running her life and she’s not happy about it

IS TODAY THE DAY I’LL BE FIRED?

Despite the fact that people are almost never fired from the Kidd Kraddick show, Kellie, Al, Shanon (and every once in a while, Mr. “I’m great at everything” J Si) live in constant fear of being fired – considering Al has the highest incident rate of failure, you’d think he’s be a little more concerned – or at least have a backup plan – but no – his “Kidd Just Fired Me” plan is pretty much to head straight to the airport and hop on a plane to Playa – sounds like bad looking out to me, but whateve – Kidd seemed to be very amused by the whole segment – articulately the part where kellie said that in all her time here, no one has ever approached her about leaving the show – but knowing Kidd like you do – you know he had some comforting words for Kellie – “Kellie I don’t think you have anything to worry about – As long as you’re not grotesquely overpaid compared to other people in your field …” – whil Kellie gulped, I breathed a sigh of relief – whew.  I’ll be here forever!!!

UOS aka KELLIE’S UNSOLICITED OBVIOUS SOLUTION

Shanon’s dog, Oprah, is acting out because she’s mad at Shanon for leaving her at home for 4 days while she went on the Kidd’s Kids trip – she’s been tearing up the furniture and the other day, she looked straight at Shanon and then proceeded to pee on the floor – Kellie offered up the suggestion of taking Oprah out more and playing with her – but since that was the obvious suggestion, Shanon’s already done it – any other brilliant ideas Kellie?

TIN CAN TURKEY MAN

aka – the bit that got Al banned from a major university college library – this is one of my favorite bits ever – okay, maybe it was just because of the theme song – but it was still hilarious – Big Al thought it would be a great idea if he tied

10 tin cans to each of his legs and try to get all of the turkey cookbooks to be removed from the library – the big famous university library – to truly appreciate this, you have to listen to it on the kPod – especially so you can hear the theme song – but the funniest part is at the very end when security gets involved – the conversation went something like this

“What is your name?” – Security

“Tin Can …” (insert Kidd yelling at Al) – Big Al

“ok, my name’s Kidd Kraddick” – Big Al

CLASSIC!!!

DRUNKITY DRUNK DRUNK

The other night, J Si was taking the dogs out around 11:30pm when he thought he saw someone breaking into a car – when he got closer, he realized it was a girl and since she didn’t look like she was a threat J Si went to investigate – he asked her if she locked herself out of her car and then realized she was completely Drunkity Drunk Drunk – J Si assumed that she had locked her keys in her car, so he offered to walk her to her apartment – “so, what floor are you on?” J Si asked  -and she’s all “um, okay – um, um, okay” – so J Si walks her around the entire complex trying to find her apartment but she’s too drunk to find her house – then J Si’s neighbor Coolie comes out and realizes that he knows this chick because she was just trying to get into Coolie’s buddy’s car – he was coming to check on her but now she’s in the apartment complex thanks to J Si – so they are trying to talk to her and ask her where she lives, but in the mean time,  Drunkity Drunk Drunk starts doing snow angels – except there’s no snow – just the bare floor – then she sees J Si’s dog Delilah and proceeds to kiss her all in the mouth – and you know Delilah is all over that – so they’re trying to figure out where this girl lives – she doesn’t have a driver’s license, only a passport – but that has a Tennessee address – so at this point, it’s getting late and J Si needs to get ready for bed so they’re just going to call the police – they head to the phone at Coolie’s house and then hear comes Drunkity Drunk Drunk trying to pull her pants off because her butt hurts – so Coolie decides to call one of those car services instead of the cops because surely she’s gonna get a ticket for public drunkenness – so Drunkity Drunk Drunk heads to the bathroom while the boys are using the phone – all of a sudden, they hear the water running – when J Si and Coolie go to check out what’s happening, there’s Drunkity Drunk Drunk in all of her naked glory bending over the tub and playing with the water – so they tell her to get dressed and wait for her to come out – but after a few minutes, there’s nothing – so they go back to the bathroom only to find Drunkity Drunk Drunk in the tub splashing in the water and petting the faucet – okay … so Coolie gets mad at this point and Drunkity Drunk Drunk’s starting to get attitude too – J Si decides this would be a good time to run upstairs to put the dogs away and when he gets back, Coolie is curled up in a ball on the couch with Drunkity Drunk Drunk petting him on his face – at this point, Drunkity Drunk Drunk is wearing a bathrobe and gets mad because J Si and Coolie aren’t paying her enough attention – so she takes off her robe and starts to rant at them for not looking at her – then she starts to go on about wanting to go to sleep – they tried to get her dressed but that wasn’t happening either so Coolie decides to put her to bed in the guest room and J Si asks her if it’s okay if he calls one of her friends – this girl is one of the only people in the world who only has about 20 numbers in her phone – and as J Si goes through her phone – who’s number does he come across first?  None other than Big Al Mack – surprised?  Of course not!!

NEW MUSIC TUESDAY

Chinese Democracy – Guns N Roses
Day & Age – The Killers
Theater of the Mind – Ludacris
Prospekt’s March – Coldplay
808’s And Heartbreak – Kanye West
The Final Riot – Paramore
The Greatest Remixes – Good

KANYE’S NEW ALBUM

Okay – we listened to samples from the whole album – and pretty much the whole album is done in autotune – t’s not a lot of rap – mostly Kanye singing in autotune – I thought it was a good album but it’s very different from Kanye’s previous stuff – we pretty much waited all morning for Kanye to call, but we got stood up – so maybe we’ll find out what happened tomorrow – in the meantime, here’s what Kidd thought about the album – “Somber despondent random album” – but he said that he like it – um, okay …

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Robert Pattinson had to fix his teeth for the movie Twilight

#4 – Alex Rodriguez is abandoning his kids on Thanksgiving to be with Madonna – at least that’s what his ex-wife says

#3 – Miley Cyrus got a home recording studio for her 16^th birthday instead of a car

#2 – Paris Hilton was booed at Christian Audigier’s daughter’s birthday party

#1 – Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt eloped in Cabo San Lucas

THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT BARACK OBAMA

Kidd thought it would be fun to give us Barack Obama facts and see if we could identify the fake ones …

His favorite meal is shrimp linguini

He won a Grammy in 2006

He’s only the 6^th president since WWII to be left handed

He once drove a Harley from Miami to Seattle

He has read every Harry Potter book

He speaks fluent Spanish

His favorite drink is Big Red

He can bench press 400 pounds

He took Michelle to see the Spike Lee movie, Do the Right Thing on their first date

He sang Brick House with the Commodores on Michelle’s 30^th birthday

He gets his hair cut in Chicago by Zariff and pays $21

His favorite TV show is The Wire

He buys all his suits at The Men’s Wearhouse

He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid

AND THE FAKE ONES

He once drove a Harley from Miami to Seattle

His favorite drink is Big Red

He sang Brick House with the Commodores on Michelle’s 30^th birthday

He buys all his suits at The Men’s Wearhouse

He drives a Ford Escape Hybrid

UNBEKNOWNST TO ME

Caroline is coming home from school today for Thanksgiving break and Kidd is going to pick her up (because she’s riding with a friend and meeting half way – so that means Kidd is going to miss out on the Usher interview – so who are we sending in his place?   The best interviewer in the office – Big Al Mack – all I have to say is I can’t wait until tomorrow

ITUNES TOP 5

5.  If I Were a Boy – Beyonce
4.  Love Lockdown – Kanye West
3.  You Found Me – The Fray
2.  Just Dance – Lady GaGa & Colby O’Donis
1.  Single Ladies – Beyonce

YOU BEAT US DOWN WITH CAROLINE FOR YEARS – JUST LET ME TELL MY ONE STORY

I know Kidd gets bored with Emma Kelly stories – and I understand because Caroline’s all grown up now – but some of us wanted to hear how Emma Kelly’s 2 year pediatrician appointment went – the doctor is estimating her full height at 5′9 ½” which is the same height as Kellie – the pedi also said that Emma Kelly is “highly verbally advanced” – and obviously that is true as proven by her new favorite phrase – no, not “DIE, DIE, DIE” – Emma Kelly has moved on to “oh crap” – oh, she can say thank you also – and she’s pretty dang cute when she says it – but “oh crap” is so much more fun because it elicits a much better response from people – note to self:  clean up potty mouth before Sydney can say more than “mama” and “agua”!

BEHIND THE SCENES

J Si randomly announced to the Geek Room that just seeing tangerines makes him want to poop – um, why would you feel the need to share that?  He said he thought we were friends – J Si, friends don’t let friends talk about poop

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE

“Golly-Willakers” – J Si – um, it’s Golly-GEE-Willakers …

KIDD THE NAME DROPPER

Dr. Phil let Kidd use his hair and makeup people instead of having to use the “regular guest” hair and makeup people – well aren’t you special??

KIDD THE NAME DROPPER PART 2

Kidd went to the Grand Opening of Lucky Strike Lanes in L.A. (where the cool people go to bowl) with Ryan Cabrera and Evan Ross, “a really good actor” (and also Diana Ross’ son) according to Kidd – aw Kidd, come on – you don’t really know if Evan Ross is “a really good actor” – because he hasn’t been in anything!!

KIDD’S RICH GUY MOMENT

Kidd was supposed to be taping his segment on The Doctors – but instead of making his call time, he was busy hanging out on the golf course of the Bel Air Country Club with Dr. Phil …

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID QUOTE OF THE DAY

Kellie’s suggested that Al impersonate a Gamecock in honor of South Carolina in the Unique Talent Day bit

“Impersonate a cock” – Kellie

**crickets**

“That’s right, no noise necessary” – Kellie

WHY YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW

“Pachyderms only ‘go’ three times a year” – Kidd – thanks for that random bit of (false) information

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie brought Burger King and TGI Friday flavored snacks for the show

Big Al wants to be Elvis just like Kanye

J Si is obsessed with the Wii

Shanon went to see “Twilight” and loved it

Kidd taped his episode of “The Doctors” over the weekend and sucked (at least according to him)

HIZZLE

Nicolette Sheridan was caught making out with David Spade

Julianne Hough is leaving “Dancing with the Stars”

Jamie Foxx chipped his teeth for a movie role

A-Rod is backing out on his Kaballah classes and maybe Madonna

IT’S BORAT-CULA (THANKS BEN!!!)

So Thursday night we sent Andrew out to the first showing of Twilight to see if he could find a girl – the idea was that girls are in love with Edward because he’s a vampire – so wouldn’t it stand to reason that Andrew would be able to get a girl if he were a vampire – only, we actually sent him out as an actual vampire – complete with black hair dye job (a very bad dye job from what I understand) and a cape – (see the cape story below) – now, I’m pretty sure that you’ll be able to figure out how this went – it’s Andrew … dressed as a vampire … hitting on girls – Andrew fails on a regular basis with regular girls – can you just imagine how this went with Count Andrula – I was having a total Sesame Street flashback and at any moment I was expecting Andrew to bust out with “One, one girl at the movie – Two, two girls at the movies, Three, three girls at the movies” -  plus he was complete with cheesy pick up lines like, “Would you like to get a Blood Light?”  - again with the pun – UGH – then he fulfilled my Sesame Street memory with, “Can I get your digits??  Seven digits” – I have to admit, I was impressed with Andrew’s counting prowess …

ONLY ANDREW …

And speaking of “un” – only Andrew could be unlucky enough to be in the presence of six girls and one guy and only walk away with interest from the guy – “My name is Donnie Volani” – I know it’s shocking – i mean with killer pick up lines like, “Pretty lady of the night – would you like to go out for a Bloody Mary” – who could blame the girls for looking in a completely different direction – of course the lameness didn’t stop Donnie – or the girls for offering up a trade – if Andrew would kiss Donnie’s neck, they would give Andrew their phone numbers – seriously??  I can’t believe they were lame enough to think that even Little Andrew would fall for such nonsense – but then who knows – Andrew did throw out the fact that Donnie wasn’t very good looking – could that have been the deal breaker between necking and not-necking?  I guess we’ll never know because although we tried, we were never able to make an on air connection with the great Donnie Volani – so what this ended up as was yet another failed bit – great – and welcome to the Kidd Kraddick show

ARE YOU A FURRY???  ARE YOU???

Jenna (the new phone screener) has a cape that she let Andrew borrow for the bit – apparently she’s a costume person (um, okay …) – which led Kellie to ask if Jenna did furry costumes – as in Furries – Kellie, not familiar with the Furries thought that the Furrie people dress up as animals because they’re “socially awkward” and that the extenet of their “furrieness” consists of standing around in costumes – yeah Kellie – not exactly …

KIDD’S BFF, AVRIL LAVIGNE

If you’ve listened to this show for any length of time, you know that Avril Lavigne is not at the top of our “Favorites List” – we’ve had a couple of good experiences with her, but we’ve also had some pretty bad ones – like the time when she laid her head on the table throughout the entire interview – or the time when her people made everyone leave the backstage area so that she could walk through – really Skater Girl?  Are you THAT big of a deal?  Anyway, so after expressing on air more than once, how much we really don’t love her – guess who Kidd ended up being paired with at a celebrity bowling tournament – BWAAHHH – but it gets better – who else has Kidd been more than vocal about his unending disdain – that’s right Dane “anything with Dane Cook in it sucks” Cook – oh, okay – awkward – and then because the situation wasn’t awkward enough – the Karma gods added Paris Hilton to the mix – yes, Paris Hilton who is on an “amicable break” (at least according to Paris) from Kidd’s BFF Benji Madden – yeah, that’s not uncomfortable at all …

So Kidd’s at the  lane with his team which includes, Avril Lavigne, who is standing there with her assistant and husband, Derrick Whibley – the assistant looks at Kidd and says, “we know you” and then calls Avril to come over – of course Kidd starts to get nervous – because there’s no telling what exactly she remembers of Kidd – until Avril says, “hey, were you with us in Vegas?” to which Kidd replies, “uh yeah” – BUSTED … because of course Kidd wasn’t there – but Kidd being the quick thinker that he is draws off his penchant for celebrity gossip (lol) and says “with Martin with Boys Like Girls” – and that was the magic answer because the rest of the night, Avril was just as nice and sweet and personable as she could possibly be – so you know what that means to me?  Avril is still a huge B – she’s just nice to the people that she knows

JUST BECAUSE YOU HANG WITH THE COOL PEOPLE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN DO THE THINGS THE COOL PEOPLE DO

After the bowling tournament – Ryan and his posse (which included Kidd) head out to a “cool celebrity” club – of course since he was with Ryan, they walk them to a private outdoor booth – Ryan is in front of Kidd and walks into the booth and jumps up on the booth and sits on the back of the booth – you know, like when you sit on the back of the chair and put your feet in the seat?  And Kidd, thinking he’s as cool as Ryan, decided to follow suit – only instead of sitting in the chair like Ryan, Kidd falls – like falls backward and gets caught between the booth and the walland is dangling, stuck with his feet in the air – Kidd called out for help, but it was pretty loud and Ryan didn’t hear him – until about 30 minute later – So Ryan, being the good friend that he is leans down to help Kidd up to avoid further embarrassment, right?  Well no – duh.  Instead, he calls all of his friends over, who all proceed to point laugh and take pictures – very nice … I’ve been scouring the Internets to see if there are any pictures of Kidd’s head wedged between the wall and the booth – but no – I know as a loyal employee/fan of KKITM, I shouldn’t find pleasure in Kidd’s humiliation – but I went to the Kellie Rasberry school of “Humiliation is funny – especially when it isn’t you!”

I’VE BEEN CAMPING AND I WAS NOT HAPPY

Kellie is in a funk – it’s been a while since she’s been in a one and she hasn’t really said much about it because no one wants to hear about how depressed you are – especially when you have a pretty great life – the fact that Kellie is very blessed isn’t lost on her – but it hasn’t stopped her from feeling depressed and it hasn’t helped her to pull herself out of her depression – but Kellie is pretty adamant that she doesn’t want to go back on prescription meds so she’s going to try the natural route – only when she went to the health food store to ask for a recommendation on what to take, she started crying while talking to the guy – who of course gave her a quick recommendation for “Happy Camper” and then made a quick retreat – Kellie’s not real sure exactly what “Happy Camper” does though Al was happy to read us every detail off the label – today was Kellie’s first does so she doesn’t have any results to report on soon – but stay tuned – because between the “Happy Camper” pills and the “Poopy Pills” she’s also taking – well , there is sure to be a story in their somewhere

SPORTS TALK

Chargers lost again – BLAH BLAH BLAH – Texas Tech got their butts whipped – BLAH BLAH BLAH – University of Texas is now #2  - BLAH BLAH BLAH – whew – glad I didn’t miss any of that.

THE DOCTORS

Sometimes when people step it up, they really step it up – not only are The Doctors giving one deserving listener the plastic surgery makeover of a lifetime – they also did a feature on Kidd’s Kids, Jacob which will air on their show – and if that wasn’t enough by highlighting our charity on a national tv show – they also donated $10,000 to Kidd’s Kids – WOO HOO!!  Talk about walking the walk!

GET YOUR SEXY BACK

We had over 2000 entries for people who were wanting to get their sexy back – and after going through all of the entries, we were finally able to narrow it down to 4 people – the way it will go is, the finalists profiles will be up on the website for the listeners to vote for – you can vote once a day until 10am December 1^st – then the next day we’ll make the announcement – it’s going to be tough because there are some good stories – but I already have my favorite!

FINALIST #1 – Taryn

Taryn want a tummy tuck and some new boobies – why?  Well because she gave birth to triplets – and after that, she breast fed them – for over a year – um, yeah – I gave birth to one baby and am breastfeeding one baby – and all I have to say is “YIKES!” – she delivered her triplets by c-section – but not just regular C-section – she got her good old vertical C-section – so instead of that small scar down on the bikini line – she has a train track going up her midsection – and if the extra skin from the pregnancy wasn’t bad enough – her stomach muscles are completely shot – after she gave birth, her OB tossed a plastic surgeons card on her tummy and said “you’re gonna need this” – well that’s not what I would call a great bedside manner – her husband took the pictures to send to us and she cried the entire time he took them

FINALIST #2 – Katherine

Katherine was nominated by her husband Roger – Katherine had breast implants before she ever had kids – everything was fine until she was pregnant with her third child and one of her implants ruptured – medically she was okay because it was a saline implant but physically, she had one deformed boob – money was tight and they weren’t able to do the repair right away, so her doctor offered to do the surgery for the cost of the implant – that is until he was involved in a hit and run accident and lost his medical license – Roger has been wanting to get the surgery done for Katherine, but financially it just wasn’t feasible – and while Katherine has felt miserable because she’s been living with one boob that is bigger than the other – Roger has been feeling miserable because he can’t get the surgery for his wife

FINALIST #3 – Sommer

Sommer was nominated by her best friend Randi – Sommer and Randi have been friends for a while and have helped each other through some difficult times – Sommer had gastric bypass surgery and has lost about 150 pounds – and while the weight loss has been fantastic, it has left her body with a ton of excess skin – so much that she has an apron of skin in her front and can grab more than a handful of extra skin on the side of her waist – she went to a boot camp trying to get in shape but was unable to work out because of the extra skin – it was so bad, that the extra skin caused her pants to fall down during the workout and she couldn’t participate – one of her really low moments is when Some rand Randi went shopping for an outfit for Sommer’s 30^th birthday party – while trying on a dress, Sommer’s extra skin got caught in the zipper

FINALIST #4

Jennifer was nominated by her husband John – they have 4 children which has left Jennifer with a ton of extra skin around her belly – John says that Jennifer is very self conscious about the extra skin and never complains about her body but her kids are starting to ask about the extra skin – when they ask, Jennifer just says that she carried them in her tummy and they grew really big – Jennifer cried for an hour when John took the pictures to send to us

As you can see, all of the finalists are deserving of the makeover – but only one can win – so decide who your favorite is and make sure you vote

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader”

#4 – Nicolette Sheridan was seen making out with David Spade at her 45^th birthday party

#3 – Madonna is trying to lure Britney Spears back to Kabbalah

#2 – Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend made out while Billy Ray got a tattoo

#1 – There will be a sequel to “Twilight”

AL, THIS IS WHY SOMETIMES IT’S BEST FOR YOU TO JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

After talking about Miley Cyrus making out with her boyfriend in front of her dad, Big Al felt the need to throw out the statement “I’ve never made out with a girl in front of my parents” – STUNT!!!!   The show though it would be a great idea for Al to bring a girl to Thanksgiving dinner and then make out with her in front of his parents – but not just a few affectionate kisses – we’re talking full on tongue action – complete with groping and oogey noises – see Al – sometimes it’s okay to just say NOTHING!!!!

THE SHOW THAT KNOWS NOTHING

It looks like Hilary Clinton will accept the position of Secretary of State from Barack Obama – so, KKITM – what exactly does the Secretary of State do?  J Si?  Um, she’s the secretary for Barack Obama – like making copies and getting appointments – nope – and she doesn’t get him coffee either?  Big Al? uh, she deals with dignitaries from the rest of the world – not exactly – actually, the Secretary of State is the head of the US Department of State – she negotiates with foreign representatives, instructs US embassies and consulates that are abroad and serves as the principal advisor to the president on foreign policy – thank you Wikipedia!  See, I don’t know anything either!

THE FUNNIEST BIT OF THE DAY aka SOMETIMES WE’RE UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY

Apparently, today is Unique Talent Day – so everyone on the show was required to come up with one unique talent:

Kellie can list all the books of the Bible and since Kidd routinely make s her do it like a novelty act, it’s not all that impressive anymore – she can also roll her tongue and can pop her knuckles on command but that’s not very exciting …

J Si has the best Chewbacca impression ever – at least according to him

Kidd can make a random trilling noise with his cheek – then spent the next 5 minutes trying to convince everyone else in the room that could do it, that it wasn’t the same as his since his trill was – but really, it was the exact same thing which rendered Kidd’s “unique talent” null and void

Then it was Big Al’s turn – never one to be outdone – Big Al claimed that he can do any animal impression – now if we’d had any sense, we would have ended the bit here – but that just wouldn’t be us now would it?  And we wouldn’t have gotten this comedy gold

“Al – make a hummingbird sound” – hummmmmm

“okay – make a lion sound” –  hummmmmmm (the same as the hummingbird)

“what about a hyena” – hummmmmm

Are you sensing a trend?  But you have to give it to Al – he never said he could do it well!

“what about a chicken” – and here’s where the real comedy began – when it came to chicken – Al just knew he had it perfectly – well of course he did – because in his words, “Black … HELLO!!!” – yeah Al, because being black automatically makes you great at impersonating a chicken – but he might have been on to something because before I could think of a super smartass retort, Al began his chicken impersonation, complete with flapping wings and scratching the floor with his feet – then came the part of the show where I nearly peed on myself – full impersonations of a horse and elephant – complete with hand motions – except I’m not sure why because – HELLO … we’re on the RADIO!!   I only wish I had been quick enough to get video – but I’m sure it will come up again – why?  Because it was just too funny to pass up – in fact, I’m sure someone is working on a script right now that calls for a horse and elephant …

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Um, everyone in the office being introduced … everyone except me!!  First no t-shirt, now this – I’m beginning to feel like Kellie??  Should I be packing up my desk?

FLUSH THE FORMAT

California Love – Tupac

Ocean Avenue – Yellowcard

Country Grammar – Nelly

Free Your Mind – En Vogue

Beat It – Fall Out Boy

Justin Timberlake

Kiss My Sass – Cobra Starship

Mr. Bright Side – The Killers

Hungry Like the Wolf – Duran Duran

Hate It or Love It – 50 Cent

Let’s Go Crazy – Prince

My Humps – Fergie

HIZZLE

Ashlee Simpson had a baby boy

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are going to couples counseling

Madonna and Guy Ritchie have been granted their first divorce decree

BROWN BAG TURKEY RECIPE aka THE OOGIEST BREAK OF THE DAY

What should have been a simple “this is how you make a brown bag turkey” turned into “we can tell that Kidd has had a LOT of alone time lately” – Between “Let’s Get It On” playing in the background and more “Thatswhatshesaid” moments than we’ve had in a month – well, let’s just say that there was some talk about massaging and rubbing down with oil, reaching from behind and well – I’m getting ooged out just thinking about it – just listen to it on the kPod – if you dare …

I guess I should mention that you can now find the Brown Bag Turkey on RecipeZaar.com – but only if you searck for Kidd KraddOck – because even though Natalie S has been listening to the show for 13 years, she still doen’t know how to spell Kraddick – and oh yeah, “Salt is turkey’s enemy – blah blah blah”

Check out kiddlive.com for the details – but you basically take everything out of the turkey and put in a chopped up onion, carrot, a couple of stalks of celery and a few mashed cloves of garlic – rub the turkey all over with olive oil – stick the cover turkey into a brown paper bag and cook it at 375 degrees for 13-15 minutes per pound – then cross your fingers that your house doesn’t burn down … I KID, I KID!!!

ROBERT PATTINSON INTERVIEW

Make sure you go back and listen to the best prank in Kidd Kraddick in the Morning history aka “Sexy Jack as Robert Pattinson that could have potentially gotten Jack deported”- because the prank was going on at exactly the same time as this interview!

Robert Pattinson is currently the most famous Robert in the world – at least according to Google

He started off as a model but says he wasn’t very good

He didn’t know anything about the fan riots at the mall when they happened

Robert would love to date a fan because they have preconceived notions of him as Edward so he won’t have to work as hard  He has two older sisters but still doesn’t understand women

His sisters used to introduce him as a girl because he had long hair

Robert is surprised by the hype surrounding Twilight because he thought it would be a small indi film

Kidd ended the interview by offering to trade faces with Robert at anytime … awkward.

THE FIRST THANKSGIVING PLAY aka J SI LEARNS HOW TO DO ACCENTS

You’ll have to listen to the kPod to listen to hear how funny the accents are – I’ll just say that J Si has come a LONG way in his ability to impersonate a Brit – maybe it’s due to having Jack around – or maybe he figured out that Native American’s don’t have British accents!  And thanks to Kidd’s expert “I’m writing the bit during the break” skills, we got these classic one liners -

“I am looking for a friend of color and your gender is not important to me”

“I am not a dude, but I could be”

“I am Pocahontas – it mean playful”

“I too find you attractive in a really tick-off-my-father kind of way”

There was Kellie morphing between her Pocahontas character and herself and then there was Al as Ghettoman …

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – John Taylor of Duran Duran will play Christina Applegate’s boyfriend on Samantha Who?

#4 – The members of Blink 182 are talking again after Travis Barker’s plane crash

#3 – Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are going to couples counseling

#2 – Madonna and Guy Ritchie are almost officially divorced

#1 – Ashlee Simpson-Wentz had a baby boy named Bronx Mowgli Wentz aka BMW

WHAT ARE YOU DOING AT THE COURTHOUSE

Apparently Big Al went out to the Suburbia Courthouse to see what was going on out there – but basically it was nothing but traffic tickets … BO-RING!!!

The first guy was taking the blame for his cousin in an auto theft case – his cousin is only 17 and they would have locked him up til he was 21 – since he already had priors and was of age, they just gave him 4 years probation – am I the only one that sees something wrong with this picture?

The next girl was a law intern that wants to be a forensic pathologist – Kellie tried to give her a shout out – but surprise – she was a sistah!!

The next guy was going for drug possession – Al told him there was a dealer inside and that he should stay away from him

The next guy was there because he had been smoking marijuana – and it sounded like he was still smoking marijuana

The last guy was there on felony drug charges – possession of a controlled substance powder, meth and marijuana – he’s only 27 but is looking at 10+ years even though this is his first offense – he got into it through his cousin and got into it because of the money – he says he knew right from wrong which is why he is owning up to his mistake – he says his mom is disappointed and he’s disappointed in himself – it sounds like he’s learned his lesson, but that’s a hard lesson to learn!

MOVIE FIRST WORD

Bolt – getting great ratings and the lead voice is done by Miley Cyrus so your kids will probably love it

Twilight not getting great reviews but it doesn’t matter – your teen is in love with Edward and she’ll probably go see it 10 times!

BRITISH INCREDULITY

Turduckin – the Thanksgiving tradition of Turkey, Duck and Chicken – Jack saw it and said, “That’s incredible”

KIDD THE NAME DROPPER

I’m going to a party with Good Charlotte Friday night and going to see Dr. Phil in L.A. this weekend

ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

Josh Tucker – Who?  Exactly.

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID QUOTE OF THE DAY

“i would love to role play with Andrew” – Kellie

THING I LEARNED ON TODAY’S SHOW

People always ask why Kellie has her own room and today we finally learned why – so Kidd can turn off her mic whenever she’s talking – like today when we were doing the embarrassing parent stories and Kellie continues to tell stories about her childhood – and how every kid should have a ditch growing up …

TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN

“That’s some good white people music right there y’all” – Al talking about Coldplay

WHY YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW

The difference between a recession and a depression

WORDS I NEVER THOUGHT I’D HEAR COME FROM ANDREW’S MOUTH

“Blacula – this is a GREAT movie!  And then there’s the sequel – Blacula 2″ – Little Andrew – I’m telling you, this kid is WEIRD!!

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

If you ask someone to go see a concert or event with you, you have the obligation to say “hey, do you want to go see Coldplay with me?  I’ve got 4^th row seats/the seats aren’t that great/they’re decent seats, etc – because if your friend is a Seat Snob like Big Al, they’ll be pissed when they get to the concert and find out the seats suck

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie only stayed at the Coldplay concert for an hour

Big Al had 3 people show up to his impromptu party

J Si’s mad because his friends think his sister is hot

Shanon wants Baby Bottle Beer Pong for her sister’s baby shower

Sexy Jack would have dumped his girlfriend to go see Coldplay

THANKS KIDD KRADDICK FOR THROWING ME UNDER THE BUS

“Have you ever seen Paul with the same girl twice?” – Kidd

“Yeah – all the time” – J Si

Aww – you mean each girl Paul has gone

HIZZLE

Enrique Iglesias is homeless – at least for now

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are officially over

Hugh Jackman is the sexiest man alive

Jamie Foxx wants to be the black James Bond

THE FUNNIEST BREAK OF THE DAY

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that the movie “Twilight” opens tomorrow – and since most places will have a midnight showing, we thought we’d send Little Andrew to see if he can find a woman – no big deal, right?  We’re sure to get a few laughs when Andrew tries to hit on the girls who have been waiting in line for your s to see Robert Pattinson as Edward – but come on – you knew better than to think that it would just be that, right? What if we have Andrew pretend that he’s a vampire – after all, as all said “Dracula is the ultimate player” – but Andrew is FAR (and I mean REALLY, REALLY FAR) from player status – and will be even less so since he’s going to be completely in character wearing a cape, fangs and black hair – so we role played with him so that he could get the vampire dialect down – we started simple with, “I am Dracula” – except that it sounded like a cross between a really bad Italian accent and The Count from Sesame Street – then he tried to ad lib, “Are you here to see Dracula in the movie Twilight” – except Dracula isn’t in the movie – and everyone in the line is there to see Twilight – stick to the script Andrew!!   Then he got a little bold and busted out with, “Do you have a young single stupid friend?” – yeah, that’ll get the girls – then he tried to go the comedy route, “Can I take you out after the movie – perhaps for a Bloody Mary” – lowest form of comedy … the pun – and in order to prepare for the girl who has a boyfriend, Little Andrew’s response, “Does he have a jiggly belly like mine?” – when all else fails, go the honesty route

BILLBOARD TOP 5

5.  Twilight – Soundtrack

4.  Thr33 Ringz – T-Pain
3.  Now 29 – Various Artists
2.  David Archuleta – David Archuleta
1.  Fearless – Taylor Swift

LOOK AT SHANON BRINGING BACK GOOD MEMORIES

we used to refer to Al as the N.U.B. aka No Usable Bits – why did we ever stop using that name?  clearly it still applies – Underwater Bubble Blowing Songs anyone??

YET ANOTHER REASON AL ONLY GETS THE BLACK CELEBRITY STORIES

After talking about how celebrities often date celebrities because they’re set up by their publicists, the question was asked “Which celebrity would you date” – hey Al, name one single celebrity … “Scarlett Johansson – married, Roslyn Sanchez – engaged , Jennifer Hudson – engaged, Halle Berry – serious relationship, Britney Murphy – married, Carmen Electra – engaged, Salma Hayek – serious relationship,  Jessica Alba – married, Gillian Anderson – wtf???  Christina Aguilera – married.  Seriously?  Al couldn’t name one single celebrity?  What about the one celebrity we talk about every.single.day.  Britney Spears anyone?

MOST HUMILIATING THING THAT HAPPENED BEFORE YOU WERE 13

I am already laughing before I even type this because Kellie’s story includes a ditch – when Kellie was a kid, they had a ditch back behind the house – and Kellie, her brother Ryan and her neighbor Danny Boy were playing in the ditch and it had been snowing – when it was time to go inside, Ryan and Danny Boy climbed out of the ditch but Kellie couldn’t get herself out – so Danny Boy ran inside to get his dad and out came Danny Sr and Danny Boy’s brothers and they formed a human chain to lift Kellie out of the ditch – she was so embarrassed that as soon as she got out she ran into her house

Jack’s moment was when his shorts ripped when he was going up the stairs at school – he was wearing tighty whiteys and because Jack was a fat kid (his words, not mine) – and his MASSIVE bottom ended up exposed for the world to see – again his words, not mine – and as if that story wasn’t funny enough, hearing Jack referring to himself as Big Bottom Jack – HI-larious!!

Al’s moment occurred on his first day of fifth grade – he was the only black kid in the class at his super expensive private school and everyone was supposed to go into their class when they called your name – well as they stood around – everyone’s name was called except Al’s – Al had been left back in the 4^th grade but decided to go with the 5^th graders on the off chance that they would call out his name – Al got left back and was hoping that no one would remember

Kidd’s moment is one that we’ve alluded to several times and involves his childhood nickname – Kidd was about 12 years old and had just been picked up from baseball practice (for a team where he never actually played) and he and his dad stopped by the store on the way home – there Kidd was walking through the store wearing his jeans and his metal cleats carrying his big bag of baseball bats (that he didn’t want anyone to steal from the car) and he ran into hot Christy Nichols, her hot friend Bev McCarty and Christy’s ugly sister (which is why he can’t remember her name) – Kidd’s dad called out to him and said “let’s go”- but Kidd ignored him and kept talking to the girls – that is until Kidd’s one piece jumpsuit wearing dad came down the aisle calling, “Doodle … Doodle” – yeah, it’s a little hard to look cool when your nickname is Doodle!

Shanon (who shockingly only came up with one humiliating moment) was in 3^rd grade in Miss Harvey’s class – Shanon’s daily appearance included her Flintstone’s plastic glasses and a pirate patch to help correct her lazy eye – did I mention that the lenses had 2 different prescriptions and that one of them completely doubled the size of Shanon’s eye when you looked at her – but that day, in addition to her normal every day look Shanon had a cold – and she got up to get a Kleenex – she walked t the back of the room and was walking in circles because she couldn’t find the Kleenex – all the other kids in the class kept saying “look behind you, look behind you” – but not because the Kleenex was behind her – because she had toilet paper hanging out of her pants from when she was in the bathroom earlier – I thought that only happened on tv

And then the reason for the Bean and Cheese Production of the week …

When J Si was 4 years old, he developed an intense fear of clowns when he was sprayed in the face with water by a clown – so when he was 11, he was at a birthday party in the park it was for a younger kid, so J Si and his friends were off to the side hanging out – J Si saw the clown and decided that he would just say away – but somehow, the clown sensed J Si’s fear and came over to approach him –  the clown grabbed J Si from behind and was kinda tousling around with him – he continued to bother J Si and the more J SI protested, the more aggressive the clown became – and when J Si didn’t respond positively,  the clown began to tickle J Si – at this point, J Si is not only scared, but he’s starting to get really mad so he’s yelling at the clown, “stop – please stop” – but the clown won’t let up, so the only thing J Si could think to do was fall on the ground in a ball in an effort to get away from the clown – but I guess the clown thought it wa sall part of the game because the white-faced, green haired, purple contact wearing clown continued to tickle J Si – to the point where he peed his pants while he was lying on the floor – when he realized what had happened, J Si started crying in front of his friends and then just stayed on the floor hoping no one would notice – J Si’s mom kept telling him to get up and J Si refused – he laid there until things died down and then he tried to sneak off – except there were people taking pictures and suddenly J Si hears someone say “J Si did you pee your pants?” – poor J Si was so embarrassed, he ran to the car and locked himself in the car – I know I should feel bad about this story – but I am willing to pay any amount of money to see the pictures of J Pee!!!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Daniel Craig says it’s time for a black James Bond

#4 – Chris Martin of Coldplay is hinting about retiring soon

#3 – Britney has a new song on her new CD about Adnon Ghalib

#2 – Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got into a huge fight because Lindsay was dancing with her ex, Calum Best

#1 – Benji Madden and Paris Hilton are officially over

IF YOU CAN’T FIND ANYONE ELSE TO GO …

Kellie unwillingly went to go see Coldplay last night with her friend Haven but ended up not staying for the whole show even though tickets were selling for about $1000 a piece – Kellie tried to convince her friend that the ticket would be wasted on her because she ’s not a fan – Kidd felt Haven’s pain because he had asked Kellie to go see the Eagles with him and Kellie’s response was, “well, if you want me to – if you can’t get anybody else to go with you, I’ll go” – you can imagine where this went – especially when Kidd whipped out Kellie voice -**cause I’m a Diva, Diva** so Kidd busts his you know what to find someone else to go so that Kellie doesn’t have to – then when he found someone, Kellie said, “are you sure you don’t want me to go?  Cause I’ll go if you want me too” – well by that time, Kidd already found someone!!  Just make sure you go to the kPod and listen to Kidd’s re-enactment of Kellie calling 911 because she was so bored at the concert – worth.your.time.

RYAN HEDDER FROM ONE REPUBLIC

Was going to go into acting but picked music because it’s way more impactful

The seven artists he will collaborate with are Leona Lewis, Beyonce, James Morrison, Ray LaMontagne , Rihanna, Chris Cornell and Kelly Clarkson

Ryan’s favorite artist of last year was Imogene Heap

He loves Tears for Fears and Peter Gabrielle is his most favorite artist ever

THANKS KIDD KRADDICK FOR THROWING ME UNDER THE BUS, PART 2

Kidd is pretty open about the fact that he has a weekly poker game with his buddies – and since Kidd is freaking rich (at least in my mind), I’m thinking he’s throwing down some serious cash – but why is it necessary for him to throw his buddy Texas Rangers pitcher Kenny Rogers under the bus (with Kenny Rogers’ ‘The Gambler’ playing in the background)?  Apparently Kenny took Kidd’s entire stash of cash and then Kidd comes on the radio telling all his business – “Maybe he doesn’t want you telling all his gambling business”, Kellie said – “What next, you gonna talk about the hookers?”   actually, Kellie said prostitutes – but hookers sounds funnier – you know, like hookers and blow?  Hahahaha!!!  I’m funny!

AWKWARD ANDREW MOMENT OF THE DAY

Andrew randomly announced that he doesn’t have to sit at the kids table for Thanksgiving this year – because his brother is gone to the military and his grandpa died – um, okay …

KIDD’S “I’M GAY” MOMENT

The flagrant waving of his hands during Barry Manilow’s version of Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up”

SEXY JACK’S QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I’m proud to be English right now” – while watching Kidd dance to Barry Manilow

THAT KRADDICK/RASBERRY CHEMISTRY

The Break Up Phone Call – Kidd as Nick Jonas and Kellie as Taylor Swift – O.M.G. – HI-larious!!! Go to the kPod!!

THE THING KELLIE SAID THAT MADE ME LAUGH

“You cannot convince me you’re not tootin’” – Kellie in response to Al’s Underwater Bubble Blowing Bit

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie told Kidd “I hope I can keep my determination going. in bed”

Big Al won’t be running down the hall during every commercial break

J Si took Kinsey out for a romantic dinner and ended up at Taco Bell

Shanon saw a fax that might make people in the room sweat

CEASE AND DESIST

It looks like it really IS all fun and games until someone gets deported – all I’m saying is that there was a mysterious fax on the machine when we got here this morning from a valid law firm – and it had all the boys’ names and addresses and mentioned an incident at the mall … did I hear someone scream STUNT!!!!!

HIZZLE

Dallas Austin says he is NOT working with Kim from “The Real Housewives of Atlanta”

Sacha Baron Cohen was forcibly removed from the set of “Medium” after he disrupted the set

Diddy will appear on 2 episodes of “CSI: Miami”

Britney is feeling restrained because she’s under her dad’s control

TEAM BENJI

Yesterday we reported that Paris Hilton was seen with her ex Stavros Niarchos – and today, Kidd was waving his “Team Benji” flag high – just saying …

THE HOSE IS BETTER

Once upon a time, Al had a job as the guy who sat in his little lawn chair under an umbrella with his clicker and counted cars – - he doesn’t know why he was counting cars, he just knows that he was just collecting his $5 an hour – but then he was replaced by the rubber hose that counts the cars when you run over it – good story.  Btu we did get this stellar line from Kidd, “Kellie, you ever been replaced by hos?” – BWWAAAHHHH!!

LOVE LETTERS TO KELLIE

• If you’re staying with your loser drinking and drugging boyfriend “because you love him”, you just have to go through it
• If your wife walks 10 steps ahead of you and doesn’t acknowledge you in front of your friends, you need to conform to the
• If your immediate response is to “pack a bag and move out” – well …
• If your neighbor is sending you flowers and checking on you when your husband is out of town, you need to tell your husband about it
• If your mom set you up with a blind date on Thanksgiving because she hates your boyfriend – and you’re bringing your boyfriend – well then you need to find a date for your blind date

HOW DO YOU SPELL PWWWWWW (that’s supposed to be the sound horses make)

I know you’ve been waiting for it – of course you have been – cause WE’VE been waiting on it – finally, the Kidd Kraddick in the Morning Klothing Line – to be honest, it’s technically a t-shirt line – because so far it’s just t-shirts and I haven’t heard any plans to expand it to any other articles of clothing – but still, it’s here – and the t-shirts are pretty cool – a couple of cool Ed Hardy-like designs and then a few cool ones with show sayings on them – like “Shout Out”, “Random Man” and “ME ME ME” – and I thought Iorange55 had a good point, “does it say on the back of the shirt ‘it’s a radio show stupid!’” – cause if you don’t listen to the show, will you know what “Random Man” means?  Unless of course you think it’s a personal description!  But the big issue with the t-shirts is … well, Andrew – can someone PLEASE explain to me why Little Andrew has a t-shirt and I don’t?  not only does Andrew have his own “What are you TAAALKING about t-shirt” – it also has his picture in – even Kidd, Kellie, J Si and Al don’t have their pictures on the shirts – and don’t even get me started about Shanon – she is REALLY ticked she doesn’t have a t-shirt – and while I understand her frustration – it is a little hard to spell the sound that a horse makes when it neighs – what is the shirt supposed to say? “MEE-HAW (insert horse neighing here)” – yeah, not so much!  A much better option would be a shirt for me – how great would it be to have a t-shirt that said “I’m gonna punch you in the face” – or one of the many variations I have on the phrase – yes, I predict greatness with that phrase – but instead we got “It’s Random Man” – am I bitter?  Yeah – what of it?  Just shut up about it – before I have to punch you in the face

J SI – YOU NEED NEW FRIENDS

J Si and Paul went to the basketball game the other day and as they were pulling up to the arena parking lot, Paul says, “hey, you gotta hear this new song I want you to listen to”  Paul always has the good music so J Si was down – so Paul rolls down the window, and blasts the stereo – all of a sudden, J Si hears “I TRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” – next thing J Si knows, there is a group of girls walking by and Paul is hanging out the window yelling “that’s him singing” and pointing to J Si – then he proceeds to play the “I TRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY” part over and over and over – no, J Si – that didn’t look crazy at all – you and your BFF rolling in front of the basketball arena listening to a slow jam – not.gay.at.all.

YOU’RE DOING WHAT??? aka THE OOGIEST BIT OF THE DAY

I have to give Al credit for at least making the effort to bring something to show – but that’s where it ends – the credit stops here. And as much as I’d like to, I can’t even give him an A for effort – because after Bathtime with Bartendica, Al was told more bathroom bits – especially those that include bathtubs – but that didn’t stop Big Al – noooooo – so today was Wiidnesday and Al thought he would come up with a game for us to play to give away the Wii – so he thought he would sing the song … by blowing bubbles … underwater … I know, I know – but it’s Big Al – now, knowing that Al spent half of yesterday’s show in the bathroom with tummy issues – and knowing what it sounds like when someone blows bubbles with their mouth – what do you think Al blowing bubbles to the beat of a song sounded like – and then add him moaning and groaning – I have one word for you – OOGEY!  I would give Al the benefit of the doubt but as Lucy pointed out, “Al doesn’t know how NOT to be oogey” and Megg decided that “Al is just gross” – and that doesn’t even address the fact that there is absolutely no freaking way that anyone could have determined what the song was by a bunch of underwater tooting noises – seriously??  hey Al, LisaNJ had an idea for you, “Al might as well play music using the stuff in his fridge… it couldn’t be worse that the tub bit” – Lord, Please be safe – oh, I’m sorry – I got confused.  I thought we were listing all the things that Al attempted and failed – I don’t know – maybe I’m being too hard on Al – after all, in response to Al’s failed bit – Kidd came up with the stellar, “I’m gonna scratch the hits on this piece of paper” – I mean, who couldn’t recognize “Beethoven’s Fifth” after a 5 second rumpled paper clip – oh, this show just makes me laugh

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Drama between Gary Busey and Jeff Conaway on Celebrity Rehab

#4 – Suri Cruise is the World’s Most Powerful Toddler

#3 – Katy Perry says her boobs are real

#2 – Sacha Baron-Cohen was thrown off the set of “Medium” after disrupting the set

#1 – Britney’s documentary will air on MTV on November 30th

ITUNES TOP 5

5.  Womanizer – Britney Spears
4.  Hot N Cold – Katy Perry
3.  Live Your Life – T.I.
2.  Love Story – Taylor Swift
1.  If I Were a Boy – Beyonce

WHEN CANCER HITS CLOSE TO HOME

It’s always scary when someone you love is really sick and the only thing that might be worse is the anticipation of said sickness – a few weeks ago, Kinsey found a cyst on her breast – as if finding a lump wasn’t stressful enough, Kinsey has a family history of breast cancer and no insurance – not really sure what she was up against, she headed to the doctor who felt the mass and immediately sent her to an oncologist – of course at that point, they got really concerned and Kinsey began to think long term – not knowing what they were up against, Kinsey started to seriously consider having a full mastectomy if it turned out that she had breast cancer – of course before any definite plans were made, they needed to do a biopsy – and as luck would have it, the biopsy was scheduled for the day that the show left for Kidd’s Kids – so J Si wouldn’t even be able to go with Kinsey to the appointment – so began the wait for the results – all weekend long – talk about a sobering trip – Monday afternoon before they left for the trip home, Kinsey still hadn’t heard back but at least J Si would be there with Kinsey when she got the results back – and finally after what must have been the longest wait known to man, the news – and everything is good – Kinsey got the all clear!!

THE MASCARA ALERT YOU NEVER SAW COMING

We took a call from listener Lacey who had just heard J Si tell Kinsey’s story – Lacey is the 26 year old mom of 3 who was in the car on the way to the hospital for her own biopsy – she’s also 9 weeks pregnant – she was terrified heading to the hospital but hearing Kinsey’s positive outcome helped her have a more positive attitude – and we all know how being positive can make a difference – I think the thing that got me about her story was just how you never know how one thing can change your entire outlook – especially on a show like ours when we spend so much time yukking it up – the one time out of the day that w get serious, it still ended up with a positive effect on someone – Lacey, our prayers are with you!

IF YOU CAN’T GET IN TOUCH WITH GOD, JUST CALL KIDD

Kidd decided that he would take credit for Kinsey’s good news because while he was in New York, he stopped by St Patrick’s Cathedral and said a prayer for Kinsey – and of course that would make him closer to God than anyone else (please note my sarcasm font) – so I’m sure it’s all due to Kidd that Kinsey is still in good health – and since Kidd, aka God’s Angel, is so close to God, I’m sure that’s why he offered to cover the cost of Kinsey’s reconstructive mastectomy surgery, should she have needed it – because J Si is still a baby DJ and only earns a baby DJ salary, so it would be tough for he and Kinsey to come up with the roughly $6k for the surgery – but again, thank God for Kidd – because they’ve since found out that the surgery actually starts in the $55k range – and there’s NO way that J Si and Kinsey could cover that – but that Kidd Kraddick, not only does he have that direct line to God, but I hear he’s also rich!!  But thankfully, no one will have to come out of pocket any money because I’m sure we can count on Kidd to continue using his direct line to God to pray for Kinsey’s continued health – (again with the sarcasm font)

EWWWW MOMENT OF THE TODAY

Kidd talking about sneezing into your hand when you don’t have a Kleenex – then what do you do with your hand – and then what if someone walks up to you and says “Gimme 10″ – um, when was the last time you heard someone say “Gimme 10″? someone has been watching Al’s Good Times DVDs

KIDD’S “JEALOUS JACK” MOMENT

“Is Kidd’s Kids just another thing that makes us better than England” – Kidd is bound and determined to force Jack to denounce his country – I’m not sure why – he’ll still have that Sexy accent – and isn’t that all we really care about?

KKITM PRANK OF THE DAY

If you’re a guy, go to Kiddnation.com and replace your profile picture with a hot girl – them leave Big Al a flirty comment – then, once he’s left you a flirty comment, change your picture back to your own and Al’s comment will still be there – or better yet – set up a date with him – and then laugh when a guy shows up for a date with Al instead of a girl! BWAAHHHHH!!!!

PSYHCO SHANON’S PSYCHO MOMENT OF THE DAY

She named her dog Oprah Harpo Winfrey Quirky Princess Murphy – enough said.

“WAH WAH DEAD DAD”

Shanon’s response to Kidd for playing the Dead Dad Card when J Si teased him about his childhood nickname, Doodle

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie’s daughter turned into a grown up in 4 days

Big Al is scared of people on the street at 3:45am

J Si and Kinsey are going to Kellie’s for Thanksgiving

Shanon dropped her bagel even after it fell on the ground and bounced against a tire

HIZZLE

Heather Locklear has been charged with DUI

Paris Hilton has been hanging with her ex

Katt Williams is under mental evaluation

Miley Cyrus is not dead

YOU CAN PICK UP YOUR EXPRESS TICKET TO HELL RIGHT HERE

People who rent a wheelchair at Disney World with the sole purpose of getting preferential treatment in the parks

‘SUP LADIES

Even though J Si is all but married to Kinsey, I think he still thinks he could pull off the “ladies man” thing – but clearly he can’t – otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten busted like he did – J Si spent most of the weekend flirting with some of the Kidd’s Kids (cause that’s how he rolls) – and of course when you’re a pre-tween and J Si throws you a little “’sup ladies”, you tend to get a little giddy – well J Si made a special connection with 7 year old Abby and she became his Disney girlfriend – too bad he forgot to mention it to Kinsey – I don’t think she was too happy when she overheard J Si talking about his girlfriend Abby ON THE CELL PHONE!! Apparently when J Si and Miss Abby were hanging out, J Si’s phone “accidentally” dialed Kinsey and she heard the whole thing! Good job J Si – haven’t you ever seen the movies ***shakes head*** for future reference, here’s a lesson I learned from Kidd and Al way back in the day – Deny, deny, deny – and then LIE!!!

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY A LITTLE EARLY, GIRL”

People say that we give Al a hard time – but come on – he provides us with so much material!! You know you’re desperate when you’ve tried to find a date on Match.com, Yahoo Personals, eHarmony and now, well you’ve decided to look for women on Kiddnation – not because you’re looking for someone who has a common love for the show – but because you’re Big Al and the only option you have left is to date listeners – but not in a “I met this really nice girl who is a listener” type way – more of a “I’m just gonna leave a message on the Kiddnation page of every hot listener and see if I get any hits” – that’s right, Big Al went through all of the people who have signed up to be his friend on Kiddnation and left comments for every hot girl over the age of 20 – can you say OOGEY??? We went through the comments and here is just a sampling of the “comments” he left

“hey girl – you’re kinds hot – do you have a sister?”

“girl, you’re kinda fine – would you like for me to take you to Primo’s? you can have anything on the menu?”

“I see that you’re wearing my 2 favorite colors – short and tight – would you like to go out with me in my limo? Well, it’s not really MY limo – It belongs to my lover “best friend”, Redneck Steve and I just hang out with him because he’s really rich – but i used to own a limo – have you ever heard how I got started in the limo business”

“mmm mmm mmm – you look fine in the dress – do you also look good in a bikini? Because if you do – I’d like to ask you out for June 12^th, to go out on my friend Andy’s boat – it’s called the See-Lut – but don’t let the name affect your decision”

Ok – well maybe that’s not what the comments say – but I had to use my imagination – because when we called Al out for hitting on every girl over the age of 20, he went into his account and deleted all the comments – loser – I don’t know how Al thought he could get away with this and none of us find out – oh, because he’s Big Al – duh.

“THIS IS AS BAD AS MY MOM DYING”

Kidd’s response to Kidd’s teasing him about the Chargers losing to the Steelers – really? Are the Chargers losing that big of a deal?

BILLBOARD #1S

Pop 1001 – Hot N Cold – Katy Perry
Hot R&B/Hip Hop Songs – Miss Independent – Ne-Yo
Hot Digital Tracks – Heartless – Kanye West -
Triple A – Lost! – Coldplay -
Hot Country Songs – Love Story – Taylor Swift

GET OVER IT

From Kellie – Gabe is just not that into me – GET OVER IT!!

From J Si – to the lady that wouldn’t let him back up to sing karaoke after Total Eclipse of the Heart – GET OVER IT!!

From Al – Yes, I still have my Barack sign up in my yard – GET OVER IT!!

To my husband’s ex-wife – I’m 13 years younger than he is and you’re jealous – GET OVER IT!!

To my son – you’re not the only one to ever go through a divorce – GET OVER IT!!

To people who think guys and girls can’t be friends – GET OVER IT!!

To everyone who makes fun of me for voting for McCain – Kidd cut her off – HAHAHA!!!

To everyone – I’m 27 and live with my parents – GET OVER IT!!

To my ex who pays $800 a month and $5000 in arrears – GET OVER IT!!

To skinny girls – big women are beautiful – GET OVER IT!!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Isis from American’s Next Top Model is getting his/her sex change surgery for free

#4 – Brandy and Tyrese are dating – we think

#3 – Fall Out Boy had to perform without Pete Wentz because he’s on baby watch

#2 – The Cheetah Girls have been pulled from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

#1 – Paris Hilton was seen kissing and hugging on her ex-boyfriend

NEW MUSIC TUESDAY

David Cook- David Cook
I am … Sasha Fierce – Beyonce
Safe Trip Home – Dido
Day & Age – The Killers
808s & Heartbreak – Kanye West

THE SHOW THAT’S EASILY DISTRACTED

One of the perks (well maybe not for our waistline, but still) of working here is that people are constantly bringing us food – and today when someone arrived with food boxes, it instantly brought the show to a complete stop

“What kind of food is it?” “Is it donuts?” “I think it’s pizza” “I want pizza” “Mabe it’s pizza flavored donuts” “mmm, would pizza flavored donuts be sweet?” “like sweet meat?” – if we get Adderall for the entire show, do you think we’ll get a bulk discount?

WHEN DOES “YOU’RE BANNED” REALLY MEAN “YOU’RE BANNED”?

It’s been almost a week since the big Robert Pattinson at the mall prank and while Jack doesn’t think he’s completely free and clear – he’s a little less nervous than he was last week – of course he’s not quite ready to head back to the mall though – none of them are – Jack, J Si and Al seem to think that the mall security team is going to be sitting at the mall entrance just waiting for them to come back – Al is even afraid to go into his beloved Saks for fear the police will have the place staked out – come on Al – don’t you think your personal shopper over at Saks will have your back? Surely the fat commission she’s going to get off of you is more important than her calling the police! Kidd tried to explain to them that technically, they hadn’t broken any laws – and it’s not like they took pictures of the guys and have them up like America’s Most Wanted in every store – I say we send them back and try another prank – who does J Si look like? STUNT!!

ANGELS WATCHING OVER US

7 years ago, J SI’s Uncle Ricky passed away at the age of 33 – J Si was only 18 when Ricky died and it hit him really hard – he was very close to his uncle who was not only J Si’s best friend, but also like a dad – J Si went into a depression after his death and basically stayed in his room for 2 months – anytime his friends called or came over, his parents just told them that J Si wasn’t home – that was until one day, J Si’s best friend Mike came over and basically forced his way into J Si’s room and told him to snap out of it – he reminded J Si that what he was doing was not how Ricky would have wanted him to live and that he needed to get it together and continue on with his life – after that, J Si started a tradition that would in a way honor Ricky and his life – every year on the anniversary of his death, J Si goes to watch the sunset and listens to the song “Wish You Were Here” by Incubus – just before Ricky died, J Si had introduced him to Incubus and his uncle told j SI that “Wish You Were Here” was his favorite song – yesterday was the anniversary of Ricky’s death and at the time the sun was setting, J Si was on a plane – he was starting to feel a little down because he knew he was going to miss the sunset – until he raised the window shade and realized that he could see the sun setting from the plane – not only that, but in the midst of all the clouds – J Si looked out the window and suddenly felt closer to Ricky than he had ever felt before – watching the sunset in the midst of all those clouds was almost like being with Ricky in Heaven – at that moment, J Si turned on his iPod and somehow, out of 500 songs, the first song that came up was “Wish You Were Here” – the weird thing was that the iPod was on shuffle mode – when J Si got home, he completed his tradition by heading to the roof of his apartment building – he laid on the roof of the building, played his Incubus song and just laid there looking up to the sky thinking about Ricky – I know that most of the time, J Si comes across as a 7 year old boy – and that’s because for the most part, he is! but inside that silly exterior is a really sweet and sensitive man – he doesn’t come out often – because to be honest, he doesn’t really have to – but I think this story goes to show the influence that Ricky had on J Si and I know he’d be proud of the man that J Si has become

IF THERE’S NO OUTBREAK – I’M FINE

I don’t know why this makes me laugh so hard, but it does – it’s like the joke that never get’s old – Big Al is feeling a little under the weather – he’s having some stomach issues and apparently he’s been down and out for a couple of days – Al says he doesn’t know what is causing his illness, but I think we all know – right? The Herp of course – either that or sided effects from his meds – I’m not sure why Al is so embarrassed – according to the commercials, half the people in the world have the Herp – and Al keeps trying to give us that line that we’re destroying his dating relationships – but we’ve found a way around that – it’s called Big Al’s Herp Club for Men – get it? Like Hair Club for men – Al could start his own club that will be open to all – there’s no embarrassment – no hiding – just people who are willing to accept Big Al and his virus for who they are – BWAAAHHHH!!! Oh, I crack myself up – so what if Al didn’t think it was that funny – it’s not really about him – Big Al said that when people ask him why he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he’ll tell them this is why – um, I have news for you Al – there are a LOT of reasons you’re still single – this isn’t one of them

MOM MOMENT OF THE SHOW

Kellie talking about the mom that pitched a fit so her daughter could get her autograph book signed by the Disney Princess – the line was supposed to close at 6pm and the handlers informed the mom (at 5:50pm) that they were closing the line – mom pitched a fit and guess who got a Disney Princess autograph – hey, sometimes a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do!

OOGEY MOMENT OF THE DAY

Thinking about pictures of heartthrobs on your underwear – and Kidd referring to a big picture of Shia on Kinsey’s LeBeouf – um, ew.

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID QUOTE OF THE DAY

“Faster Bambi, faster” – which of course stemmed from the discussion about whether or not Bambi was a boy or girl and why he (or she) had a best friend named Thumper

TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN

“It is to us, we’re dudes” – talking about “Bambo” – Kidd’s male version of the movie Bambi ::rolls eyes::

HIZZLE

Jessica Biel is designing purses for Justin Timberlake’s clothing line

Debbie Matenopolous found out her husband is divorcing her on the Internets

Kanye West was arrested for allegedly assaulting a paparazzo

Paula Abdul may be leaving American Idol

ROUNDTABLE WITH KIDD’S KIDS PARENTS

There is so much going on during the trip and so many kids on the trip, that we can’t possibly talk to everyone – but Kidd took some time to talk to a few of the parents about their kids and what this trip means to them …

First we talked to Elizabeth’s mom, Tiffany – Elizabeth is 5 years old – she has Cystic Fibrosis, asthma, has had a kidney transplant and has had 40 abdominal surgeries – did I mention she’s only 5 years old?  Because Elizabeth has had so many surgeries, her stomach is completely scarred up and she never let’s anyone see her “warrior marks” – but at Disney, she was just like every other kid – so for the first time, she wasn’t worried about anyone seeing her stomach and wore her fairy outfit – Elizabeth has been in the hospital for 18 of the last 24 months and has been cooped up in the room and not really allowed to go anywhere or do anything – so to be at Disney and allowed to do pretty much anything – well,  Tiffany said it was like 5 days of complete freedom to a kid who’s never really had it!!

Tyson’s daughter is 5 and has cancer – he was just glad to see her getting to do stuff normal kids get to do – he said the best part of the trip was when she got to meet Ariel (from The Little Mermaid)- because when she does have hair, it’s red like Ariel’s

Travis has Cystic Fibrosis – and as many problems as he has with his condition, after seeing the kids in wheelchairs, he said the trip was about the other kids

Missy’s son is Coby – Coby has Muscular Dystrophy and is barely tall enough to ride the big rides – but it didn’t stop him from heading to Space Mountain first thing – Coby’s mom, Missy, said that this trip has really made Coby come out of his shell – she said he’s been doing his own thing which is out of the norm for him -and another kid who puts everyone before himself – when they got the Disney packet in the mail, Coby told his mom “the girls are gonna be so excited” – talking about his sisters – Missy wanted to thank everyone for the trip – she said that she was surprised that EVERYTHING was provided – every single thing they thought about was already taken care of … Mickey Mouse ears, autograph books, ponchos, backpacks – everything was taken care of

Marcos, who we talked about on Friday, was in the hospital a week before the trip – there was some concern that he might not be well enough to go on the trip – and instead of being upset about the possibility of missing the trip, he told his dad that maybe someone else can take my place – wow.

A TRIP FULL OF FIRSTS

Tucker is non verbal and has Hunter’s Disease – he’s missing an enzyme which has left him with several issues, among them being non-verbal – but that didn’t stop him from expressing his enjoyment at The Lion King show – he grunted his approval throughout the show and laughed endlessly – his mom said that she has been trying to capture Tucker laughing for a while now and thanks to Kidd’s Kids, she has that now!

Jacob is blind and Kidd and Al took him on his first escalator ride – yeah, I wouldn’t trust those 2 to take ME on the escalator – and I can see!!

Steven lost his first tooth on the trip … and then swallowed it while eating a hot dog – Steven was distraught because he just knew that The Tooth Fairy wouldn’t get his tooth – but his dad reassured him that she wouldn’t have any problems – and just to be sure, Steven’s mom – ahem – is on the search for the tooth – now that’s a mother’s love!!

INTRODUCING MICKEY AND MINNIE MOUSE

If you’ve never been to Disney World, you may not know how hard it is to get a picture with Mickey – it’s not like he’s just hanging out at the entrance – you usually have to go to Mickey’s House to get a picture – and he’s not there all the time – so it is a HUGE deal to get Mickey and Minnie to come to a private breakfast on the last day of the show – and an even bigger deal that every single family got an opportunity to meet Mickey and Minnie and get their picture taken with them

THERE’S LAUGHTER IN JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING

Chloe is 8 years old and has Spina Bifida – she is in a wheelchair but has braces on her legs so she can get out and walk a little bit – her dad wrote her a letter and talked about all that she’s come though – how that before she was born, they didn’t know the extent of her condition – and that through all of her surgeries (even when she was in a cast from her waist to her toes) she always had a smile on her face – they were told that she would never walk but she proved them wrong by walking with her hot pink arm crutches – he said that Chloe is proof that prayer is real and that it works – and that their family is stronger because of their struggles with Chloe – I was able to hold it together through the story until the part where he said that at the Fantasmic show, he had Chloe on his shoulders  so that she could see – then Chloe leaned down and whispered in her dad’s ear, “Daddy I’ve got the best seat in the house” – UGH.  where are the Kleenex when you need them?  So at the end of the letter, Kidd asked Chloe, “Is there anything you want to say to your dad?” – she responded with “I didn’t hear him” – BWAHHHHH!!!  It turns out that she was talking about Kidd, not her dad’s letter – but it still brought a smile to my face after the tears!

Gunnar was born at 23 weeks – he had a major head bleed and only weighed a pound when he was born – he was smaller than a Barbie, weighed less than a can of soup and had to use a cotton ball as his first diaper – in his short life, he’s had 80 surgeries – Gunnar’s mom, Danielle, is a single mom and says she would never have been able to give him a trip like this – she says watching him at Disney took her breath away and that Gunnar has taught her how to truly love and appreciate the small things in life

SCARE THERAPY

Sometimes as much as you want to do some good, it just turns out bad – J Si scared Torrance so bad, he made her cry – she got scared because she didn’t know him – so he tried to hug her to make it better but then she freaked out and jumped into her stroller – what J Si didn’t know was that was the first time she’d ever gotten into the stroller by herself – J Si took credit for it since he was the one that scared her out of her mind and maybe there was some good that came out of it – but dang boy, don’t you remember Andrew’s warning of Stranger Danger??

BIG AL – ABOUT AS SUCCESSFUL WITH THE KIDS AS HE IS WITH THE LADIES

J Si only made one kid cry – but Big Al? well …

Big Al sent little Rudy into a 10 minute crying fit by chanting “RUDY, RUDY, RUDY” – um, did you ever think that maybe he hadn’t seen the movie?

Clarissa loves to be kissed on the cheek but not by big scary black men that she’s never met – she cried and cried and then got attitude – gee, I wonder why??

Britney was wearing super cute flip flops when Big Al decided to steal them and put them on his big, nasty, crusty feet – Big Al had no idea why this would make her cry (because he’s clueless!) but it turns out that Britney is a bit of a germaphobe and was freaked out by Al wearing her shoes – and who could blame her – even I would’ve been freaked out by that!!  Her mom gives her a wetnap to wipe the Al off her flip flops but Big Al had enough sense to recognize that might not be enough and did what he always does when he screws up – he whipped out his wallet – Al ran to the gift shop and bought her some Cinderella flip flops and all was right with the world – once again, Big Al buys himself out of trouble

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Wanda Sykes came out of the closet at a Las Vegas Prop 8 rally

#4 – Paula Abdul wants to leave American Idol to develop other tv projects

#3 – Audrina Patridge says there will be a fifth season of The Hills

#2 – Kanye West was arrested in England for fighting with paparazzi

#1 – Lindsay Lohan was pelted with a flour bomb for wearing fur

SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST ANGELS

Charles and Julie have 2 older boys in their 20s – but they adopted an 11 month old boy, sight unseen, after already adopting a first special needs child – he has Cerebral Palsy and had a brain hemorrhage and they were told that he would most likely be a vegetable – but now he functions on the level of a 2 year old!!

Craig is 9 year old Shelby’s dad – Craig is a single dad (which you don’t see often on the trip) to Shelby and her 11 year old sister Hope -Shelby’s mom used drugs during her pregnancy and Shelby had to have 2 had 2 blood transfusions in the womb – Shelby was born with Cerebral Palsy which they think was a result of her mom’s drug use – you’d think that Craig would carry a lot of anger about that situation, but he says that he doesn’t badmouth her because he feels like she did what she did because she lost her mind because of the drugs – Craig thinks it’s better to love and go on and that the trip has showed him that the people that give to Kidd’s Kids are more blessed than the kids who go on the trip – he said that Shelby is there more for him than he is for her and that she always has a smile on her face!!

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM BIG AL

It isn’t often that Big Al comes to the table with something that is truly profound, but he said something that really struck me today – he said he was jealous of the Kidd’s kids parent s because they have something he doesn’t have – the ability to live a selfless life – they truly don’t live “me centered” lives like the rest of us often do – and it touches you and changes you in a special way that you wouldn’t normally get – as I post this blog and run to kiss my baby girl and hold her tight for the first time today, I hope I remember that – it’s so easy to get me-centered when you really don’t have any problems – and you never know when it could suddenly be you living on the other side

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie’s goal is not to gain a pound at Disney World

Big Al is eating fruit

Shanon says this may be one of the proudest days of Shanon’s life

HIZZLE

Taylor Swift is considering becoming a surgeon

Kanye West will never be happy

Joe Jonas says he did not cheat on Taylor Swift

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are not getting married

KELLIE AND GABE – PART 2

Kellie will willingly admit that she is a little on the annoying fan side – but she can’t help it – she has a HUGE crush on Gabe – and it’s not just because he’s a rock star – the night that she met Gabe, she thought he was hot before she even knew who he was – and when he told her he was in a band, she still didn’t have a clue – she’d never heard of him – Kellie REALLY wanted Kidd to stop talking about the whole thing because I can tell that Kellie is getting to the point where she’s embarrassed about the whole thing – and while Kidd thinks he’s making it better by trying to tell her stuff that won’t make it seem so bad – I really think he’s making it worse by forcing her to relive it – I think Kellie really needs to just ride it out – but Kidd went on the sly and asked Gabe about Kellie and if he was really annoyed by her – and he said no!!  he even said that the first night that he met Kellie, he was really into her and wanted to hang out, but she was kind of seeing someone and didn’t feel comfortable about kicking it with Gabe – aw man, what’s are a stand up guy and girl to do??

LL COOL J SI

J Si “Mr. I’m Great At Everything” is known around the office as the guy that thinks he can throw down with his rap skillz – and while he’s not bad, I wouldn’t call him the next Tupac – so when I found out that he would be performing the rap part of Cobra Starship’s “Kiss My Sass”, I was a little worried – after all, Travi from Gym Class Heroes is who does the rap on the original track and that is a lot to live up to – but J Si has been practicing for about 48 hours non-stop – and last night, in front of 2000 people at the House of Blues in Orlando, J Si KILLED IT!!  I was so proud listening this morning that I actually teared up – and I was even more proud seeing the video on kiddnation.com – I know I give J Si a hard time – because truthfully, he’s like the annoying little brother you think is cute because he’s your brother but constantly want to punch in the face because he’s always in your stuff and in your business – but I still love him and I really wanted him to do well – and he did not let me down – J Si says he completely went blank right before he came out on stage – and maybe it was because of that half a glass of vodka he downed to take the edge off – but right when they handed him the mic, it all came back to him and he knocked it out of the park – even Gabe said he killed it – and so did the Chat Room – Lucy clapped for J Si, stood up and gave him an ovation – LikwidDavey said “He killed it!”and Sonia said “Travi who?”  Go to Kiddnation and watch the video – he was awesome!!

FOREVER THE SICKEST KIDS

Jonathan and Austin from Forever The Sickest Kids stopped by to see the show – they’re on tour with Cobra Starship and while the tour bus went on to Atlanta – Jonathan and Austin stayed here so that they could be here for the Kidd’s Kids show this morning – although Jonathan and Austin did perform (“She’s A Lady”), that’s not why they stayed – Jonathan grew up listening to Kidd and knows all about Kidd’s Kids, so since he had a chance to be a part of it, they opted to skip the tour bus and take a later flight to Atlanta – how cool is that – and if you don’t know much about the band, the Sickest Kids aren’t really into the hard core-partying all night-raising hell band scene – last night at the concert, the guy that introduced them dropped an F-bomb and Jonathan was LESS than pleased – that’s not their image and he didn’t want that kind of association out there – so the band refused to go out until they were reintroduced properly!  And then this morning, in his hotel room, he found an apology letter from the guy!

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO FREDDY?

Kidd asked Freddy to help him write this year’s Kidd’s Kids song – but in order to really write the song, Kidd thought he needed to see the trip and meet the kids – so Freddy came down to Orlando and met some of the kids – on the plane, Kidd told Freddy how one of the first questions that people ask is “what do they have” and it’s a question that the kids get all the time – one of the kids Freddy connected with first was 11 year old Marcos – Marcos has Cystic Fibrosis but doesn’t let it define him – he said that on a scale of 1-10, his CF is “like a 7 or 7 ½ – it’s not major but sometimes it definitely takes its toll on me” – how profound is that – from an 11 year old?  Marcos’ mom said is she had one wish, it would be for Marcos to be healthy – but Marcos’ current dream is to build a children’s hospital completely made of Legos – he said he would never wish he didn’t have CF because that’s him – how insightful for an 11 year old to know that so much of who he has become is because of his disease but still strong enough to not let it dominate his life – I haven’t even met him yet and already I love this kid!

So based on all of that – Freddy has already started writing – the song is going to be called “Nothing’s Broken Here” (which I think is a great title and here are the first lyrics:

What direction are they moving in?

Everyone wants to know

But they’ve ignored that question

Since a long, long time ago

They’ll never say that they’re unlucky

They just got a different deal

I know they’re hearts are made of heaven

And love can heal

What’s the cost of reality?

And how do they keep on trying

I used to think I was brave

But they’ve got more courage than a lion

On these streets of hope

The pain will disappear

Cause dreams are never broken

Nothing’s broken here

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Kim Kardashian and Hugh Hefner’s ex Kendra will appear on the Speidy episode of “How I Met Your Mother”

#4 – Len Goodman of “Dancing with the Stars” was choking but Tom Bergeron performed the Heimlich and saved him

#3 – Rihanna canceled her Indonesia concert because of the threat of terrorist revenge attacks

#2 – Kanye thinks the MTV Music Awards are rigged

#1 – Joe Jonas is not happy about the way Taylor Swift is handling their break up in the media

KRISTA BREWER

I’ll just tell you right now, that there is no way I can possibly give this justice – you absolutely have to go to the kPod and listen – and get your Kleenex ready – cause you’re gonna need it!

Krista was a friend of the show before she was a Kidd’s Kid – somebody called the show and told us about this special little girl who was battling brain cancer and wanted a popcorn machine – we get a lot of requests when people are in need, especially children – and there is no way that we could possibly help everyone – but getting a popcorn machine for a little girl seemed so easy – then when we met Krista, we just fell in love with her – she was funny and beautiful and smart – and so matter of fact – you never heard her whine or complain, you just heard her beautiful spirit every time we talked to her – Krista became an official Kidd’s Kid last year when she went on the trip – and after battling cancer for 7 years, she lost her battle earlier this year – Janice’s family is amazing – not only did they come to the studio just a few weeks after Krista passed for Kidd’ Kids Day, they showed up yesterday for the send off – Janice (Krista’s mom) wanted to share how great the trip is for these kids – she said it’s a chance for the kids to just be normal kids and take the focus off of being sick and different from everyone else – on this trip, all the kids are the same – they’re just regular, normal kids!!  If you have some time, check out Krista’s website and read about her incredible journey – while you might think it’s all doom and gloom – it’s really not – Krista led an incredible life and she touched so many people that she came in contact with – kristabrewer.com

We miss you Krista – I hope you’re in Heaven having some popcorn for me!!

J SI’S “I’M GREAT AT EVERYTHING” MOMENT OF THE DAY

J Si has been practicing nonstop for his performance tonight with Cobra Starship – he said he sat in his car yesterday practicing for hours because he didn’t want to look stupid practicing in the house – um, so you didn’t look stupid sitting and practicing in the car???

KIDD’S “JEALOUS JACK” MOMENT

“You’re taller, younger and hotter than me and that makes you a target” – Kidd – um, it may be time to seek some professional help

THE THING KELLIE SAID THAT ME LAUGH TODAY

“I just don’t want my daughter to be a Goth – is that so wrong and controversial?” – Kellie

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

“Seize the power – start a thread” – Kellie Rasberry

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Big Al went on an errand date last night

J Si’s dog Delilah has learned how to hide his car keys

Kidd’s backstage pass had to be cut off by Shanon this morning

Jack is still worried about the Robert Pattinson stunt

SHOUT OUT TO 7-11

7-11 introduced a new Slurpee flavor and donated part of the proceeds to Kidd’s Kids – the final total … $97,500 – dang Pootie – that’s a LOT of Slurpees!!!

HIZZLE

Adrienne Bailon’s naked pictures were a publicity stunt

Desperate Housewives wants Sarah Palin to appear on the show

Paris and Benji will bring in the New Year online in Sydney

A Paula Abdul obsessed fan committed suicide

THE MOST POP CULTURALLY IGNORANT RADIO PERSONALITY EVER

This is why Al only gets the “black” stories – Kidd asked Al to name the current James Bond – “uh, that guy – Smith” -yeah, no.  OK, name any of the previous James Bonds – “Pierce Brosnan” – ok, anyone else – “um, Who’s that other guy, the bearded guy with the white and black, that guy, what’s his name?” – uh huh – there you go.  See, we’re not just picking on Al – it’s just who he is

ROBERT PATTINSON aka EDWARD – THE TEASER INTERVIEW

Robert Pattinson would be willing to date a fan because they already think he’s pretty freaking great -yeah, good luck with all that!

HOW QUICKLY THEY CHANGE

The show leaves today for the Kidd’s Kids trip and Kellie isn’t going to see Emma Kelly until Monday night – so last night when she put her to bed, she held her and rocked her though Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (which is their bedtime ritual) – but she played the song over and over again and kept holding her and smelling her until finally Emma Kelly pointed to her bed and said. “I wanna go bed!!” – aaaand she’s over you.

KATY PERRY PHONER

Katy Perry called to wish us luck on the Kidd’s Kids trip and as usual, she was WAY fun – Kidd told her that it looks like she’ll have the number one song in the country next week and she was totally surprised!!  Then Kidd went back and forth hinting around about her dating Travi (aka Travis from Gym Class Heroes aka “Poopie Pants” as Katy calls him) until finally she admitted who it was (since everyone already knows!)- she said the 3 things she loves most about Travi are …

He has the same sense of humor as her

She loves that he can give her advice because he’s “been there before”

And he’s incredibly good looking, has great eyes and has a “genius” profile

Katy is currently on tour in London and is really homesick – she misses mac and cheese and Saved By the Bell reruns

KINSEY

Kinsey called in to tease J Si about a picture she took while doing a photo shoot for a hot, high-fashion new clothing line (aka KKITM) – she was doing the shoot while J Si was at the mall doing the Robert Pattinson interview – J Si texted Kinsey to say he was getting arrested and Kinsey thought it was a total joke – so she decided to prank him back by taking a picture with 2 of the hot models – someone (Kidd and Andrew) thought it would be funny if the models took off their shirts and posed with Kinsey making a Kinsey sandwich – now, Kinsey’s whole purpose was to make J Si a little jealous and of course she said that if J Si really loved her, he would go beat them up – and that’s where it gets ugly …

GET OVER IT

Talk about the bit that went on WAY too long – after about a minute I just wanted to punch J Si in the face – and after 2 minutes, I wanted to punch myself in the face – it’s no secret that J Si tends to be a little jealous – and I’m not really sure why – he and Kinsey TOTALLY trust each other – and there is no question about how much they love each other and how solid their relationship is – but for some reason, J Si just about busted an internal organ when he saw the pictures of Kinsey with the male models – particularly the one where the models are kissing Kinsey – now before you go all postal like J Si, go check the pictures out on kiddlive.com – they’re fairly innocent – I mean it’s not like Kinsey is mugging down with the guys – they’re innocent, posed kisses on the cheek – but J Si was about ready to lose it – now granted, Kinsey was just trying to get back at J Si for pranking her when he said he was getting arrested – and J Si needed to step up and take some responsibility – because, he has fooled Kinsey before by saying that he was getting arrested – so when she got the text this week, she thought it was a joke – see what happens when you cry wolf!  Anyway, the longer we talked about it – the madder J Si got – first he was mad at Kinsey for taking the pictures – then he was mad at Kidd and Andrew for suggesting the prank – then he was mad at all of them for participating in the prank – who he should have been mad at was that rude caller who called Kinsey a high maintenance B and suggested that J Si dump Kinsey – but that’s neither here nor there – basically it went something like this -”It was Kinsey’s idea to take off the guys shirt” – BLAH BLAH BLAH – “it was Andrew” – BLAH BLAH BLAH – Kidd claims he was innocent – BLAH BLAH BLAH – Did Kinsey push J Si’s buttons on purpose and is J Si overreacting? – BLAH BLAH BLAH – J Si, get over it – BLAH BLAH BLAH – really, I think J Si is just mad because Kinsey is going home for Thanksgiving without him because she’s been saving her money but J Si can’t afford to go – but that’s just me – and while he never just said, “yeah, you’re right – this isn’t a big deal”, I think he’ll survive – and good thing – because he was making me nuts – jealous boyfriends are SO annoying – but that’s okay, J Si – even though you were a total moron about this – I still love you

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – A former American Idol contestant’s body was found outside Paula Abdul’s house

#4 – After 14 seasons, Mad TV has been canceled and so has Lipstick Jungle

#3 – Scarlet Johannson and Ryan Reynolds are having another wedding in the states

#2 – Brad Pitt is mad at Jennifer Aniston for her comments about Angelina Jolie

#1 – Cheetah Girl Adrienne Bailon’s naked photo PR scandal was her idea and now it’s backfired

THE PUPPETMASTER

A couple of years ago, the show had puppets made for a skit they did at a radio awards show – now, before i go any further, I tried to tell everyone that the puppet thing was a bad idea – but do you think anyone listened to me? NO.  so when the puppets BOMBED at the awards show … well let’s just say that I waited until today to say “TOLD YA SO!!” – anyway, for some reason Kidd and Al had their puppets put in storage but Kellie kept hers and it lived in her office – well yesterday when White Tie Affair was here, Shawn from White Tie Affair asked Kellie if he could have the puppet – she felt awkward and didn’t really know what to say – so Kellie told him he could have it as long as he didn’t do unspeakable things to it – now, the puppet has gone unused for I don’t know how long and all of a sudden Kidd is concerned about the well-being of the puppet – he says he’s concerned about Kellie and what if the band does dirty things with the puppet and posts pictures on the Internets?  Which I can only see being a problem if the caption on the picture starts with “This is a puppet of Kellie Rasberry doing unspeakable things” – i mean, it doesn’t look THAT much like her!  but apparently Shawn promised that if they posted pictures, he would run them by Kidd first – and that was enough to appease Kidd – boy, I sure hope Kidd has time to do an internet search for the Kellie Rasberry puppet every day …

THE FAKE SELF ESTEEM GENERATION

Note to Kidd Kraddick – I hate statistics – nothing is more annoying when listening to a story than statistics – why?  Because I’m a visual learner – so to hear abstract numbers applied to a situation – it just goes over my head – it’s enough for me to hear, “kids today think they are GREAT at everything, whereas kids who grew up in the 70s and 80s have a more realistic view of life” – anyway, the fact is that kids growing up today are now being told they are the greatest ever – there are no more winners and losers – everyone is awesome and everyone wins – everybody gets a second (or third or fourth) chance and there are participation ribbons ands trophies for everybody – and that’s starting to create a problem for these kids when they get into the real world because we all know that’s not exactly how things work – parents are actually calling their kids bosses when they get passed over for a promotion – huh?  I’ve heard of parents calling teachers to plead their kid’s case when they’re failing a class – but on the job?  Of course, if that actually works … Kidd Kraddick, be expecting a call from my dad next week – cause this girl needs a raise!

BILLBOARD TOP 5

5.  Funhouse – Pink
4.  Take It To The Limit – Hinder
3.  HSM 3 – Soundtrack
2.  Black Ice – AC/DC
1.  Twilight – Soundtrack

Tomorrow – Live from Disney – it’s the Kidd’s Kids Trip!!!  But you know what I’m looking forward to most – hearing how J Si “Mr. I’m great at EVERYTHING” does performing the Travi rap with Cobra Starship tonight!