Kidd Kraddick Remix

BRITISH INCREDULITY

Turduckin – the Thanksgiving tradition of Turkey, Duck and Chicken – Jack saw it and said, “That’s incredible”

KIDD THE NAME DROPPER

I’m going to a party with Good Charlotte Friday night and going to see Dr. Phil in L.A. this weekend

ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW

Josh Tucker – Who?  Exactly.

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID QUOTE OF THE DAY

“i would love to role play with Andrew” – Kellie

THING I LEARNED ON TODAY’S SHOW

People always ask why Kellie has her own room and today we finally learned why – so Kidd can turn off her mic whenever she’s talking – like today when we were doing the embarrassing parent stories and Kellie continues to tell stories about her childhood – and how every kid should have a ditch growing up …

TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN

“That’s some good white people music right there y’all” – Al talking about Coldplay

WHY YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW

The difference between a recession and a depression

WORDS I NEVER THOUGHT I’D HEAR COME FROM ANDREW’S MOUTH

“Blacula – this is a GREAT movie!  And then there’s the sequel – Blacula 2″ – Little Andrew – I’m telling you, this kid is WEIRD!!

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

If you ask someone to go see a concert or event with you, you have the obligation to say “hey, do you want to go see Coldplay with me?  I’ve got 4^th row seats/the seats aren’t that great/they’re decent seats, etc – because if your friend is a Seat Snob like Big Al, they’ll be pissed when they get to the concert and find out the seats suck

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie only stayed at the Coldplay concert for an hour

Big Al had 3 people show up to his impromptu party

J Si’s mad because his friends think his sister is hot

Shanon wants Baby Bottle Beer Pong for her sister’s baby shower

Sexy Jack would have dumped his girlfriend to go see Coldplay

THANKS KIDD KRADDICK FOR THROWING ME UNDER THE BUS

“Have you ever seen Paul with the same girl twice?” – Kidd

“Yeah – all the time” – J Si

Aww – you mean each girl Paul has gone

HIZZLE

Enrique Iglesias is homeless – at least for now

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden are officially over

Hugh Jackman is the sexiest man alive

Jamie Foxx wants to be the black James Bond

THE FUNNIEST BREAK OF THE DAY

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that the movie “Twilight” opens tomorrow – and since most places will have a midnight showing, we thought we’d send Little Andrew to see if he can find a woman – no big deal, right?  We’re sure to get a few laughs when Andrew tries to hit on the girls who have been waiting in line for your s to see Robert Pattinson as Edward – but come on – you knew better than to think that it would just be that, right? What if we have Andrew pretend that he’s a vampire – after all, as all said “Dracula is the ultimate player” – but Andrew is FAR (and I mean REALLY, REALLY FAR) from player status – and will be even less so since he’s going to be completely in character wearing a cape, fangs and black hair – so we role played with him so that he could get the vampire dialect down – we started simple with, “I am Dracula” – except that it sounded like a cross between a really bad Italian accent and The Count from Sesame Street – then he tried to ad lib, “Are you here to see Dracula in the movie Twilight” – except Dracula isn’t in the movie – and everyone in the line is there to see Twilight – stick to the script Andrew!!   Then he got a little bold and busted out with, “Do you have a young single stupid friend?” – yeah, that’ll get the girls – then he tried to go the comedy route, “Can I take you out after the movie – perhaps for a Bloody Mary” – lowest form of comedy … the pun – and in order to prepare for the girl who has a boyfriend, Little Andrew’s response, “Does he have a jiggly belly like mine?” – when all else fails, go the honesty route

BILLBOARD TOP 5

5.  Twilight – Soundtrack

4.  Thr33 Ringz – T-Pain
3.  Now 29 – Various Artists
2.  David Archuleta – David Archuleta
1.  Fearless – Taylor Swift

LOOK AT SHANON BRINGING BACK GOOD MEMORIES

we used to refer to Al as the N.U.B. aka No Usable Bits – why did we ever stop using that name?  clearly it still applies – Underwater Bubble Blowing Songs anyone??

YET ANOTHER REASON AL ONLY GETS THE BLACK CELEBRITY STORIES

After talking about how celebrities often date celebrities because they’re set up by their publicists, the question was asked “Which celebrity would you date” – hey Al, name one single celebrity … “Scarlett Johansson – married, Roslyn Sanchez – engaged , Jennifer Hudson – engaged, Halle Berry – serious relationship, Britney Murphy – married, Carmen Electra – engaged, Salma Hayek – serious relationship,  Jessica Alba – married, Gillian Anderson – wtf???  Christina Aguilera – married.  Seriously?  Al couldn’t name one single celebrity?  What about the one celebrity we talk about every.single.day.  Britney Spears anyone?

MOST HUMILIATING THING THAT HAPPENED BEFORE YOU WERE 13

I am already laughing before I even type this because Kellie’s story includes a ditch – when Kellie was a kid, they had a ditch back behind the house – and Kellie, her brother Ryan and her neighbor Danny Boy were playing in the ditch and it had been snowing – when it was time to go inside, Ryan and Danny Boy climbed out of the ditch but Kellie couldn’t get herself out – so Danny Boy ran inside to get his dad and out came Danny Sr and Danny Boy’s brothers and they formed a human chain to lift Kellie out of the ditch – she was so embarrassed that as soon as she got out she ran into her house

Jack’s moment was when his shorts ripped when he was going up the stairs at school – he was wearing tighty whiteys and because Jack was a fat kid (his words, not mine) – and his MASSIVE bottom ended up exposed for the world to see – again his words, not mine – and as if that story wasn’t funny enough, hearing Jack referring to himself as Big Bottom Jack – HI-larious!!

Al’s moment occurred on his first day of fifth grade – he was the only black kid in the class at his super expensive private school and everyone was supposed to go into their class when they called your name – well as they stood around – everyone’s name was called except Al’s – Al had been left back in the 4^th grade but decided to go with the 5^th graders on the off chance that they would call out his name – Al got left back and was hoping that no one would remember

Kidd’s moment is one that we’ve alluded to several times and involves his childhood nickname – Kidd was about 12 years old and had just been picked up from baseball practice (for a team where he never actually played) and he and his dad stopped by the store on the way home – there Kidd was walking through the store wearing his jeans and his metal cleats carrying his big bag of baseball bats (that he didn’t want anyone to steal from the car) and he ran into hot Christy Nichols, her hot friend Bev McCarty and Christy’s ugly sister (which is why he can’t remember her name) – Kidd’s dad called out to him and said “let’s go”- but Kidd ignored him and kept talking to the girls – that is until Kidd’s one piece jumpsuit wearing dad came down the aisle calling, “Doodle … Doodle” – yeah, it’s a little hard to look cool when your nickname is Doodle!

Shanon (who shockingly only came up with one humiliating moment) was in 3^rd grade in Miss Harvey’s class – Shanon’s daily appearance included her Flintstone’s plastic glasses and a pirate patch to help correct her lazy eye – did I mention that the lenses had 2 different prescriptions and that one of them completely doubled the size of Shanon’s eye when you looked at her – but that day, in addition to her normal every day look Shanon had a cold – and she got up to get a Kleenex – she walked t the back of the room and was walking in circles because she couldn’t find the Kleenex – all the other kids in the class kept saying “look behind you, look behind you” – but not because the Kleenex was behind her – because she had toilet paper hanging out of her pants from when she was in the bathroom earlier – I thought that only happened on tv

And then the reason for the Bean and Cheese Production of the week …

When J Si was 4 years old, he developed an intense fear of clowns when he was sprayed in the face with water by a clown – so when he was 11, he was at a birthday party in the park it was for a younger kid, so J Si and his friends were off to the side hanging out – J Si saw the clown and decided that he would just say away – but somehow, the clown sensed J Si’s fear and came over to approach him –  the clown grabbed J Si from behind and was kinda tousling around with him – he continued to bother J Si and the more J SI protested, the more aggressive the clown became – and when J Si didn’t respond positively,  the clown began to tickle J Si – at this point, J Si is not only scared, but he’s starting to get really mad so he’s yelling at the clown, “stop – please stop” – but the clown won’t let up, so the only thing J Si could think to do was fall on the ground in a ball in an effort to get away from the clown – but I guess the clown thought it wa sall part of the game because the white-faced, green haired, purple contact wearing clown continued to tickle J Si – to the point where he peed his pants while he was lying on the floor – when he realized what had happened, J Si started crying in front of his friends and then just stayed on the floor hoping no one would notice – J Si’s mom kept telling him to get up and J Si refused – he laid there until things died down and then he tried to sneak off – except there were people taking pictures and suddenly J Si hears someone say “J Si did you pee your pants?” – poor J Si was so embarrassed, he ran to the car and locked himself in the car – I know I should feel bad about this story – but I am willing to pay any amount of money to see the pictures of J Pee!!!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Daniel Craig says it’s time for a black James Bond

#4 – Chris Martin of Coldplay is hinting about retiring soon

#3 – Britney has a new song on her new CD about Adnon Ghalib

#2 – Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got into a huge fight because Lindsay was dancing with her ex, Calum Best

#1 – Benji Madden and Paris Hilton are officially over

IF YOU CAN’T FIND ANYONE ELSE TO GO …

Kellie unwillingly went to go see Coldplay last night with her friend Haven but ended up not staying for the whole show even though tickets were selling for about $1000 a piece – Kellie tried to convince her friend that the ticket would be wasted on her because she ’s not a fan – Kidd felt Haven’s pain because he had asked Kellie to go see the Eagles with him and Kellie’s response was, “well, if you want me to – if you can’t get anybody else to go with you, I’ll go” – you can imagine where this went – especially when Kidd whipped out Kellie voice -**cause I’m a Diva, Diva** so Kidd busts his you know what to find someone else to go so that Kellie doesn’t have to – then when he found someone, Kellie said, “are you sure you don’t want me to go?  Cause I’ll go if you want me too” – well by that time, Kidd already found someone!!  Just make sure you go to the kPod and listen to Kidd’s re-enactment of Kellie calling 911 because she was so bored at the concert – worth.your.time.

RYAN HEDDER FROM ONE REPUBLIC

Was going to go into acting but picked music because it’s way more impactful

The seven artists he will collaborate with are Leona Lewis, Beyonce, James Morrison, Ray LaMontagne , Rihanna, Chris Cornell and Kelly Clarkson

Ryan’s favorite artist of last year was Imogene Heap

He loves Tears for Fears and Peter Gabrielle is his most favorite artist ever

THANKS KIDD KRADDICK FOR THROWING ME UNDER THE BUS, PART 2

Kidd is pretty open about the fact that he has a weekly poker game with his buddies – and since Kidd is freaking rich (at least in my mind), I’m thinking he’s throwing down some serious cash – but why is it necessary for him to throw his buddy Texas Rangers pitcher Kenny Rogers under the bus (with Kenny Rogers’ ‘The Gambler’ playing in the background)?  Apparently Kenny took Kidd’s entire stash of cash and then Kidd comes on the radio telling all his business – “Maybe he doesn’t want you telling all his gambling business”, Kellie said – “What next, you gonna talk about the hookers?”   actually, Kellie said prostitutes – but hookers sounds funnier – you know, like hookers and blow?  Hahahaha!!!  I’m funny!