Kidd Kraddick Remix

BEHIND THE SCENES

At the mere suggestion that Macauley Culkin might be married/dating Mila Kunis, the boys in the Geek Room completely lost it – “no way”, “la la la la – I’m not listening” , “he’d better not be” – seriously?  do you really think any of you yahoos have a chance with her?  jeez …

INAPPROPRIATE MOMENT OF THE DAY

Al calling Shanon a Lesbi-man when talking about her girly girlfriend

I HATE YOU KELLIE RASBERRY

Kellie is going to see her plastic surgeon today so that she can try on boobie sizes – but apparently Kellie talking about her new boobies is rubbing a few people the wrong way – particularly the Angry Small Breasted Pioneer Woman – she wrote an email to Kidd (though I’m not sure how since she’s from 200 years ago) to say she’s tired of hearing about Kellie talking about her plastic surgery – and that Kellie should consider herself lucky that she not only has the money to pay for the surgery – but that she lives in a time when the surgery is even an option

FUNNIEST CONVERSATION ON TODAY’S SHOW

“I’ll be honest – there is a lot of B about me – I’m B” – Kellie

“You put the itch in B” – Kidd

KIDD’S “NEXT YOU’LL GROW A VESTIGIAL TAIL” MOMENT

Kellie’s computer is *gasp* 5 years old!!!

“SAVE THAT “OF THE DAY

“I’ll be dancing naked at 2:30pm” – Kidd

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie cried after a woman yelled at her yesterday

Big Al had someone yell “Character Stereotype Destroyer Man” at him

J Si may have to move out of his apartment complex because of Beyonce

Shanon burned 6 fingers but is coming to the Christmas party

Sexy Jack has a date this weekend and it’s not with his girlfriend

FLUSH THE FORMAT

Pour Some Sugar On Me – Def Leppard

Round and Round – Tupac

How Bizarre – OMC

Pocket Full of Sunshine – Natasha Bedingfield

Handlebars – Flobots

Girls – Beastie Boys

Lollipop – Lil Wayne

I Got A Woman – Ray Charles

Golddigger – Kanye West

Swing Swing – All American Rejects

Just Dance – Lady GaGa

Single Ladies – Beyonce

Super Woman – Christina Aguilera

Me So Horny – 2 Live Crew

Baby Got Back – Sir Mix A Lot

HIZZLE

Macauley Culkin’s sister, Dakota, was hit by a car and killed

Kate Walsh is getting divorced after a year of marriage

Usher and Tameka had a baby boy

Paula Abdul might be leaving American Idol

WHATEVER WILL WE DO IF PAULA ABDUL LEAVES AMERICAN IDOL??

I don’t watch American Idol – and I guess I’m the only one on the planet because everyone seems to be freaking out about the possibility that Paula may leave the show this season – everyone but me … personally, I think she’s a wacko – I do think that Paula got a raw deal and was treated badly by Simon and Fox – but I also think she’s taking this victim thing a little too far – dude, stand up for yourself – I think that reality show she did really made her look bad – “I am tired of people not treating me like the gift that i am” – um, okay Paula – whatever you say …

HIGHLIGHT

When we left off yesterday, Kellie had just arrived at Dr. Booty’s ex-wife’s house – except the middle-aged (41 years old) woman that came out said she wasn’t Dr. Booty’s ex-wife – she was actually his granddaughter, Tina – Tina took Kelley into the house to meet the real ex-Mrs. Dr. Booty’s – and Kellie was shocked to see that the ex-Mrs. Dr. Booty was about 100 years old – she shared with Kellie that she had been married to Dr. Booty for 25 years – and that contrary to Kellie’s quick calculation – Dr. Booty wasn’t 75 years old – he was at least 150 …

THE CALF-OFF aka IT’S ABOUT TO GET UGLY IN HERE

So the official Calf Off voting has ended and we have a winner – if you saw the pictures, there was never really any doubt who the winner would be - J Si came in last place with 14% of the vote, Shanon just barely beat J Si with 15% – somehow Al managed to come from behind and slide into 2^nd place with 21% of the vote and Kidd won by a landslide with 49% – and that’s when the passive aggressive backhanded slams started flying – poor Kidd – the man doesn’t have much – he’s not as tall as the other boys and he isn’t nearly as big – can’t y’all just let Kidd have the calf title?  He did win it fair and square – but noooo … instead the boys accused Kidd of already having calf implants – then Al said Kidd weighed 108 and J Si was kind enough to give him 120 – so of course Kidd had to jump in and defend himself with comebacks like Bacon Head and Lard Butt – yes, I am surrounded by 10 year old boys

IS THAT GOOD NAKED – OR BAD NAKED??

There are a lot of reasons that I love J Si – and one of the big ones is his ability to totally laugh at himself when he pulls a bonehead move – like yesterday – so, I’ve been teasing J Si mercilessly about the new Beyonce song, “Single Ladies” because he and Kinsey have been dating about 100 years now – and since she left her family and moved across the country to be with him, I think it’s high time that he marry her – after all, “if he liked it then he should have put a ring on it!”, right?  So I’ve been singing the Beyonce song to him pretty much non-stop and we’ve been doing the dance around the office – complete with the pelvic rolls and hip thrusts – well, I didn’t realize that J Si had been practicing at home – and apparently neither did Kinsey who seemed to have left the blinds open in their bedroom – so yesterday afternoon when J Si got out of the shower and started doing the Beyonce hip roll in the bedroom, he didn’t realize that the blinds were open – he also didn’t realize that people could see into his bedroom – otherwise he never would have been standing in front of his dresser …  legs spread apart, hip thrusting complete with the hand movements  … buck bare booty naked – that’s right!  NEKKID!!  Now just imagine little J Si dancing around his bedroom with his wee-wee out for the world to see while he’s pretending to be Beyonce – and then imagine his cool neighbor and his 2 hot female friends standing on their balcony staring at J Si – of course the minute j Si saw them, he dove for the ground and yelled for Kinsey thinking she would bring him a towel – but instead of helping him cover up she just pointed and laughed – yeah, I’m willing to bet that someone laughing and pointing at you while you’re naked is never good for the ego!

ANYONE BUT J SI

So now that all of the Geighborhood has seen (or heard) of J Si’s nekkid dancing experience, he has to place the blame on someone – so he chose me – and I was fine with that – I’ll take the blame if it creates a great bit – or someone else’s extreme embarrassment – but that’s not the way we roll on KKITM – the Supreme KKITM Court declared J Si guilty of indecent exposure and dancing naked in front of the window on purpose – I mean, we know that J Si thinks that he’s the greatest at everything anyway – why wouldn’t he want all of the Geighborhood to see him as the greatest male Beyonce dancer in the ‘hood?  That’s why he was dancing in front of the window – at least that’s what Kidd said – we brought the case in front of the KKITM People’s Court and asked Kellie to defend J Si, with Kidd as the prosecutor and Al as the judge – the case quickly became personal with Al favoring Kellie and it ended in a hung jury (THATSWHATSHESAID) with a caller referring to Al as the judge who is a legal nincompoop

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – John Stamos’ idea for a Full House reunion is no more

#4 – Macauley Culkin’s sister died after walking in front of a car

#3 – Jeremey Piven lost Barack Obama’s phone number in a voice mail

#2 – Usher and his wife, Tameka had another baby boy

#1 – Mariah’s pregnancy rumors are rampant due to her canceling her tour

HOLIDAY HUNK

Sexy Jack’s girlfriend is away having her pinky toe “knocked back into shape” (like Jack said), so he is free and clear to impersonate yet another British guy in yet another bit – I am anticipating GREATNESS – and that’s all I can say …

HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL BIG AL BRING TO THE OFFICE CHRISTMAS PARTY?

Obviously Big Al thinks he’s a WAY bigger deal than he really is – because anytime we have an office gathering, Al feels the need to bring his own personal entourage – particularly when someone else (Kidd) is picking up the tab – tonight is the big office Christmas Party and although there are several people in the office that are coming alone, once again Al is bringing a crew – he immediately invited his Redneck Steve – but since they’re still trying to keep it on the DL, he’s also bringing a date – remember the girl he met at the sports bar last weekend – except she may be “sick” (probably because she heard us talk so bad about how Al always invites some random girl to our office parties) – so what does Al do – he lines up a back up date – after complaining on air yesterday about not having the current Dallas Maverick Dancers calendar – one of the dancers stopped by the studio this morning to bring Al a calendar – and Al took that opportunity to ask said dancer if she would like to be his date to the party in case his current date backs out – how does this man function??

BILLBOARD TOP 5

5.  Nickelback- Dark Horse
4.  Kanye West- 808s & Heartbreak
3.  Beyonce- I Am … Sasha Fierce
2.  Taylor Swift- Fearless
1.  Britney Spears- Circus

KKITM – THE SHOW THAT DESTROYS RELATIONSHIPS

Usually when the show ruins a relationship, it’s Big Al in the hot seat – but if you hang around here long enough, we’ll eventually get to everyone – Shanon – your turn – Shanon has a new girlfriend and according to the boys – she is HOT HOT HOTTIE MCHOTTERSTON HOT!!!  New Girlfriend (NGF) has only met a couple of people on the show and has had very brief encounters with them – that of course left NGF open to all kinds of scrutiny – because well, that’s what we do here – I think it all started with Al and J Si’s discussion of whether or not NGF is “in play”? **shakes head** tacky, tacky, tacky – then they started in on the fact that she’s a little on the quiet side – yeah, well we’re not that easy of a crowd to ease into – then there was more talk about how hot she is which I can tell makes Shanon a little uncomfortable – because every time someone says “man she’s hot”, Shanon comes back with “she’s not just hot – she’s also very nice and very smart and has a good job and makes me very happy and she has a really nice dog that doesn’t tear up all my stuff like my dog Oprah does” – she also says all of this without taking a breath – anyway, some good natured jabs were thrown in – something about NGF NOT being a huge B and Kellie admitting that she is – more comments about how NGF is very strong and can kick Kidd’s butt and then a jab at how out of all Al’s ex-girlfriend’s, Shanon disliked Bartendica the most – ouch – if Al hadn’t already completely destroyed that relationship, Shanon surely put the final nail in the coffin – after all of that, all I have to say is that tonight’s party is sure to be a hilarious, alcohol filled evening of awkwardness and I’m sad that I have to miss it – but I am looking forward to hearing the stories on Monday!