Kidd Kraddick Remix

BIG AL’S POINTLESS STORY OF THE DAY

Big Al using a red light as a reason to stop at Popeye’s

KELLIE RASBERRY’S I’M THE SMARTEST PERSON ON THE SHOW” MOMENT

We tried to make Al smarter by having him do the newspaper crossword puzzle – and as he was calling out the clues, Kellie was giving him the answers without even looking at the actual crossword – this is the show that has 4 years of college – they all belong to Kellie!

THE FUNNIEST THING THAT KIDD SAID TODAY

The T word – spelled in some parts of the country with an R – in response to Al’s spelling of ignorant/egnorant

THINGS KELLIE SAID THAT MADE ME LAUGH

Kellie’s story about how she is ALWAYS doing something – even if it’s just cleaning out her junk drawer – she has 3 junk drawers now – she used to have just one but when your husband leaves you when you’re 6 months pregnant – sometimes you can’t deal with all your “stuff” so instead of putting things away, you just stuff them in drawers – and then you decide to hire a maid – and she’s good, but she’s 4 feet tall and 4 feet wide and it takes her 8 hours to clean your house and you have to be there the whole time because you don’t trust her enough yet to leave her at your house unattended – plus you have to keep turning the temperature down in your house because she sweats profusely – so finally you hire a company that brings in a team of people to clean your house and they’re done in an hour but they put thing away in places you can’t find them – so now, before they come to clean, you just stuff everything in a junk drawer – and that’s why Kellie ALWAYS has something to do

THINGS KIDD COMPLAINED ABOUT TODAY

Kellie not having seen The Dark Knight – the biggest grossing movie EVER – or some such …

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

Don’t put a knife in your junk drawer – Kidd Kraddick

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie is functioning on 2 hours of sleep

Big Al put in more work last night to get a girls number than ever

J Si is uneasy about being on You Tube with a boa around his neck

Shanon got a $270 ticket for speeding in a school zone

HIZZLE

Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker’s marriage is falling apart

Tori Spelling is going to appear on the new 90210

Britney’s dad was been named permanent conservator because Britney couldn’t be insured for her tour

Dr. Jan Adams (the plastic surgeon that performed Kanye’s mom’s surgery) is going to jail for DUI

KIDD’S “I’M A GIRL” MOMENT

Kidd is going to miss the National Championship game tonight because he’s taking Caroline and her friends to go see Nelo – now, it started off as just him and Caroline – but then Caroline asked if she could bring some friends – so now what was supposed to be a “daddy/daughter” night has turned into Kidd ruining the Caroline’s evening by tagging along – at least that’s what the show thought

KIDD THE FAST FOOD WORKER LOOK

I guess Kidd was having a bad hair day because for some reason he was wearing a cap, which is something that he never does – he was also wearing a tight purple polo style shirt, jeans and tennis shoes – and Kellie was the first person to point out that Kidd looked like a fast food worker – especially with his headphones on – he was about 2 seconds away from saying, “welcome to Fast Food Hell – can I take your order please?”

BILLBOARD TOP 5

5.  Nickelback- Dark Horse
4.  Soundtrack- Twilight
3.  Kanye West- 808’s & Heartbreak
2.  Beyonce- I Am Sasha Fierce
1.  Taylor Swift- Fearless

I TREAT MY DOGS REAL WELL – I GIVE HIM A SHOT EVERY DAY

Here’s a peek into the mind of Big Al – for some reason, Al thought that having a “come to Jesus talk” with his dog, Queso, would prevent him (who is basically still a puppy) from tearing up the house – so rather than putting Queso in his crate, when Al left he gave Queso free reign of the house – but not before he walked Queso from room to room pointing a out all the things that he was not allowed to touch – then Al made the mistake of actually trusting Queso and left him unattended after telling Queso that he would be back in 2 hours – when Al returned home (which was probably a LOT longer than 2 hours later), he entered the house to find a trail of pillow stuffing from the door to Al’s bedroom – once he got in the bedroom, Al found that Queso had also destroyed Al’s $175 leopard print comforter ripped to shreds – and a  pair of Al’s jeans!  poor Queso – it wasn’t really his fault – I mean, who truly expects their dog not to do something just because you had a “talk” with her – I mean, we have “talks” with Al all the time about how to do things correctly or differently and HE still keeps bringing the same sorry bits – and he’s not going to cut poor Queso any slack??  Yeah, I think Al went a little too far when he said, “that dog will probably die in the crate” – now if you recall – Big Al doesn’t have a great track record when it comes to dogs – he overfed his dog Stretch to the point where she developed diabetes – then after Stretch went blind as a result of the diabetes, Al thought it would be funny to rearrange the furniture and watch Stretch run into the furniture – and don’t even get me started about the time he left Stretch outside in freezing temperatures while he went to work – I think Kellie had the best suggestion, “just leave the front door open and give that dog a chance with some other family!”  good thinking Kellie!

SEXY JACK – WAY TO GET THAT JOB SECURITY

Al’s story about Queso prompted Jack to ask (in that sexy British accent of his!), “i wonder what’s the most valuable thing that a dog’s just demolished?” – way to go Jack – THAT is how to make a radio bit successful – so we went to the phones and got this:

• A woman whose dog ate her brand new $400 Coach purse that she’d had for one week
• A dog that tore the entire bumper off of a Lexus
• A man whose dog ate his wife’s wedding ring – his mom searched the dog’s poo but never found it – a $1400 surgery later, they found the wedding ring, the wedding band and the hook from their grill
• A guy’s Bull Mastiff ate his sister’s Shetland Pony – at her birthday party!!
• A woman’s Papillion ate her kids’ umbilical cords that she had been saving – yuck.
• And then what we thought was going to be a stellar call – The Dog That Ate Christmas – I know, it sounds like a bad cult classic movie – but with that kind of description, you have to take it, right? Too bad we couldn’t understand a word she was saying – for some reason, Shanon understood exactly what the woman said and translated but by that point the call had lost its punch – I guess something got lost in the translation – get it? Lost in translation – oh, nevermind!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Dr. Jan Adams (Kanye’s mom’s plastic  surgeon) is going to jail for DUI for a year

#4 – Cindy Crawford has banned her daughter from watching Hannah Montana because it taught her to talk back

#3 – Taylor Lautner will play Jacob in New Moon, the Twilight sequel

#2 – Jamie Lynn Spears and Casey Aldridge are moving forward with their wedding plans

#1 – HBO will broadcast Inaugural events free on January 18th

CHARACTER STEREOTYPE DESTROYER MAN or ENGLISH IS MY FIRST LANGUAGE, I SWEAR!!!!

The stereotype in this week’s Character Stereotype Destroyer Man was girls with a lot of tattoos are easy – so Al came across a woman with 11 tattoos and asked her inappropriate questions about how many people she’s been with and how soon she takes them home and how long before she kisses them – and it didn’t take long for her to catch on to Big Al’s radio antics and then proceed to tell him about himself – she knew who Al was and she knew his radio personality – and I think she was disgusted with him because she thought his “real” personality would be different than his “radio” personality and expected more from him – and that hurt Al’s feelings – especially when she pulled out the “I” word (which is ignorant for those of you that don’t spell Big Al) – or the “e word” depending on where you’re from – just for the record, that statement came from Big Al, NOT me!!  I guess somewhere in that expensive private school education that Al’s parents scrimped and saved to provide for him, Al decided he could just create spellings – I know, I know – even Sexy Jack called Big Al stupid after hearing that brilliant statement – but what can you do?  It’s Al!

KINSEY

After all of that, there is still one person in the world that thinks Al is highly intelligent … Kinsey – so she called in to the show to defend him – um, don’t take this the wrong way because I mean it in the nicest possible way – but if I’m looking for professional opinions on the intelligence level of someone, Kinsey is NOT the first person I would call – I mean, I love her and all – but come on – Al had to explain to her that Thailand is not a men’s clothing store – seriously??  but Kinsey did learn something from Big Al – the word “aspiration” – it’s the word you use when your butt is sweating – and THAT, boys and girls, is what we call “radio GOLD”!!