YAY – it’s Fairy Day!!!!

June 24, 2008 at 6:23 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

KELLIE RASBERRY “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME” MOMENT

Don’t make me be a lightbulb – Kellie

FUNNIEST LINES OF THE SHOW

“You’ve got something he doesn’t … a head full of hair” – Kellie talking about Rich

“I got my gun, I’m packing … bring it Rich!!!” – Shanon

THINGS KIDD COMPLAINED ABOUT TODAY

Kellie’s use of the word “pocketbook”

MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT ON THE SHOW

Kellie talking about making out with a preacher

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

Carry $10 ones in your front pocket in case you ever get mugged – then if someone says give me all your money – take the money out of your pocket, throw it at the robber and then run in the opposite direction – thanks Kidd

“THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW”

Kellie took Vicodin that expired in March

J Si found his wallet after 2 weeks

Shanon is going to be J Si’s girlfriend for the next 3 weeks

Big Al wants Fairy Day to be cancelled

Kidd has something for Kellie’s dental work

HIZZLE

Heidi and Spencer from The Hills are finally getting married … sort of

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon’s marriage may be on the rocks

Shaquille O’Neal dissed Kobe Bryant onstage in a rap

Michelle Smith is mad about Heath Ledger’s estate

Today is Fairy Day – and because of that, our presence was graced with a visit from the Fairy Godbrotha aka Big Al Mack – I’m not sure what Al did wrong that he was forced to be the Fairy Godbrotha – and I can’t even guarantee that today is truly Fairy Day – but I can guarantee that whether or not this bit actually played out as planned – seeing Al in the Fairy Godbrotha costume will be entertainment enough!   Especially since Big Al is such an unwilling participant – poor Al – I’m not sure why he was so upset – it’s not like we didn’t get him a really good costume – it came with wings and a tiara – and even after Al “accidentally” broke his magical wand AND the backup magical wand, we managed to produce an unbreakable titanium back up wand – you have to admit Al, this show went above and beyond for you – the least you could do is play along – hahahahaha!!!!  who am I kidding?  this bit was created for the sheer humiliation of Al – much like SpiderMack, the bunny suit, the Fairy Prombrotha – and while it may be a tad bit humiliating to be a 6’4″ fairy – it’s also funny – at least to us – and that’s the price you pay to have such a fun job – sometimes you have to give it up for the show – and at least no one forced you to kiss Adolfo like Shanon!!

oooh – check out those legs!!

doesn’t he look enthused??

now THIS is a Fairy Godbrotha’!!!

So the Fairy Godbrotha’s first task was to grant a wish – he first ran into Annika who must have been beautiful because Al, I mean FGB, seemed very interested in talking to her – as we talked to the lovely Annika, we found out that she had a boyfriend (Justin) whose only wish in life (work with me here) is to shoot the round of his life at one of the best golf courses in the world – so not only is FGB going to accompany Justin to the Four Seasons golf course Saturday morning (while waving his titanium wand and wearing his Fairy Godbrotha costume), FGB will also distract the other members of Justin’s group so that Justin is guaranteed to shoot thr round of his life – see, it’s not that hard to grant wishes!!  Plus there is some incentive for FGB because Annika said she is much more likely to date Big Al since he granted Justin’s wish – huh???  Oh well – it works for the bit!

Fairy Godbrotha’s second task for the day was to get thrown out of the Starbucks – except we can’t call it Starbucks – we have to call it Dartrucks – or Flarmucks – or Carsucks – but we all know that it’s the place that sells the deliciously overpriced caffeine treats and the yummy espresso brownies – now in the past, Big Al was thrown out of this very same coffee establishment as another character – I believe it was cymbal man – he was even banned from returning – but that mean old barista has since moved on and there was another woman who was more than accommodating – so accommodating that a 6’4″ black man wearing a pink tutu and a boa and sporting boobs bigger than my baby belly could not get thrown out of the store – even after promoting his own coffee shop around the corner selling brown flavored coffee – even after falsely announcing to everyone that the Starbucks coffee would be free all day – even after going behind the counter to make his own coffee and possibly destroy expensive coffee machinery that a poor Mexican bar owner couldn’t possibly afford to replace – still, the lovely barista was kind as she could be to the Fairy Godbrotha and Big Al had to return to the show with the dejected feeling of failure – I have to admit, I thought it was pretty funny – that is until we overheard Big Al privately berating himself – at least he thought it was private – Al was having somewhat of a Come To Jesus moment with himself and didn’t know he was still on air – I felt a little sorry for Big Al when he worried about getting fired and deemed his bit “not good” – I mean what’s a black man gotta do to get kicked out of the Starbucks that he’s already been banned from

About 2 weeks ago, J Si lost his wallet – he was kind of confused about the last time he actually had it and really thought he had left it at a restaurant – he wandered around here for a couple of days complaining about his wallet being missing and even waited a couple of days to report everything because he wanted to see if anyone was using his cards – after a few days, he just assumed someone had taken the cash and tossed the wallet – so he went through the hassle of cancelling his bank cards and replacing his driver’s license and credit cards – in fact, he still hasn’t received all of his replacements yet – then yesterday after the show, we were all sitting around the studio – J Si stood up from his chair and looked down and out of the middle of nowhere, there was his wallet lying on the ground – he has no idea where it came from but the only logical explanation is that it was in his jeans – but where in his jeans??  Wouldn’t he have noticed if they were in a pocket when he put them on??  wait, maybe it was a gift from the Fairy Prombrother –  that  wand was good for something  after all

I know I said this last week – but I really hate Rich – I know you’re not supposed to say hate and hate is really a strong word but you know what – blah, blah, blah – the other thing is that I am fiercely protective of my people – and while as a show, sometimes we argue and fight – at the end of the day, we really love each other and will protect each other to the end – ok, so now that you have the background …

The running joke on the show is that Rich was greatness and that J Si can’t live up to Rich’s name – notice how I said “joke” – so to get back at Kidd for always singing Rich’s praises – last week, J Si decided to do one of Rich’s bits better than Rich – J Si decided to do the Musical Movie Review for the movie The Love Guru – now anyone who heard the entire bit completely understood this – everyone but Rich that is – wait, I take that back – Rich understood it – he just chose to ignore it for the sake of a bit for his show – talk about “TOOOT TOOT’ – Rich decided to pull the audio of J Si’s version of the Musical Movie Review and completely rip it on his show – but that wasn’t until he made it sound like J Si tried to take over the bit as his own – he neglected to mention the part that J Si made it quite clear that it was Rich’s bit – instead, Rich went on and on about how J Si and  KKITM steal his bits and how he is the greatest thing since sliced bread – bored yet??  Well how about the part where Rich thinks so highly of himself that he actually sent audio of him ripping our bit on his show to Kidd – now, I’m sure that Kidd and other Rich defenders would say that Rich was giving us a heads up – but i don’t think that’s why he did it – he did it because he knew we would talk about it which will in turn make people talk to him – gee, narcissistic much?

Actually, I was kind of glad this came to light – because it did something for us too – it showed Rich’s true colors – for all of you Rich supporters who thought Rich was so original and so funny – now you can see Rich for who he really is – a rude, self-righteous jerk who thinks he created radio – never mind the fact that he has gone from show to show recreating bits as if they were original ideas that he “just” came up with – some of you will remember Adolfo’s first kiss – no, not the “first” kiss that Rich had Adolfo recreate for his show in Boston – his real first kiss that occurred on KKITM where Adolofo kissed Shanon – Or maybe you’ll remember how when Rich was here, he went on and on about how he got national exposure for holding up the “Iron My Shirt B****” in Augusta at the Masters when Martha Burk protested – but when he talked about it, he left out the “B****” part – and why is it that when he sent Adolfo to recreate that bit at Hillary Clinton’s rally, he left the “B****” off the sign – oh, is big, bad “I’m a rock radio guy” Rich scared of the Secret Service??   Funny how on our show Rich portrayed himself as a nice and sweet, Kidd’s Kid loving, kind and good hearted Catholic but over on his new show, he’s the “I wouldn’t be caught dead listening to that Top 40 drivel” hardass?  Why?  Because he’s fake – he’s insincere and he’ll do or say whatever is necessary to get what he wants – and hey, if that’s who you really are – then I can’t be mad at you for that – but don’t pretend to be something that you’re not – and that was my biggest issue with Rich – he came to our show and cheesed and grinned and fooled people into believing that he was this funny, sweet guy instead of someone who would totally misrepresent a situation and slam someone he barely knows just to get a good (or what he thought was good) bit –

And lest you think that I’m just bitter towards Rich – here’s just a sampling of what the Chat Room had to say about Rich

Nonenonenone – I have an extreme dislike for Rich now after hearing all of that – I personally liked him on the show but hearing him now towards a different audience is just…wow

Allegedlyme – If this is Rich’s M.O., then doesn’t that make him a wannabe shock jock who in turn is ripping off people like Howard Stern?  This Rich dude sounds like yet another dumb radio jock who has his button stuck on ‘god’s gift to the world”

SpeedHighway – He took J-Si’s joking bit of the musical movie review and basically flamed it over the air. His response was about 40% cussing and 100% BS.

Ross – Here’s the bottom line, on-air Rich has a lot of funny bits. However, since Rich has gone to the WBCN network his true colors are displayed because he took J Si and did a punk move by trashing him on air. Rich is perfect in the geared to male market because he brings the ratings because he’s “racy” on the air

All i have to say now is good riddance Rich – I hope that you and the sainted Mary and your blessed child live a wonderfully happy life – I truly do – I’m just glad that while Rich is making stupid faces and annoying voices and grabbing and pulling at all of his orifices, he’s no longer doing it here!!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Ruben Studdard and his fiancé have applied for a marriage license

#4 – Larry Birkhead bought Anna Nicole’s Playboy lingerie for their daughter

#3 – Audrina Patridge vacuums in high heels and lifts weight while watching tv

#2 – Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri are gonna think about having a baby

#1 – Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon may be headed for divorce

Erika Super Hot bailed on her date with Andrew – instead, Brandy came – Brandy is the girl that Al went on a date with after his 28 mile bike ride – and you know that she has to be a nice person if she sat through a date with stinky Al – the date was to happen at the Foundation Room at the House of Blues – which, if you’ve never been is ultra swanky and ultra cool – Andrew, knowing that this was a step above than your average bar asked Al what the dress code was – Al replied (by text message of course) that Andrew should wear a suit – poor Andrew – I’m guessing that 22 year old guys who normally dress like 10 year olds only have one suit – and Andrew’s happens to include a suede jacket – um, it was 100 degrees here yesterday – stupid Al – that wasn’t very nice at all – the other nice not nice part was that Al pumped Andres up to Brandy by misrepresenting Andrews looks – he’s not what I would call tall or buff – but he is a very nice person – I guess that combined with Andrew’s pick up lines of “you have very, very nice bangs” and his incessant talk of video games was enough to win her over – at least temporarily because she didn’t bolt – the non drinking Andrew was talked into doing a shot (a wimpy Chocolate Cake shot, but a shot nonetheless) and I guess that gave him a little liquid courage because Andrew was able to score a goodnight kiss – ok, so it was behind the ear – but that counts, right??

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID – yeah, it just doesn’t get old

Girls will be girls i guess

Don’t stick your fingers in there

No, I’m not gonna tell her that – you’re crazy

Because it’s cleaner down there

I usually give it to your dad so he can lick it

Talk about missing the boat – if we had only thought if this idea before these guys – Kellie grinds her teeth so badly that she needed to get a crown yesterday – too bad we didn’t know about this little invention before yesterday – Kellie does find David Letterman very sexy – what better way to win him over than to have his face imprinted on your teeth

Coming up tomorrow – IMPROV!!!   I can tell you right now – this will be comedy gold – not necessarily in a “this is the most successful bit ever” way – more in a “please stop – you’re making my side hurt from laughing so hard” way – and no, I’m not overselling it – I have 3 words for you – Matadora de Chiste

Advertisements

3 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. Dianthe I’ll take Rich over you any day and I hate rich even when he was here.

  2. Your remix made me listen to the KPOD about Rich. He is a tool.

  3. Hey just catching up on the days I’ve missed. Love your remixes, but I have a question. You wrote under the hizzle that “Michelle Smith is mad about Heath Ledger’s estate.” Did you mean Michelle Williams or am I just Clueless?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: