J SI vs TACO BELL
A while back, J Si had a minor falling out with Taco Bell that had a not-so-pleasant ending – and even though J Si loves Taco Bell and eats there almost every day, the rift could not be repaired – so imagine how hurt he was when he turned on the tv and saw that Taco Bell had stolen his hip-hop drive thru bit – poor J Si – his feelings really were hurt, so he decided to go to Taco Bell and plead his case – after all, they stole his bit so shouldn’t they put him in the commercial – or at least give him a free meal?? And maybe it’s just me, but I’m thinking that bringing the video producer to help you isn’t really the best way to get that accomplished – but he did it anyway – he took Andrew “what are you taaaaalking about” Video Guy as his sidekick – now take into consideration that Andrew cannot rap – we know because Kidd tried to help him out by teaching him to sing “Crank That” by Souljah Boy – he even gave him the words – but it was terrible – really bad – not good – and you’d think that would be enough – but as it turns out, Andrew can’t really read all that well either – boys and girls, this is what too many video games does to your brain – I guess there’s a reason why he’s the video guy and not on air – anyway, Andrew tagged along as J Si’s sidekick and in case there was any doubt – the bit went nowhere fast – Andrew can’t keep a beat and couldn’t manage to throw his 2 lines in at the right time – plus, J Si got into it with the Taco Bell worker – well, as much as one can when you’re only come back is repeating what the person just said:
“You watch too much tv” – Taco Bell worker
“No, YOU watch too much tv” – J Si
Good come back J Si
FUN WITH THE CHAT ROOM
For someone who claims to be so super tech savvy, I think Kidd missed the boat on his fancy 2.4 GHz $40 “intercom system” – it’s not really an intercom system – they’re more like modern day walkie talkies – and truth be told, they don’t work that well – they’re extremely bulky (they’re designed to sit on a desk) and it’s just plain hard to hear – especially when you send your producer down the hall to test out how well they work – poor Shanon – there really isn’t anyone who gives it up for the show more – which is why she didn’t bat an eye when Kidd said, “hey Shanon – go out in the hall and see if we can still hear you” and then sent someone to go lock her out – though it did give Kidd a chance to play around with the intercom without Shanon telling him to go to break – with me in the Geek Room and Kidd in the studio, he proceeded to ask questions about the Chat Room and what everyone was talking about – too bad he wasn’t impressed with the chatter – the biggest question that day “why is Kellie in a separate room?” – Kidd’s answer “GET OVER IT!!” – I know, I know – it’s an annoying question, but inquiring minds want to know – the other big question is “what does Kidd do during the break?” – but I digress – Kidd wanted to know what the second biggest topic in the chat room was – um, your tight purple shirt Kidd – see, sometimes it’s better to just let it go
THE WORST INTERVIEW EVER
I’ve been listening to KKITM for a VERY long time and I’ve worked here for a long time too – and I have to say that this is probably the worst interview we’ve ever done – I wish it was Kidd’s fault – because then I could tease him mercilessly about it and anytime he tried to give me attitude, I could say “oh yeah, well remember that Bruce Willis interview …” – and then he’d have to shut up – but no matter what Kidd says – this was NOT his fault – Bruce Willis is just a jerk – and he kind of has that air about him – you know, a little too cool for the room – but you’d think that he would at least be friendly – especially since he’s promoting a movie – I know the press junket must be a beating -but if you hate it THAT much then maybe you should tell your people that you don’t want to do interviews – you’re Bruce Willis – you’re a big enough star that you shouldn’t have to do press – but no – instead, you do interviews and act like a complete jerk to the people that interview you – the whole time Bruce acted completely bored and uninterested and when Shanon took pictures, the nicest thing he could say was, “Are you gonna be doing this the whole time? ” ugh – and I won’t even get into the fact that he totally sounded like Mr. Mumble Man the entire interview – you could hardly understand him – which wasn’t so bad since the only time he acted remotely interested is when he talked about elevators, 9/11 and the World Trade Center – and then after all of that, he just got up after the interview was over and didn’t say bye – and didn’t take pictures even though he said he would – and even after all of this, the worst part was that Kidd beat himself up about it – he really thought that there was something he could have done to have made this interview better – I have new for you – there wasn’t – Bruce Willis is just a jerk – but it didn’t stop Kidd from beating himself up over and over again on the ride home with Shanon – and the more he talked about it, the more he became sad … and depressed … and despondent – to the point where he decided to run the car off the road and take his life – along with Shanon’s – good thing cats (and DJs) have nine lives – how do you think they survive all of those failed bits??
I don’t know what was funnier about Kinsey calling in this morning – the fact that Kinsey got a job as a lifeguard or the fact that she started every single question that she asked Freddy with “Freddy, you’re hot!!”
First of all – whoever hired Kinsey to be a lifeguard should be fired – here’s what I envision Kinsey’s day as a lifeguard – her putting on suntan lotion (not sunscreen, suntan lotion) and then adjusting her chair in the perfect sun position – she’ll be reading (and I use that word lightly)a huge stack of Glamour, Cosmo and Vogue magazines and will have someone bringing her Cosmos all afternoon – at no point will she be looking for drowning children – and do you really think she’ll administer mouth-to-mouth to some snotty nosed kid? Um, not so much! Plus she admitted that she won’t jump in the pool on the days she colors her hair – DUH. GO TO SCHOOL!
But one part of Kinsey’s “lifeguard” position she was willing to do was interview Freddy – apparently the lifeguard association has a newsletter called “Shallow – because most people drown in the shallow end – and the newsletter is handwritten because “if you’re hot you don’t have to know how to type” – I guess I missed that day of lifeguard school
DIE DIE DIE
If you’ve heard Emma Kelly call out “DIE DIE DIE”, you’ve probably erupted in laughter – but it’s even funnier if you heard her scare the crap out of Kidd – Nanny Laura brought Emma Kelly to the studio at the end of the show so that Kellie could see her before she went to Freddie’s for the day – Emma Kelly is starting to expand her vocabulary and can say, Mommy, Daddy, puppy, Laura and … “DIE DIE DIE”- it all started when Kellie was on the phone with her BFF Tommie Jean – Kellie tends to be extremely Southern when talking to Tommie Jean and said something to the effect of “I could have just DIED” – and from the back seat of the car, she heard “DIE DIE DIE” – note to self: stop cussing NOW!! Anyway, and the phrase was born – so while Emma Kelly was at the studio, Kellie tried as hard as she could to get Emma Kelly to repeat the infamous phrase – and she would say it, but not with the fervor of before – so the show went ahead with the show sign off, “I’m Kidd Kraddick” … “DIE DIE DIE!!!” – BWAAAAHHHHH – poor Kidd – “stop it – you’re freaking me out Satan Baby” – so they started again, “I’m Kidd Kraddick … I’m Kellie Rasberry … I’m Big Al” – “DIE DIE DIE” “Alright child from the burning embers of Hell – STOP IT!!” yelled Kidd – see, that’s what you get for giving Kellie a hard time all these years – you knew it would finally catch up with you!!
SUCKS TO BE ME
Oh – I miss it sucks to be me!! And it was weird to hear this again because I actually put all these calls on air! If you’re a new listener, It Sucks To Be Me originated when Caroline had a meltdown and complained about how “it sucks to be me” – and I think we can all relate, because no matter how insignificant the problem, we’ve all had moments where we thought “it sucks to be me” – but when you’re a teenage girl, every single minor issue can totally send you into a tailspin – oh how I can’t wait for Sydney to be a teenager …NOT! Anyway, some of the standouts were the girl who couldn’t decide whether to go to school at Alabama or Clemson – the show recommended Clemson because they have a better mascot (a tiger) than Alabama with that whole “roll tide” thing – then there was the girl who was on her way to work only to be fired – she said she didn’t know why but if that was really the case, why would she think her job was in jeopardy – then there was the 18 year old girl who still isn’t allowed to date or wear makeup – yeah, it really sucks to be her – but you know who it’s really gonna suck to be? Her dad the first time she comes home from college – as Kidd pointed out, kids who aren’t allowed any freedom in their teen years generally go off to college and become THE wildest kids there – a little taste of freedom is a small price to pay, Dad – the last thing you want is the kid who goes buck wild after being “sheltered” for 18 years – I wish we had kept her number – she graduated in May and should be headed to college in a few weeks – I’d kill to talk to her in December!!
There are times when I love Big Al today – because he truly is one of the sweetest people I know – and then there are days where I just want to SHAKE HIM!!!! Because he’s so dang – well, emotionally inept – I will say that he does make the effort to try and be better – like with the exit interview – Al thought it would be a good idea to talk to his dates at the end and ask them to rate the date and see what he could do better – seems like a good idea, right? Yeah, except that Al interviewed her with THE oogiest voice I’ve ever heard come out of his mouth – not his “I’m a smooth DJ voice” he used in The Riff or his “sexy, deep Barry White voice” (which may have been what he was going for) – instead, Big Al busted out with some scary, oogey “I’m going to molest you with my voice” voice – ew. And rather than paying attention to the constructive feedback – he chose to point out the fact that his date was unable to pronounce the word “texts” and instead pronounces it “texas” – then after he announces that her mispronunciation is a deal breaker, he has the nerve to ask for a kiss – but then he doesn’t even have sense enough to just flat out ask for it – instead, he says “kissy, kissy” – I can’t decide if he sounded like a 7 year old boy who caught his big sister with her boyfriend or a dirty old man trying to, well you know – either way, it was just wrong! But there was one thing that made listening to this painful bit worth it – after all leaned in for the “kissy kissy”, Miss “texes” looked at all and said, “You’re so gay!” – if that’s not a date ender, I don’t know what it is
HOW SORRY IS BIG AL??
Remember back when Kellie was pregnant?? Kellie and Al had to go to Myrtle Beach for an appearance and it was a harrowing experience, to say the least – the trip home started off badly when Kellie was nearly plowed down by two impatient women who were ready to get off the plane the minute the plane hit the runway – don’t you just love those people? Hello – it’s not like you can go anywhere until they open the doors – but that didn’t stop these two women on the commuter plane into Charlotte – they were bound and determined to get off that plane, even if they had to climb over a pregnant Kellie (sitting in her aisle seat) to get there – fast forward to the flight from Charlotte to Dallas – when they tried to make the connection, Kellie was informed that she had somehow been kicked from the system – the gate agent didn’t seem to think it would be a problem since she had already bought and paid for the seat – Kellie just needed to check in at the gate – no problem – except that the flight was completely full, oversold and had a standby list of 9 people – of course they didn’t find this out until Al got his seat on the plane – so being the gentleman that he is, Big Al gave up his ticket for Kellie, right? No? well then he must have said to the gate agent, isn’t there anything you can do – we’re traveling together and I can’t leave her here alone because she’s pregnant” – no? huh uh – what he did do was get in line to get on the plane and leave Kellie standing there – thank God for the wonderful ticket agent though – when she realized that Big Clueless Al was going to leave Kellie in Charlotte, pregnant and alone, she looked at Kellie and said, “you’re getting on that plane” – now, just for the record, Kellie should have been on the flight all along – she never should have been on the standby list – she paid for and had a seat, she just somehow got bumped – so, Kellie gets on the flight and what does Al do – apologize profusely for being a dolt? No – he attempted (note: attempted) to be funny and loudly started saying “pregnant woman coming through – that’s my wife but it’s not my baby” as he and Kellie got on the plane – can’t you just see a red faced Kellie embarrassingly try to explain to the woman next to her that Al is (thankfully) not really her husband – see, Big Al lives in a world where EVERYONE knows who he is – and maybe at home – but not in CHARLOTTE!! Of course there was no way we could pass on commentary from the listeners – the best call was from the listener who said she was so nauseated by Big Al that she was probably going to throw up all over her windshield and cause an accident – Al’s response – “can you tell me what your MySpace is so I can see what you look like?” ::shaking head:: there are NO words!
Al had one of his many match.com dates and decided to ride his bike to the date – why? He said it was because he was trying to be more “green” – plus he was sitting on the patio (at Primo’s, of course) so he didn’t think it would be a big deal if he was funk nasty for his date – I would question this logic, but it’s Big Al – so really, why bother? Let’s just go with it – I could give you the details of the date – but I think we can all predict what the outcome would be – the good stuff began when Kidd asked him what happens when it’s time to go home – you know Al had a couple of alcohol treats at Primo’s – so does he ride his bike home? And can you get a DUI when you’re on a bike? As it turns out, Big Al called a cab and threw his bike in the back, but we did have a couple of people who got in trouble for driving while biking – the first woman was stopped by the cops and she might have been able to play it off – except a beer bottle fell out from under her shirt when she got off the bike – BWAAAHHHH!! Then there was the woman whose husband spent 6 months in jail for drunk bicycling – he needed more beer and obviously couldn’t have been too drunk – because he had the sense to figure out that he would need something to carry the beer home in – so he threw on his backpack and headed for the beer store – but on the way home, he ran into a mailbox – so he left the bike and started home – when the cops stopped him, they realized that he had some warrants out and he ended up serving 6 months in jail – that alone was pretty funny and we could have ended the bit there – but you know Big Al – he’s always gotta take it a little further:
“I have to know where you live” – Al
“Bridgeport” – caller
Okay – glad I know that …
FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW
Shanon doesn’t think he’s cute cause he doesn’t have breasts – Kidd talking about one of the Fantasy Fan entries
FUNNIEST CONVERSATION OF THE SHOW
“Everything’s funnier naked” – J Si
“I know I am” – Kidd
J SI’S SHOUT OUT OF THE DAY
I was mowing lawns for a living – SHOUT OUT!!!!
MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT OF THE SHOW
BGJ recommending Spotted Dick as a yummy traditional English dessert that we don’t have in America – but because sometimes it’s hard to understand BGJ, Megg said, “I ain’t eating nobody’s spotty dick”
KIDD KRADDICK IMPERSONATION OF THE DAY
Impersonating Kellie at Boot Camp
“SAVE THAT” OF THE DAY
“Anything spongey with raisins – I’ll try it” – Kellie
DARK SIDE KELLIE
“Yeah, Khloe Kardashian strikes me as a BIG prayer” – Kellie – um, Kellie – is that what Jesus would do??
KELLIE RASBERRY “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME” MOMENT
Kellie admitted that she never killed herself because she was afraid she might miss something
THINGS I LEARNED ON THE SHOW TODAY
Kellie thinks Shanon’s dad is kinda hot
THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW
Kellie wants to know what the sleeping arrangements are for Morning Show Boot Camp
J Si wants to know why would you not want to play poker with a bunch of tigers? Because what if they turn out to be cheetahs – get it???
Shanon thinks she got mono from making out with Billy Bob Thornton
Al has 500 bees in a nest in his back yard
Kidd says Dark Knight may be the best motion picture ever made
Amy Winehouse is in the hospital … AGAIN
Chris Rock’s not baby mama is writing a book about their affair
The victim of Shia LeBeouf’s car crash told Shia to flee the scene
Mario Lopez is the new host of Extra!
Andrew has jury duty today (and decided to wear t-shirt that says “I Make Stuff Up”) so we didn’t get any real update on his “relationship” (and I use that term lightly) with Sarah – I’m assuming there haven’t been any new developments so it’s pretty much the same thing that it’s been from jump – Kellie is still maintaining the stance that continuing the lie is a mistake – Kidd is maintaining the stance that all good relationships begin with a lie – at least all good romantic comedies do – but even still …
BRITISH LESSONS WITH BGJ
BGJ decided that for Andrew to really test his British accent chops, he should try talking with a real Brit – so BGJ had him call butcher shops in London to ask for advice about what to do about Sarah – after being hung up on a couple of times and being called a wanker, the bit was over – even though we thought talking with a butcher would be the way to go – after all … (get prepared – as Ross says, “Tangent train has left the station”)
A butcher is gonna give you the straight beef
A butcher is gonna slice it thin for ya
A butcher is gonna cut off the fat
A butcher is gonna give you the bloody truth
A butcher isn’t gonna leave you on the lamb
A butcher isn’t gonna leave you on the lamb
A butcher isn’t gonna leave you hanging on the hook
A butcher will understand what’s at steak – even if it’s very rare
A butcher is gonna make sure you’ve got two feet on the ground (beef)
Knowing that the pun is the lowest form of comedy, is it any surprise that Kellie couldn’t come up with one pun?
After the butcher puns, Kidd announced that he’s bored with the bit – so to breathe new life into it, Kidd is going to have BGJ call Sarah and pretend to be Andrew and tell all sort of outlandish lies that Andrew will have to maintain the next time he talks to her – except, we don’t have her phone number – hmmm … minor details in an otherwise perfect plan
Obviously, working here is already a dream job – so before we started listening to the Fantasy Fan entries, everyone on the show gave their dream jobs – Shanon wants to be the – Safari – J Si wants to be the Body Painter for the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition or a professional football player – Big Al wants to be a Nascar driver even though he drives like an 89 year old man – Kellie would like to be a Reality TV Host – and Kidd – um, a Catholic priest?? Okay … or professional golfer
So after yesterday’s debacle of entries, we’ve finally gotten in a few more and some of them are actually pretty good
Of course, none of them are as good as this one
NEW MUSIC TUESDAY
SHOWBIZ TOP 5
#5 – Mario Lopez is the new host of Extra
#4 – Denise Richards says that Charlie Sheen is abusing their children
#3 – The girl in the truck with Shia LeBeouf is his Transformers co-star and is dating Adrian Grenier
#2 – Miley Cyrus says that Hannah Montana is coming to an end but Disney says otherwise
#1 – Amy Winehouse was in the hospital last night for having seizures because of reactions to medication
MEMORIES FROM DJ SCHOOL PAST
The show is leaving for DJ School aka Morning Show Boot Camp and Kellie is dreading it – this is the first time that Kellie and Al have attended in a few years and Kellie especially is NOT looking forward to it for a couple of reasons – first, Kellie hates DJ school because the majority of women in radio are vulgar – they’re Sexy McNasty types who spend a lot of time trying to corner Kellie so that they can pick her brain about how to be successful in radio – the problem is that Kellie has no advice – if you let Kellie tell it, she just fell into this job and will be royally screwed if Kidd decides to fire her one day – so when baby DJs ask for advice, Kellie’s standard response is, “I have nothing to give – no secrets to share” – then there’s that whole “I get everyone fired” persona that she has to live up to – it doesn’t help that back in the day, Burt (one of the many producers that Kellie ran off) stood up in the middle of one of the seminars and pointed out Kellie as the most difficult part of his job – real nice, Burt – maybe he didn’t realize since he was 2nd in the long line of people to bite the Kellie Rasberry dust – first there was J.B., then Burt, then the first Rich, then the second Rich, then Taylor – you know what that makes me think – that maybe y’all should stop pissing off Kellie!
MUSIC THAT MAKES YOU COOLER
The show is going off to Morning Show Boot Camp aka DJ School – so we’ll be gone the rest of the week – but we’ve got a lot of good stuff planned for the Best of Shows – and don;t forget, if you haven’t heard it before, it’s new to you! plus, I’ll still be writing a Remix blog – so make sure you check in
Questions, comments, concerns?? Holla at me – email@example.com
KIDD’S FOOT IN MOUTH MOMENT
“What a shock – lol – you looked good” – Kidd’s text to Kellie about how she looked Friday night – he tried (unsuccessfully) to convince Kellie that he meant ‘well, duh – you always look good’ – but Kellie didn’t fall for it and I don’t think anyone else did either
FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW
“I don’t need that from you. You know what I need from you – content” – Kidd to Al when Al gave him the “wrap up” sign
“Way to have absolutely nothing – is it the mic??” Kidd to Andrew when he was talking on Big Al’s mic
THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW
Kellie is refusing to touch the pillow that was left outside the studio all weekend
J Si ran out of Vicodin and he’s still 2 weeks away from his dental surgery
Shanon is sad her month long birthday celebration is over
Al hung out with Morris Chestnut yesterday
Kidd says Dark Knight may be the best motion picture ever made
you know Kidd is getting desperate when he basically starts begging for an iPhone – he bought one while he was in California and then promptly lost it when he went to New York – and the demand for the iPhone is so super high that even great Kidd Kraddick can’t get a replacement iPhone – usually by this point, someone has called with a “hook up” to offer a phone – but that hasn’t happened which means there are just no phones to be had – maybe Kidd has finally learned his lesson – if you know anything about Kidd Kraddick, it’s that he is good to lose just about anything – and apparently he’s passed that trait on to Caroline because she just lost her Blackberry – which makes 4 phone sin 16 months – Kellie suggested they just make Caroline go without the phone 0 but as the parents of a teenager, it’s harder on Kidd and Carol because then they can’t keep tabs on her – gee, I can’t wait to get to that stage – can I just imbed a GPS chip in Sydney’s arm now?
Kim Kardashian is planning her wedding to Reggie Bush but he hasn’t asked her to marry him yet
Penn Badgley and Blake Lively are making out on the set of Gossip Girl and making people uncomfortable
Miley Cyrus is apologizing for making fun of Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato
Shia LeBeouf was arrested for DUI after flipping his car in L.A.
Kidd got to meet Not-Derek for the first time at the Freddy/Good Charlotte concert Friday night – he thought he was very nice – especially when Not-Derek offered to “get the hookup” for Kidd on a car service for Gavin DeGraw after his concert – the only thing was, when Not-Derek offered to get the car for Gavin, he didn’t mention that it would cost Kidd $75 – not that Kidd was opposed to paying – but Kidd (and the rest of the show) has a car/limo service that we use (the great and wonderful Doc) and if Kidd was going to pay someone, he would prefer to pay Doc – but when Not-Derek offered to “get the hookup”, Kidd assumed it was free – see, the whole “hookup” phrase is a little vague – does “hookup” mean free or does it mean make a connection? And then is it up to the hooker upper or the hook upee to make the clarification of whether free is involved – I’m thinking that if it’s gonna cost you some money – then it’s up to you to make the clarification – that way the hooker upper can either say – it’ll only be $100 (when the normal cost is $200) or “don’t worry – I got this” – see, confusion eliminated! At any rate, the show went back and forth about when we get the hook up and when we don’t and what it costs and what it doesn’t – and we probably could have gone on about it another 20 minutes – but Kellie pointed out that we’re all incredibly spoiled – and that pretty much brought the hook up talk to a screeching halt – I mean, she’s right – we’re so used to people providing stuff for the show, that we automatically assume that things are free when people offer us the hook up – yeah, it doesn’t suck to be us – and although we sometimes complain about it, we really are grateful
KINSEY AND PAUL UPDATE
Kinsey and Paul are friends again – Paul was coming to the concert and texted J Si early in the evening and said he was worried about it because he knew Kinsey was going to be there and that it would be awkward – so Kinsey sucked it up and told Paul that she was over it and couldn’t they just move on like it had never happened – I was pretty impressed because if it had been me, I probably would have held onto it a little longer – but clearly, Kinsey is a bigger person than me!
iTUNES NUMBER ONES
Heaven Sent – Keyshia Coles
Te Quiero – Flex
Good Time – Alan Jackson
Call My Name – Third Day
I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry
Al is about 99% sure that he’s found the home of his dreams – or at least the home of his dreams for the next year – and according to Kellie, she needs to renegotiate her contract because Al’s contract is WAY better than hers if he can afford to move into this place – they have a 24 concierge (pronounced con-see-errrr – no G) that can pretty much provide you with anything you could ever want – if you want to take a class on something, they’ll find someone to come teach it to you – they have a 24 hour valet that will bring your car around at no charge (other than your exorbitant rent) anytime you want it – they have a personal trainer who is on call 24 hours a day – a movie theater with a fully stocked chocolate bar – a fully stocked community refrigerator that’s available whenever you want it – they even have valet banking – you just call down to the bank and tell them you need $200 and they’ll bring it to you – of course I guess you have to have it in your account – that’s a downside – but basically, anything you can dream up, this place has – and the cost of these wonderful services – well, I don’t know exactly – but based on what Kellie has told me, I’m guessing 3 to 4 times the normal, everyday average – you know what that says to me? Big Al is overpaid and I’m underpaid
We haven’t talked to Kinsey in a while – I guess between her being mad at J Si and Paul and traveling Chile looking for a RICH Latino man (oops was that in my outside of my head voice? Sorry J Si😉 ), she’s been too busy for us – but today Kinsey calls in to weigh in on the whole Miley Cyrus vs. Demi Lovato/Selena Gomez thing – Kinsey is no longer on the Hannah Montana bandwagon because she was making fun of Demi Lovato on YouTube – and you know what, I don’t blame her – I think I’ve had abut enough of Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana – in the words of the great Kellie Rasberry – I think she’s gotten a little too big for her britches – I know she’s got more money than God – but as far as I’m concerned – she can take her money and her snotty attitude and disappear into child star oblivion – I’m over her – but in case you’re not and you’re wondering what all the fuss is about – here it is
This is the video that Demi Lovato and Selena Gomez made
And this is the video that Miley and her BFF Mandy made where they make fun of Demi and Selena
in other Kinsey news – Kinsey’s hair dresser, Tony, found Kinsey’s first grey hair – and now she thinks she’s on the fast track to O.L.D. – so she decided to make a list of things that she’s wants to do before she’s old as dirt – I mean 30 –
Kinsey ‘s 30 Before 30 List
Have a year where she wears a different pair of designer shoes every day – when Kinsey says designer, she means Chanel, Manolo, Robert LeClerge, Michael Kors, etc – not Steve Madden and Nine West
She wants to go on a date with Shia LeBeouf – but she wants to drive
She wants to be on The Hills and have Spencer hit on her so that J Si will have a reason to kick his butt
She wants to be the President for one day sp that she can change Casual Friday to Body Paint Friday – just for the record, I’m calling in sick on that day
She wants to go to the club and have every girl there wear a Kinsey tshirt
She wants to party on a big boat
She wants to party on a big bus
She wants to party on a smaller bus – like the short bus that J Si used to ride on because he’s “stupid” – her words, not mine!
She wants to be an expert on something like contemporary microbiotics
She wants to party on a bus that turns into a boat
She wants to party on a house that turns into a boat that turns into a bus that turns back into a house
I don’t know about you, but I think J Si is gonna need a raise!!
Dr. Randy Pausch died on Friday – in case you don’t know who he is, he’s the professor from Carnegie Mellon University who announced during his infamous “Last Lecture” that it would be his last because he was dying of pancreatic cancer – but instead of being a sad and morose speech – it was all about how he intended to live the rest of his life and how he wanted to set an example and teach his children – he was the father of 3 small children and although his lecture was for his kids, his lecture was watched by millions on the Internet – if you missed it, you should definitely check it out – it is completely awe inspiring that gave his annual speech and gave his last lecture – everyone thought he was leaving Carnegie Mellon but as it turns out – he was dying of pancreatic cancer and was dying – father of 3 little kids – his last lecture was in September 2007 and was watched by millions on the Internet – here is the entire lecture – if you have the time, definitely check it out – you won’t be sorry
SHOWBIZ TOP 5
#5 – Kathy Griffin’s assistant, Jessica, quit because Kathy is just too demanding
#4 – Bono has been asked to be the godfather of Brangelina’s twins
#3 – Lindsay Lohan was run down by a motorcycle or a bike or it didn’t happen
#2 – Christian Bale’s sister asked him for $200k and the “assault” occurred after his mom and sister criticized his wife
#1 – Shia LeBeouf got drunk, overturned his truck and had to have surgery on his hand
I think this was supposed to be Big Al’s weekend Rap Up – but it turned into what I’ll call “KKITM – the Whitest Morning Show In America” – eh, there are probably “whiter” shows out there – but I often refer to our show as the Whitest Morning show in America because it boggles my mind how little the show knows about Black Pop Culture – I don’t expect them to know EVERYTHING – but come on – they didn’t even recognize Morris Chestnut – and I bring up Morris because AL ran into him yesterday and hung out with him – okay, so when I say “hung out” – I mean “had a minute long conversation with” – but still – it was Morris Chestnut – almost every black person knows Morris – he’s starred in at least 50% of movies with an all black cast – and even if they don’t recognize his name or remember the movies he was in, they know his face – cause he’s HOT!! But apparently the word of me and Big Al wasn’t good enough – so J Si volunteered to go out and ask black people if they recognized a picture of Morris Chestnut – I guess we’ll find out who was right tomorrow – but in the meantime, do you know who this hot man is??
BRITISH LESSONS WITH BGJ
BGJ once again made a concerted effort to help Andrew continue the lie that he’s British and lives in London – but before we got to that, we learned a few details about Andrew – like the fact that he went to community college for 3 ½ years before he dropped out to work for KKITM – video producer for a radio show – um, good move dude – I bet your parents are proud – video producer for a radio show – anyway, since Andrew is still sticking with his story about being British – BGJ is still trying to help Andrew perfect a British accent – the problem is that Andrew tends to sound more like a cartoon character than a Brit – and BGJ has figured out that while Andrew is capable of pronouncing a specific word here or there, he can’t manage to say an entire sentence – and speaking of specifics, we also learned that Andrew can’t say the word ‘specific’ – you can just imagine the fun Kidd had with that!! So today’s British sentences were:
“Mate, that bird is fit” aka “Dude, that chick is HOT!”
“Oy oy Sarah, Fancy a snog?” aka “Hey Sarah, wanna make out?”
“Can I have a pint please mate, cheers” aka “can I have a beer, dude? Thanks”
Suffice it to say that Andrew didn’t come anywhere close to saying any of these sentences with a British accent – but when Andrew said, “Oy oy Sarah, Fancy a snog?” instead of saying ‘snog’, he said ‘smog’ – and then Kidd said, “Oy Oy Sarah how about some air pollution?” – and THAT was funny!! Next up in British Lessons With BGJ – Andrew has to call England and talk to people with his terrible British accent – what’s that I smell?? Yep, failure.
FANTASY FAN CONTEST
I don’t get it – one of the top questions I get from people is if we have any openings and how can they come work for the show – so where are all of those people now that we’re giving you the opportunity to actually be a part of the show for an entire day – the deadline for the Fantasy Fan contest is tomorrow at midnight and we have 8 – count them – 8 freaking entries – are you serious?? That’s it? I’m shocked – so o try and get a few more entries – we eliminated the 100 friends requirement – personally, I think that sucks – only because I think this whole “I can’t get 100 friends” line is crap – back when I did the Kidd’s Krib contest, I planned – the day before the contest started, I sent an email to every person in my address book and told them all to send emails to their friends – and so on and so on – see how that works – but whatev – I’m not going to focus on how lame people are – I’m just gonna say this is a way cool opportunity to be a part of the show – and it just got a little easier – all you have to do is make the ding dang video, post it on your page and then send us the link – personally, I’m putting my money on Chat Room Ross – I have to admit that his is the only video I’ve seen – and since I don’t get a vote, it doesn’t really matter – but he did put forth a lot of effort and really stepped it up – I’m not saying your video has to be as good as Ross’ – but you have to at least HAVE video – come on people – where ya’ at??
THE MOMENT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE WEBCAST
at the end of the show Shanon told Kidd we didn’t have time for the “Keep Looking Up” sign off because we were so late – so Kidd just said “BYE” and threw down his headphones and looked at Shanon as if to say “there – are ya happy now??” reality radio at its best!
MOST IRONIC THING AL SAID ON TODAY’S SHOW
“I would love to rub my stupid off” – oh, if only it was possible
FUNNIEST THING HEARD ON THE SHOW TODAY
The show listing black stereotypes that Big Al defies
Black people are all great at basketball
Black people are all great dancers
Black people are all speak cool with street lingo
Black people are overall generally athletic
Black people are all laid back and cool with the ladies
Black people father a lot of children out of wedlock – oops – well … is 2 a lot?
ANDREW SLAM OF THE DAY
“Are you not a little flabby??” – Kidd to Andrew after Kidd called him pasty and flabby
FUNNIEST CONVERSATION FROM THE SHOW TODAY
“Kellie, who do I ever talk bad about??” – Kidd
“RYAN SEACREST!!!” – Kellie, Al and J Si in unison
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“If you’re not married I’ll french ya” – Psycho Shanon
MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT ON THE SHOW
When Kidd repeatedly slammed Avril Lavigne (and deservedly so)and the guys from Boys Like Girls just sat there … uncomfortably
DIANTHE’S SAD MOMENT OF THE DAY
The news that my future BFF Nicole Richie didn’t make the trip to town because she’s working L **wipes tear**
THE BIT WE SPENT WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON
Trying to create a fake laugh track with the audience outside – it was a good idea, but a beating to listen to
THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW
Shanon has HUGE HUGE HUGE news that no one will believe
FLUSH THE FORMAT
Since You’ve Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson
Wrong Way – Sublime
Culo – Pitbull
What’s Love –
One More Time – Daft Punk
Let’s Get It Started – Black Eyed Peas
Baby Got Back – Sir Mix A Lot
Fantasy – Ludacris
Take Our Clothes Off – Gym Class Heroes
Barbie Girl – Aqua
Mash Up – This Love-Maroon 5/Naughty Girl – Beyonce
Rise – FloBots
Drop It Like It’s Hot – Snoop Dogg/Led Zeppelin
Let Me Ride That Donkey – 69 Boys
Spencer Pratt wants John McCain’s people to provide him and Heidi with first class tickets to Iraq
Shanna Moakler and Kim Kardashian got into a cat fight
Mariah Carey wants Nick Cannon to be a famous DJ
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt went through in vitro to have twins
Mason Musso and Trace Cyrus started Metro Station
Trace is Miley Cyrus’ brother and Mason’s little brother Mitchel plays Oliver on “Hannah Montana”
They were discovered through a college program called “Walking Eye” where interns find music for Columbia Records
The intern found them through MySpace with a song called Kelsey
HOT OR COLD or WHO CAN GUESS SHANON’S BIG NEWS
Kellie guessed “Frenching” – warm
Al guessed “Toilet” – COLD
J Si guessed “A dude” – hot
Then J Si guessed “French kissing a dude celebrity” – HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!
SHANON FRENCH KISSED A CELEBRITY LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Shanon kissed Billy Bob Thornton – okay, she didn’t just kids him – she full on, open-mouthed French-kissed him – they were hanging out in the Foundation Room after the show and first Billy Bob kissed her friends Casey – then I guess he though t Shanon was feeling a little left out so he came in close, grabbed the back of her head and frenched her – OMG – I know it was sloppy seconds and all, but I’m still pretty sure I’d take that – there is something about him that is SO sexy – dirty sexy, but still sexy! And in order to keep it fresh in Billy Bob’s memory – Shanon is going to text his manager every day and ask her to remind Billy Bob – but now, the bar has been raised and Kellie is going to have to give it up for the show – that Curtis dude isn’t going to cut it anymore – after all Shanon kissed an Academy Award Winner – and she’s gonna be running around in a t-shirt that says “I French kissed Academy Award Winner Billy Bob Thornton” on the front and “I’m one degree from Angelina Jolie and Halle Berry” on the back – at least that’s the lead t-shirt nomination – runners up: Ross with “Shanon’s new song… I kissed Billy Bob and I liked it, the taste of his Viagra chapstick” and Beckybena, “i got celebrity sloppy seconds French kissed from Billy Bob”
here are the lips that french kissed Billy Bob Thornton
and here the lips that wanted to french Billy Bob Thornton
SHOWBIZ TOP 5
#5 – Dustin “Screech” Diamond is writing a tell all book about “Saved by the Bell”
#4 – Brooke Hogan may pose naked for Playboy
#3 – Brad and Angelina conceived their twins through in vitro
#2 – Shanna Moakler and Kim Kardashian got into a cat fight and Shanna threw a drink in Kim’s face
#1 – Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag are looking at a $12 million dollar home in Malibu
BRITISH LESSONS WITH BGJ
BGJ tried to Andrew tried to teach Andrew to speak with a British accent … again – I’m pretty sure it’s a lost cause – but hey – it’s not my time and it makes for good radio, right? The phrase of the day was “Sarah you’re fit” – which means, “Sarah, you’re hot” – BGJ tried to get Andrew to say it with passion – but the more BGJ tried to invoke some passion in Andrew, the more they both started to sound a little stalkerish – then they headed out to Chick Fil A to get try Andrew’s British voice on a real live person – after Andrew placed his order, it went something like this
BGJ: Where do you think he’s from?
Chick Fil A girl: Italy
BGJ: He’s British
Chick Fil A girl: Really????
Um, I think Andrew needs some more work
Good Charlotte was late because their tour manager stayed up late watching Bee Movie and they overslept
Joel says that Nicole gets up in the middle of the night with Harlow while he sleeps
Joel says that he and Nicole aren’t jealous
Benji says Nicole wears the pants in the relationship but Joel says its equal opportunity
Benji says that Paris runs him … maybe … a little bit
Benji is a little jealous even though Paris doesn’t do anything to make him jealous
Benji says he’s pretty biring and you’ll usually find him watching a DVD
If it was up to Benji, Paris would dress like a nun
Benji and Joel wrote Menudo’s new single with Frankie J
BOYS LIKE GIRLS
Performed their new single “Thunder”- amazing!!! And of course “The Great Escape” which is awesome acoustic
Martin is a fan of Broadway
John was in high school band
Bryan played football
Minutes into the show that it took before Kidd was wrong – he said it was Wednesday and it’s not – it’s Thursday
Minutes into the show it took to perform our first horribly offensive bit – Al and J Si attempted Chinese accents while “acting” as Chinese protestors at the Olympics
MOST EMBARASSING MOMENT OF THE SHOW
Kidd wrote a song for Bill Clinton’s brother, Roger, called “I’m Not The President’s Brother” – he was going to play the song for Billy Bob but he could only find the instrumental – but he didn’t know that until about 30 seconds into the song
MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENTs OF THE SHOW
Al telling Billy Bob about his dream that he kissed Don Cheadle
Billy Bob remembering that Big Al asked him about Halle Berry but Big Al didn’t
Kidd playing the “Al on Mr. Freeze” clip for the super hot Prima J girls
MOST ANNOYING BIT ON TODAY’S SHOW
Playing that stupid Avril Lavigne “Boyfriend” song in every freaking language for Prima J – yeah, if I never hear that again, it’ll be WAY too soon
FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW
He’s not on X, he’s on W – Kidd talking about how slow Andrew is
FUNNIEST CONVERSATIONS FROM THE SHOW TODAY
Are you on drugs – Kidd
No – well, what kind of drugs – J Si
And Andrew related …
Andrew trying to learn how to talk with a British accent
She’s gonna assume head injury – Kidd
She’s assume that without the accent – Al
Talking about the picture he sent to the WoW girl
Which picture did you send her? – J SI
YOURS!! – Al
THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW
Kellie’s daughter, Emma Kelly, had her first projectile vomiting experience … at Souper Salad
J Si might die in two weeks because he’s having surgery for the very first time
Shanon’s mic is broken
Al wants everyone to know that there are 154 days until Christmas
BGJ and his girlfriend are moving into a new apartment – but they may break up because they’re painting – and we all know how redecorating can destroy a relationship – BGJ and his girlfriend shopped for scented candles for an hour and a half – he would walk away and she would wait for him to come back until she would smell the second one – and then ended up buying the first one she smelled – if that isn’t a recipe for relationship disaster, I don’t know what is – but at least BGJ was able to find the piggy bank he’s been looking for – now he just needs to name it
Freddy is opening for Good Charlotte tomorrow night and in order to really fit in with the whole rock star image – he needs a hype man – now, the obvious choice is Big Al – because Al lives his life as a hype man – it’s who he is – it’s what he does – but since Kidd discovered Freddy, he wants a chance at being the hype man – and just like when you have kids, if you let one person do it, you have to let them all do it – so then we throw J Si into the competition – of course J Si is going to be questionable for the next couple of weeks because he’s on Vicodin due to dental pain – soooo … I’m putting my money on J Si – he’s comical enough as it is – but on drugs?? Comedy Gold!
Star magazine says Matthew Broderick is cheating on Sarah Jessica Parker
Nick Jonas and Selena Gomez have been secretly dating for months
Brad Pitt was caught driving a golf cart with Shiloh sitting on his lap
The National Enquirer is reporting that Lynne Spears ran over and killed a 12 year old boy in 1975
iTunes Top 5
5. Viva la Vida – Coldplay
4. 7 Things – Miley Cyrus
3. Burnin’ Up – Jonas Brothers
2. Disturbia – Rihanna
1. I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry
ANDREW ON AIR
Andrew has a girlfriend – well she’s not exactly his girlfriend – he hasn’t even met her – or talked to her – unless you count online – in case you don’t know, Andrew is one of those WoW people – and apparently this girl is a troll – a WoW troll – and her name is Sarah – and Andrew has fallen madly in love with her (even though he just “met” her on Saturday) – the problem is that she doesn’t live here – she lives in London – and it seems that Sarah is a British snob and hates Americans – I guess that makes her attractive to Andrew – why else would he lie and say that he also lives in London – oh, Andrew ::shakes head:: there are so many flaws with this plan – the first being that telling a HUGE lie is a really bad way to start a relationship – the second, don’t you think she’s going to figure out fairly quickly that you don’t actually live in London??
So rather than have Andrew go ahead and come clean with his lies, the boys encourage Andrew to continue the lie by teaching Andrew how to speak with a British accent – enter BGJ – can’t you see where this is going? In case you can’t, let me tell you – horribly, horribly wrong – so wrong that Kellie finally asked Andrew if he was even trying – yeah, it was that bad – bad enough that Chat Room Ross said, “I think it would be funnier if Andrew learned how to talk in a Spanish accent. That would make me laugh harder” – as if laughing harder at Andrew would be possible – I do have to give Andrew some credit though – when she asked him for a picture, Andrew sent her the icon he used on his Kiddnation page – though Ross called him out, “I’m surprised and very disappointed he didn’t say ‘I used my Avatar from Kiddnation'” – maybe Andrew isn’t the geek we all thought him to be – at any rate – the guys thought of a couple of ways for Andrew o continue this travesty of a mockery of a sham – the current plan is to have BGJ talk to her and to call her through the internet since he doesn’t have a London phone number – i’m going to be popping some popcorn because I can’t wait to see this crash and burn – though I have a theory that the show hasn’t considered yet – I think Sarah may be just as big a liar as Andrew – I think she may really live in Podunk, Middle of Nowhere – I mean think about it – a guy you met on line tells you he lives in the same metropolitan city as you and you don’t think to ask where in that city? If I lived in Houston and someone told me they lived in Houston, I would ask where in Houston – believe me – there’s a lot more to this story – so stay tuned …
And speaking of huge lies – Martha called in to tell us about her relationship that started with a huge lie – before the guy she was dating was actually her boyfriend – he told her that he was gay – and he was her gay BFF – he even introduced her to HIS boyfriend – then one day, he told her it was all a lie and that he was really straight and had lying about being gay so that he could get to know her – and get this – she believes him – they’ve been dating for 2 years, they’ve never had sex and she thinks it’s because he’s trying to protect her virtue – and just to find out how virtuous Martha really is – Kidd asked her “if previous partners were apples, how many apples have you eaten” – her answer? “the whole tree – cause that’s how us South Carolina girls do it” – yes, boys and girls – she’s from Kellie Rasberry’s hometown of Florence, South Carolina – it must be something in the water down there in Florence because our own Kellie Rasberry once dated a gay boy who insisted that he was straight – even though he frequently spent the night with his “BFF” and they slept in the same bed – I’m pretty sure that deep down, Martha knows that her man is gay – but just in case, here’s some back up from the Chat Room
Djskyy: girl, he’s gay
Mrs. Jane: “your gayyyyyyyyyyyyy” oh that foo is gay
Bailey RAH: he’s GAY
Ross: one year together and no sexy time? I couldn’t wait 5 minutes without waiting for sexy time
Chikki419: sooo gayyyyy
Freddy came in studio to wish Josh (Freddy’s bandmate) happy birthday – Josh is a bigtime artist who could be making a ton of money working with established artists – but he believes in Freddy so is working for a LOT less than he could get – so we surprised Josh by having his dad call in to tell him happy birthday – then we surprised him by telling him that we’re flying his dad in to see the House of Blues show tomorrow night – Josh hasn’t seen his dad in about 2 or 3 months and his dad hasn’t seen him perform in about 2 years and he just said that he really wished his dad could see him perform – so Josh is getting his birthday wish!
BILLY BOB THORNTON
WOW – I never thought I would say this – but I’m strangely attracted to him – I even had my picture made with him – I’ve never done that before – in the 5 ½ years that i’ve worked here – I’ve never had my picture made with a celebrity – but yeah, I’d do him – plus he remembered the previous interviews he’s done with the show – how cool is that?
RANDOM FACTS ABOUT BILLY BOB
He is the most famous person from his town, Hot Springs, Arkansas
Went to the Kansas City Royal’s training camp and planned to play professional baseball until he got injured
He always wanted to be in a band
Was in drama in high school because there were chicks in there and he wanted to get higher than a C in something
He accidentally became an actor
Mike and JD are the other guys in the band the Boxmasters and had to take an hour of media training
Billy Bob was wearing a George Clinton t-shirt – what could be cooler than that??
Here’s What Bugs Billy Bob
It’s not the people who walk up to him and do the Slingblade impression – it’s when someone walks up to him at the mall and says “my uncle can do you so good – he’s right over there buying tennis shoes – let me go get him” and because Billy Bob is super nice and cool, he ends up standing there for 20 minutes waiting for some stranger’s uncle to come over and do a crappy impression of him – then he has to lie and say it was great while they fumble with the camera they can’t seem to figure out so that they can take a picture
Weirdest Billy Bob Moment
A woman asked him to sign her dad’s artificial leg on the set of Friday Night Lights – shout out Odessa!!
Actors that Billy Bob would like to work with
BEHIND THE SCENES
Billy Bob’s manager – is there any doubt she got this job because she’s hot?? I mean come on – I’m a fan of the hooker heel – after all, I’m a girl who wore 4 inch heels throughout my entire pregnancy – but who really wears hooker heels at 7am???
SHOWBIZ TOP 5
#5 – The Sci-Fi Channel and Oxygen are bringing out new songs and the “Bad Girls Club is back for a third season
#4 – Heather Locklear has left rehab
#3 – A-Rod has been engaging in a little retail therapy to deal with his stress – to the tune of $50k at Barneys
#2 – Star magazine says that Matthew Broderick is cheating on Sarah Jessica Parker
#1 – Sources say Nick Jonas and Selena Gomez are a couple
Janelle and Jessica – they are cousins and so cute!!!
They were discovered by their manager Bruce in Rosemeade, California
They can’t remember the song they sang to Bruce to get them discovered
Their video has been viewed 6 million time son YouTube
They don’t speak Spanish but they live the Latino culture
if you’re not one of the 6 million people who have seen Prima J on You Tube – here’s your chance!
EWWWW MOMENT OF THE TODAY
Dude, you pee in bottles – Kidd to J Si – thanks, but i didn’t need a reminder
J SI’S “I’M GREAT AT EVERYTHING” MOMENT
J Si thinks he and George Clooney have about the same hotness
He’s thinks he’s about the same hotness as Brad Pitt
He absolutely thinks he’s better looking than Jake Gyllenhaal but will admit that Joe Jonas is better looking because he has cool hair
FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW
“That was some McDonalds sue me coffee” – Kellie commenting on the temperature of the coffee that she burned her hand on
ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW
“IAN!!! do you know what they told me?” aww – we’ve missed you Ian
THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW
Kellie’s week can’t get any worse
J Si had a dream about a slumber party at the Jonas Brothers’ house
Shanon’s voice is a mix between Fergie and Jesus
Al met 2 really cool chicks last night
Big Al met 2 British girls who are traveling the world and they’re staying in a hostel about 10 minutes away – the girls are in their early 20s and Al was amazed that they were able to take off that kind of time and that they could afford to travel the world at their age – Kidd says it’s because foreign countries aren’t as productive as Americans because they take so much time off – then he tried to call out BGJ by saying that the British never invented anything – Kidd says Americans invented the iPhone – BGJ says the British invented Jaguar (pronounced Jag-U-Are) and then Kidd said Americans invented Freedom – then BGK threw down the trump card – “The English invented The Office” – sorry Kidd – I’m not even a fan of The Office but BGJ schooled you on that one
Lauren Conrad is pulling the diva move
Christian Bale says he didn’t assault his mom and sister
Nelly and Ashanti have broken up and Nelly is now dating Joss Stone
Britney Spears was photographed smoking in front of Sean Preston
LOVE LETTERS TO KELLIE
If your girlfriend never wants to see you, she’s either bored with you or she doesn’t need you
If you’re the first girlfriend after your boyfriend’s damaged relationship, it sucks to be you
If the only thing you and your wife fight about is why you don’t put the toilet seat down, your life doesn’t suck – seriously?? GET OVER IT!!! Though I will thank you for your letter because it led to the new hit song, “I can flush a toilet with no handle bars”
HOME DEPOT SCAM
2 hot chicks come and clean your windshield and then ask for a ride to McDonald’s – they both climb in the backseat – on the way to McDonald’s they begin to undress and then one of them climbs in the front seat and starts kissing you while the other one steals your wallet – this is no Urban Legend – it happened to me on July 8th, 8th, 10th, (insert Looney Tunes song here …) – WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Omarosa vs. Wendy Williams
5 minutes of my life that I’ll never get back – are there 2 more annoying people on the planet? Add to that the fact that they were together – ugh. can someone poke me in the eye with a rusty nail now?? Wendy accused Omarosa of being an Angry Black Woman and Omarosa inferred that Wendy is a buffoon – Omarosa asked Wendy if she’s had a nose job – blah-blah-blah – I think they’re both about on the same level, Omarosa is just packaged a little better – I’m not sure how either one of them has managed to extend their 15 minutes but they’ve both made their careers on being obnoxious – I don’t know what Omarosa’s appeal is – and Wendy, well people watch her because she asks the hard core questions – but mostly because she’s a hot mess – I can’t believe Kidd compared Kellie to Omarosa – yes, Kellie can be direct and to the point, but she’s not rude and has manners – if you’ve got some time to waste, here’s the video – catch it before Fox removes it from You Tube
Random facts about the Flobots
They’re like the socially conscious rock/rap band
“No Handlebars” is about accepting your own power
“Rise” is about what you do with the power and how to make a positive change
Brer Rabbit was a teacher and Kenny O (drummer) worked with disabled adults
Mackenzie is the only girl and she’s a violist
If they were on a reality show, Mackenzie would kick Jesse (bass) off the island because he has cooler hair than her
They have a non-profit organization to promote the cause – fightwithtools.org
SHOWBIZ TOP 5
#5 – Nick Hogan will be 18 on Sunday and has to move to an adult facility
#4 – Sherri Shepherd is telling all her business including her crackhead sister, her promiscuity and her multiple abortions
#3 – Madonna is physically and mentally exhausted
#2 – Miley Cyrus says “7 Things” is not about Nick Jonas
#1 – Christian Bale is denying all assault allegations
If you want to see Freddy – come to the show on Friday – Freddy and his band are going to be the house band for the show on Friday and they’ll be set up across the canal and will perform during the breaks
I HATE KIDD KRADDICK
That’s what Kidd took away from a newspaper article that interviewed Jessica Billings – she works at Shipley’s Donuts in Tupelo and is helping to collect music and movies for the troops for an organization called Tunes 4 the Troops – she wants to be a DJ and in the interview she talked about how she listens to the station that we’re on ALL DAY LONG – until the Kidd Kraddick show comes on – then she changes the station – huh?? Are we that bad? so Kidd (being Mr. Non Confrontational) decided to call her – except we couldn’t figure how to call Shipley’s since we have that anonymous call feature on the phone – exactly how many morning radio DJs does it take to disable call rejection from your phone?? We were finally able to get Jessica on the phone and as usual, she changed her tune once we talked to her in person – “oh, that comment about you was supposed to be off the record – I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings – I really think y’all are funny – I just like to listen to music” – um, hello Miss “I Want To Be a DJ” – I hope you remember this moment when people want you to shut up and play music – anyway, she seems pretty desperate to get into radio because she thinks this Craig Horton dude is hot (and way hotter than Kidd Kraddick)and said she would sleep with him – um, ew. You’d sleep with Mr. Bean to get into radio? You do know that there is no money in radio, right? Take it from me! But Kidd took the high road and offered to give her $100 to donate to her music and movie drive – see, we’re nice people
no, this is not Mr. Bean – it’s Craig Horton
SWEET FANTASY FAN CONTEST
Each member of the show is going to pick one person for the Fantasy Fan contest – so, everyone decided to list some of the criteria that they’ll be looking for in the person they’ll choose
Kellie – basically, a lesser version of herself
1. Kellie has to be your favorite
2. Have to be excited to be here but not be an over the top trembling , shaking , crying, excited mess
3. Has to hold celebrities in a place of reverence because all celebrities are better than we are
4. Have to love doing stuff to you as much as Kellie does – manis, pedis, facials, etc.
5. Have to be pretty but in a “non-threatening to Kellie” way
Al – um, yeah – a hot chick
1. Has to look good in a bikini or bikini type bathing suit
2. Has to love the beach
3. Cannot be afraid to do a tequila a shot before noon
4. Needs to have nice toes
J Si – someone who has the same 12 year old mentality that he has
1. Has to do bits with him
2. Has to speak another language besides English, Spanish or British
3. Can’t have a better laugh than J Si
4. Has to be good at improv
5. J Si has to be your favorite
1. Has to be good at skits
2. Has to agree with something Kidd says at least once during the show
3. Cannot be taller than 5’7″
4. Need s to have a 3 digit IQ
5. Has to believe that Kellie is wrong most of the time to balance out dianthe being up Kellie’s butt all the time
Um, hater! Don’t hate because I recognize the greatness of Kellie Rasberry – I recognize the greatness of Kidd Kraddick too – just not as often – but hey, I can be bought – if you would like to increase my paycheck by 50%, I would be glad to expound on the greatness of Kidd Kraddick 24/7 – c’mon Kidd, let’s work something out!
J SI IN THE MIDDLE
Paul tried to call Kinsey to apologize – but Kinsey is still hurt and hasn’t accepted his apology … yet – J Si thinks she’ll forgive him eventually but in the meantime, J Si is still BFFless – hang in there J SI – Kinsey won’t hold a grudge forever – it might take some time – ok, a lot of time – but she’ll get over it – take the advice of the wise and wonderful Kellie Rasberry – the only thing that is going to make it better, is time
FUNNIEST CONVERSATION FROM THE SHOW TODAY
Kidd – Kellie, do you want to be loved or do you want be right?
Kellie – RIGHT
OOGEY MOMENT OF THE DAY
Freddy lost his phone and the phone was found by a 36 year old surfer chick – somehow she figured out who Freddy was and found out that he was opening for Good Charlotte – then she offered to FedEx the phone back to Freddy – that’s nice, right? Except she also hit on him – um, weird – I’m not sure why I’m so ooged out by this, but I am
THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW
Kellie’s air conditioning is out … AGAIN
J Si wants to ride along with a repo man
Shanon was stuck in traffic for 2 hours yesterday
Al saw 4 people this morning, 2 had just gotten out of jail and 2 were going
THE NAME GAME
I think this is my all time favorite game that the show plays – it’s never planned and just comes up randomly and never fails to make me laugh!! Today’s name … brothers
Jonas Brothers, Osmonds, Wright, Ringling, Smothers, Band of Brothers, Isley, Super Mario, Brothers Grimm, Alessi Brothers (which no one but Kidd has ever heard of), Brothers Johnson, Bee Gees, Wayans, Baldwin, Warner, Stater Brothers Grocery Store (which no one but J Si has ever heard of) , Dr Joyce, Statler, Blues Brothers & Sisters, Big Brother, Big Brothers Big Sisters – J Si and Kellie were the last 2 standing and J Si was out with “bros before hos” – not so much dude! The outcome – “I am Kellie Rasberry and I am the Queen of All Brothers!!”
Whoever thought that Kellie Rasberry from Florence, South Carolina would be the Queen of all Brothers
BATTLE OF THE TV SHOWS
Kidd started out by talking about the new High School Musical reality show – apparently it appeals to him because so similar to what he’s been going through with Caroline – and I can understand that – but he must be the only one that can relate because NO ONE is watching the show – the ratings suck – then he started talking about Mad Men – a show, I’ve never heard of – apparently it’s about men who were in advertising in back in the 60s – I mean, I might have some interest in it, I’ve just never heard of it – then Kellie brought up Project Runway – the new season started last week and Kellie is SO excited because she loves Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn – she’s also excited about the finale of Design Star – this wasn’t supposed to be a contest, but if it had been – Kellie would have won – not because I love all things Kellie Rasberry, but because she was WAY more excited about her TV shows than Kidd was – her face lit up and I could hear the joy in her voice – sorry Kidd – you’re down a point dude
Avril Lavigne and her people cheated the system to have the most watched video on You Tube – really – why are we even talking about her? We’ve met her on more than one occasion and she’s a whippin’ – not her people, HER – so we’re giving all this attention to Avril why? Wanna know what I think? Avril Lavigne-blah-blah-blah
There was no change to Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen’s custody agreement
Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are headed to Iraq to perform for the troops
A-Rod’s friends say he asked for a divorce and Cynthia wouldn’t give him one
Jay Leno is leaving his show next May but doesn’t know where he’s going next
NEW MUSIC TUESDAY
Miley Cyrus – Breakout
Nine Inch Nails – The Slip
Ace Young –
Sugarland – Love On The Inside [Deluxe Fan Edition]
J SI IN THE MIDDLE
I am completely at a loss as how to describe this because I know all the details and I was confused – so I can’t imagine how it sounded to you guys who didn’t know the details – but basically, J Si and Kinsey were out with J Si’s BFF Paul and Kinsey and Paul got into a HUGE fight – Paul had a few too many alcohol treats and said some really nasty things – Kinsey and J Si went home in the middle of this argument and while J Si passed out (because he’d had several alcohol treats also), Kinsey texted Paul because she was upset and wanted to resolve the argument – but instead of getting a resolution, the fight escalated and ended with Paul totally disrespecting Kinsey and Kinsey deleting Paul from her MySpace friends list (because that’s how you know it’s serious!!) – so the next morning, J Si wakes up and Kinsey tells him the story and then says that she no longer wants anything to do with Paul – she doesn’t tell J Si that he can’t hang out with Paul, but that was pretty much implied when she said she never wants to see or talk to Paul ever again – in the meantime, J Si hasn’t spoken to Paul and has been waiting for Paul to call and apologize – and I guess Paul has been laying low because he hasn’t reached out to J Si – so, what is the right thing to do? Call Paul and talk to him on air of course – now, we still don’t know exactly what happened – just that there were some nasty words exchanged and they involved a third party – and somewhere along the line, Paul came to his senses and apologized to Kinsey through email – but instead of taking the situation seriously, he tried to diffuse the situation with humor – I’m not Kinsey, but I’m thinking when you really know you’re in the wrong, sincerity would be the route to take – not the “I’m the jokester, won’t you forgive me” route – anyway, in a roundabout way Paul admitted what that he said was unforgivable but asked for forgiveness anyway – and as of now, there hasn’t been any response from Kinsey – I don’t know – the whole thing seemed to be very convoluted and the chat room thought so too – though they did side with Kinsey a lot
Megg: Can we keep a jerk friend if it conflicts with your boy/girlfriend? If you have to choose, Kinsey is the one to choose
Lucy: J Si needs to be honest with his BFF – why do you want to be friends with someone who would disrespect your girlfriend?
Hawkeye83: What did Paul say that was so wrong?!
Megg: They didn’t say which makes this very difficult to listen to. I feel like I am intruding on a party line…weird
Josie: Women have to accept apologies because men have no clue they did anything wrong
Ross: Okay. Honestly… I didn’t get the point of the entire discussion
Pita: This is so lame…. tell them all to grow up and get over it
Stefanie: ok, how can we, as faithful listeners help figure this out when they aren’t giving us full disclosure??
I don’t know how this will all end but what I do know is that all of this could have been resolved if J Si had just manned up from the beginning and called Paul and said “dude – you disrespected my girl – you need to apologize or we can’t be friends anymore” – see, easy peasy – but nooooo – instead, let’s drag it out and make it even more difficult than it already is!
People HATE when Kidd plays sappy music when he reads emails or letters on air – and I can understand why – partly because it seems like we’re forcing this heartfelt, gut wrenching attitude on you – and partly because the music is always to loud and it’s hard to hear the actual letter or story – but when Kidd played it today, he pointed out that you can play the music and just say one word and everyone knows where you’re going – Kidd’s words was rosacea, Kellie’s word was constipation, Al’s word was herpes, J Si’s word … mustache – um, what kind of sentimental sob story would the word “mustache” invoke? Yeah – J Si missed the boat on that one!
SHOWBIZ TOP 5
#5 – Balthazar Getty has admitted that he’s dating Sienna Miller but says he was already separated from his wife
#4 – Christian Bale is accused of assaulting his mom and sister
#3 – Heidi Montag is going to the Middle East to perform for the troops
#2 – There might be a Madonna/A-Rod sex tape being shopped for $2 million
#1 – Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas are dating
We haven’t heard from Freddy in a while – but he’s back and has new music!! The song “Even If” has been produced and sounds great – so now that Freddy has gotten some stage performances under his belt , he’s ready to take it to the next level – especially since he’s opening for Good Charlotte – and of course, he wants the help of his fans – so we’re forming the FAB – the Freddy Advisory Board – the FAB will attend a rehearsal of Freddy and his new band and give brutally honest feedback about his performance – if you’re interested in getting in on the FAB, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org – if you’re picked, you get free tickets to the show!!!
questions? comments? concerns? Holla at me – email@example.com
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A.D.D MOMENT OF THE DAY
Here’s an example of how quickly this show can get off topic – we started with BGJ saying that the woman who drew swastikas all over her kid and sent them to school couldn’t have happened in England (Andrew said it was actually Australia) – that somehow went to “why is BGJsitting at Kidd’s keyboard?” to “why are BGJ and Al sharing a mic?” to Al moving to the next mic over so that BGJ could have his own mic (even though he only speaks like twice a show)
KKITM FIGHT OF THE DAY
Al taught his mom to text and she sent her first text message (a picture of her dog) to Kellie – Kellie wasn’t able to open the message and thought it was because the file was too big – Kidd said it wasn’t the file, it was the phone – um, whatever – but it wasn’t enough to say it and let it go they both continued to back and forth about whether or not the file was too big or if it was a problem with the phone – how about who cares!! I thought for sure this would end with Kidd doing the Kellie’s wrong dance – and since it didn’t, this bit just lost all of my interest!
THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW
Kellie did not have to worry about fireworks between Not-Derek and Uncle Daddy
J Si is denying that any topless pictures on the Internet are him
Shanon earned over $200 in 2 minutes by doing a sexy dance
Al had a dream and the only thing he can remember is that he was wearing too much cologne
TALES FROM GAY BINGO
Kellie dropped an F bomb at Gay Bingo and had the mic immediately taken away from her – apparently there is an FCC type governing body that rules ALL bingo and you’re not allowed to cuss – but no one explained that to Kellie – but in Kellie’s defense, the gays love her (as all people should) and kept her going with an endless supply of vodka and cranberries – so when she said “freaking” and they thought she said something else, Kellie felt the need to defend herself – but in her inebriated state she said the “f” word they thought she originally said, thus ending her Gay Bingo hosting duties – then there was that whole “Zero 64″ thing – but hey, haven’t we all gotten Zero and the letter”O” confused? Sure we have – it just doesn’t usually happen during bingo – because doesn’t bingo always start with a letter – and I don’t think there are any “zeros” in bingo
J Si won a prize but in order to claim it, he had to take off his shirt!
Kinsey won a prize too but she refused to take off her shirt – GOOD GIRL!!
Shanon worked it and earned $213 – happy birthday!!!
Lance Bass is dating Sebastian Leal but Sebastian is married – to a girl!!!
Britney signed over sole custody to Kevin Federline and has to pay $20k a month in child support
Khloe Kardashian was released from jail after 173 minutes
Brenda Walsh is coming back to 90210
WHICH SITUATION WAS MORE ANNOYING???
First, Kidd basically had to run into a pole in the parking garage to keep from getting hit head on by some dude in a corvette and caused $5000 worth of damage to his car – and Corvette boy drove away never realizing the damage he caused – Kidd’s a better person than me, because I would have laid on my horn causing Corvette boy to completely freak out, swerve and cause thousands of dollars of damage to his car! The rest of the story was that Kidd needed to drop a package in the FedEx box and there was a box in the parking garage of the office building that Kidd was near – so he heads into the garage not realizing that it cost $5 to get out of the garage – even though it was the weekend, the garage still charged for parking and his options to get out were using the swipe card (which Kidd of course didn’t have) and paying $5 to the machine – normally that wouldn’t be a problem (because as Big Al says, Kidd is RICH!!! LOL!) but Kidd didn’t have a $5 bill and the machine didn’t make change – so he started putting in $1 bills only to find out that he only had $4 – and there’s a now a car behind him – the guy in the car behind him had a swipe card, but he refused to use the swipe card to let Kidd out and that guy didn’t have $1 either – during all of this, Kidd is pushing the “emergency” button but I guess building security didn’t see it as an emergency because eventually a security guy shows up but he doesn’t have the key or a dollar either – really? No one has any bright ideas other than to sit there in the parking garage? Even Megg called it “why could these men not come up with a plan?” – exactly!!! it never occurred to either of them to at least back their cars out so that the other guy could get out – or to put in a $5 or a $20 – no, instead they waited there for an hour and a half until someone FINALLY showed up with a dollar – too bad Ross wasn’t there because he had a solution, “a women wouldn’t have this problem… all she had to do a show a lil leg, lower the blouse… bam! instant swipping of the card.”
Kidd was in the checkout line of the grocery store and checked his Blackberry – he was having some sort of issue and had to do a reset which consists of removing and reinstalling the battery – once he left the store and tried to use the phone, he got an error message saying that the SIM card was gone – he called the store and of course they didn’t have it – and he lost his iPhone in New York – so now he has a Blackberry that doesn’t work and no iPhone
So which is more annoying – probably the lost SIM card – but the parking garage ordeal made for a much better story
Britney Spears signed over full custody to Kevin Federline on Friday and that led into a conversation about women who have lost custody of their children – we talked to one woman that called and said she lost custody of her daughters because her fiancé spent the night before they were married and it’s against the law in her state to have someone of the opposite sex spend the night if you’re not married – I’m guessing this was a pretty nasty divorce since her wedding date was 2 weeks away – then we talked to a woman who lost custody of her son because she had a nervous breakdown when her husband basically stole her son – then when she sought help, he used that against her during the custody proceedings and she lost custody – lastly, we talked to a dad who could’ve been the first woman’s ex-husband – he said he hired a private investigator to prove that his ex was having overnight visitor’s of the opposite sex – I don’t know – this whole segment made me really sad – my parents are divorced and it sucks – they’ve been divorced almost 20 years and everyone has moved on and it still sucks – no matter what, it’s always the kids that suffer the most and even though the parents always say “I’m doing this for my kids”, it’s usually about the parents and the kids still end up being hurt – I don’t have anything funny or witty to say – just that divorce sucks all the way around and anytime you put your personal feelings for your ex ahead of what’s best for your kid, it makes you a sucky parent
Sometimes the radio stars align and provide you with what can only be called Radio Gold – enter the article written about Good Charlotte for the Queens College newspaper – you would think that college students would have some knowledge of Good Charlotte – and quite possibly be a fan – but when the best comments you can get from “fans” sound like they were made up – well, you deserve to have your article made fun of on the radio – I mean, “Student Adina Meisel explains that the Good Charlotte concert is a great way to attend a popular concert. ‘It makes everyone more active and keeps people more active.’ she said. A group that can attract so much popularity and even controversy, as well as a lot of excitement, is certainly beneficial. Good Charlotte’s tunes are catchy and interesting, capturing popular appeal immediately.”more high-profile, low-cost band to play Queens College and bring the entire Queens College community together to rock on.” Andrew “what are you taaaaalking about” video Guy said they make Good Charlotte sounds like the Costco of Bands – for once, I have to agree with Andrew – oh lord, I think the earth just fell off its axis Seriously?? Who talks like that? And then “student Alina Elazar admits that Good Charlotte’s song “I Don’t Wanna Be in Love” is a ‘good song to dance to.'” Huh? Has she heard the song – and am I the only person that thinks it’s a little suspicious that the writer got comments from Adina and Alina? Are they twins? Come on! The best part though was the quote that said, “Good Charlotte is truly ‘good.’ Queens College can’t hope for a
Al’s life is filled with so many inappropriate moments – and you wouldn’t think that Al teaching his mom to text could go wrong – but it is Big Al – only all would think it would be a good idea to teach a Senior Citizen texting abbreviations that include F bombs – RUFKM? Al! when is your mom going to need to use “are you effing kidding me?” is there really anything in her life funny enough for her to respond with ROFLMFAO? Normally I would say Al is a pretty good son – even if he does refuse to move his parents out of the hood and that house that has the bars on the windows – but I think today, he crossed the line – just when you think Al’s done all he can … then he admits to sending mass text messages to every Jill or every Jenn in his phone and personally addressing them so that each girl will think she got her own text – who does that? I mean besides Big Al?
FANTASY FAN EXPERIENCE
If you’ve always wanted to be a part of the show, here’s your chance – here’s how – create a page on Kiddnation, make a video/audition tape and post it on your page and then get 100 of your Kiddnation friends to watch your video – each person on the show will then choose a person that gets to come and be a part of the show for a day – the Fantasy Fans will get a style makeover with a stylist from LFT, a photo shoot and get to spend one day being a member of the on-air cast for a day – it’s the ultimate KKITM fan experience – you’ll get to hang out with the show and see all the really cool things that go on behind the scenes – like Kellie heating up her Lean Cuisine and J Si hanging ou tin the guy room – you might even get to witness Big Al ogling listeners who came to watch the show!
MUSIC THAT MAKES YOU COOLER
Lenka – The Show – this sounds like that Moldy Peaches Juno crap – yeah, I know some people like that but since I’m writing the blog – I get to say “hated it”
Chester French – She Loves Everybody and
Karina Pacian – 16 at War – she’s Dominican, signed a million dollar record deal with Def Jam and her godfather is Quincy Jones
SHOWBIZ TOP 5
#5 – Khloe Kardashian served 173 minutes of her 30 day jail sentence
#4 – Angelina Jolie and her twins were released from the hospital
#3 – Britney signed over full custody to Kevin Federline
#2 – Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are trying to prove that their relationship is not in trouble
#1 – Jessica Simpson made her country concert debut and the reviews weren’t all positive
Toast Talk in the Chat Room
Last week, I told Kidd to give the Chat Room so me love because it was a little slow – he told me it was my responsibility to get people in the chat room – and besides, what was he going to say? Come into the chat room and talk to Dianthe about toast” – okay smarty way to harass me – so we had the voice guy record a return that said “join Dianthe in the chatroom now to talk about toast’ – Kidd wasn’t nearly as amused as we were but the Chat Room people were in on it and thought it was funny – and we added about 30 more people as the morning went on – GO Us!!!
BIGGEST NON-STORY OF THE DAY
Not-Derek had to work at the last minute and didn’t make it to Gay Bingo – so if you were expecting some big exciting story about a Not-Derek vs. Uncle Daddy smackdown, well – you’re out of luck
MOST ANNOYING BIT OF THE DAY
The premise of the bit was good – Big Al talks to “chicks” about current topics to find out what “chicks” today think – the problem is he picked fast talking Valley Girl Allie – okay, maybe she’s not a real Valley Girl but she sounded like Kinsey on caffeine – I’m sure that Allie is a very nice person and I feel kinda bad about calling her annoying since I’ve never met her – but I don’t want my dentist to think that The Hills is the best show ever – and call me a hypocrite, cause I love The Hills too – but if you’re repairing my teeth, I’m going to need your favorite show to be on Discovery Health or PBS – anyway in case you’re wondering, according to Allie, Capri pants for guys are out, Affliction shirts are out, everyone needs to leave Hannah Montana alone and Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are disgusting – and can someone tell me why she pronounced Lilo as LIE-Lo instead of LEE-Lo??
Al had a $3500 cell phone bill because he thought his “unlimited” internet access was good in Mexico – well it’s unlimited in the States, not in Mexico and all of sudden, he had a $3500 bill from Verizon!!!! YIKES! he disputed the bill and they discounted it a ton, but it’s still about $900 – like J Si said, that’s more than you make in a week at the Beer Bucket!!!!
Kinsey was going to give her review of Mamma Mia – but as often the case with KKITM, we got sidetracked – Kellie made the mistake of saying that she thought that lot of people went to see Mamma Mia because Dark Knight was sold out and Kidd said that there was no way that could be possible because there is no way a guy who was going to see Dark Knight was going to see Mamma Mia as a Plan B – but then Kidd didn’t take into consideration that women might want to see Dark Knight too – so he and Kellie went back and forth with both of them trying to explain their side and finally Kellie was so fed up she said, “I HATE YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!” and since we spent so much time arguing about which movie people really wanted to see, we didn’t even get to hear Kinsey say that she hated the movie!
Comments, questions, concerns??? holla at me – firstname.lastname@example.org
BEHIND THE SCENES
My day started with laughter because of this line … “Does anyone have a poop pass Andrew can borrow?” – if you’re new to the show, you may not know the “No #2” rule – we have a bathroom in the studio but you’re not allowed to go #2 in there – you have to go down the hall and use the public bathroom – but it’s locked and requires a swipe card – so if you ask for a swipe card, everyone knows you have to go poo – Andrew tried to discreetly ask Dino for his swipe card but he didn’t have it – he was going to ask me next (but was having trouble getting it out) so I just said, “I don’t have mine either” – you could tell Andrew was a little defeated – that’s when Dino said over the intercom into the studio, “Does anyone have a poop pass Andrew can borrow?” – insert your own hilarious laughter here.
KIDD’S “I’M GAY” MOMENT
Kidd wants to go see Mamma Mia instead of Dark Knight this weekend because Dark Knight is gonna be crowded
And the Chat room agreed with me …
Amandacj08: ok, Kidd needs to have his man card revoked
Tiffers110: I’m pretty sure that Kidd’s man card has been suspended and denied for future issue, Amanda.
KELLIE RASBERRY’S HIGH FIVE MOMENT OF THE DAY
Kidd: Al, one word to describe the show
Kellie: What’s diverse about us?? We’re all white!!!
BWAAAAAHHHHHH!!! The greatness of Kellie Rasberry strikes again!
THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW
Kellie bought a canvas toast bag to save the environment
J Si wanted to be on the Baby Borrower show
Shanon can’t get up in the morning so she didn’t take a shower
Al needs new beer goggles
FLUSH THE FORMAT
Dr. Feel Good – Motley Crue
Mash Up – Pour Some Sugar On Me-Def Leppard /Tipsy-J Kwon
Mash Up – You Spin Me Round-Dead or Alive/Stronger-Kanye West
Wall to Wall – Chris Brown
Dirrty – Christina Aguilera
What You Got – Colby O’Donis
Gotta Get Through This – Daniel Bedingfield
Burnin Up – Jonas Brothers
Find You – Freddy
Madonna wants Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake to perform together on her tour
Sarah Silverman is nominated for an Emmy for “I’m ****ing Matt Damon”
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner are pregnant
Pete Wentz and Ashley Simpson are having a baby girl
J Si decided to one up BGJ with J Si’s Mexican Challenge – he gave himself one hour to find a Mexican and surprisingly enough, J Si found one on his first try – now, I love J Si (even when I have to beat him down) but I have to say, it probably wasn’t that difficult to find a Mexican where we live – so in an hour’s time, J Si found about 30 Mexicans – everything from a Mexican with a mullet (amandacj08called it the “meximullet”) to a little kid – good thing there was no punishment … or prize
DARK KNIGHT REVIEW
It’s really hard to review movies on the radio since you can’t see the clip, you can only hear it – but I think it’s pretty fair to say that if you’re a guy you’ll love this movie especially if you’re into comics – listener Jack says this is “easily the best movie ever made replacing The Godfather – it’s The Godfather of comic book movies” – I haven’t seen the movie but I’m thinking that may be overstating it just a tad – and when you go see it, be prepared because it’s a 2 ½ hour movie – the highlight of the review segment was talking to Joey, the pizza delivery guy, who went to see the 3am showing of Dark Knight that sold out about a month ago – dude, seek help! Anyway, we were less concerned about what he thought about the movie and more interested in whether or not he could bring us a pizza (cause y’all know how we love some food!) – he said he was going to call his manager to see if we could work it out, but apparently he has a love hate relationship with his boss who won’t answer his phone calls – so Joey couldn’t “open the store and get the Mexican workers to go in and make a pizza” – those were his words, not mine – so no pizza for us – luckily, we had some listeners who brought Chick-Fil-A – YAY!!!
We didn’t have anyone in studio this week, but next week is going to be greatness!! Thursday Billy Bob Thornton will be in studio with his band – they’re not performing since his music isn’t exactly our genre, but he’s still cool – maybe we can just play a track because apparently Shanon is so inspired by Billy Bob’s music, she was able to perform an interpretive dance to Billy Bob’s song on demand – how I wish I’d had time to get that on video … also coming in studio next week – Metro Station, Good Charlotte and Boys Like Girls – which are all cool – but is anything cooler than the possibility that my future BFF Nicole Richie will be here – um, NO!!!! there was some random talk about having me stay at home on Friday since Nicole might be here – but I’m giving that a big WHATEV!! I’ve been here 5 ½ years and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve come out to meet celebrities or asked to have my picture taken with them – I’m just not that impressed with celebrities – but Nicole is different – I don’t really think of her as a celebrity – she’s like the most popular girl at school who runs with the cool crowd – and you know you could be great friends with her if you just spent a little time together – ya know what I mean? Anyway, there’s no way I’m staying at home that day – I’ll be right here in the studio with everyone else – and I’m not going to be all crazy psycho fan – I’m just going to say, “hi Nicole – my name is dianthe and I love you – wanna be BFFs??”
Another failed “on the phone” bit thanks to Big Al – I’m not sure if Al was just trying to redeem himself from yesterday’s 1955 Disney guy on the phone or if he just thought getting the “canal” on the phone would be funny – but either way, it was a bad idea – we were talking about how stinky the canal can get – especially during the summer and suddenly we had the “canal” on the phone – let’s just say that the bit was really bad – thankfully Kidd aka “the canal” was able to pull it out with the line “hey Shanon – thanks for letting us have a staph meeting on you’re a**” – WHEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
SHOWBIZ TOP 5
#5 – Vern Troyer wants to evict his girlfriend that released their sex video
#4 – Jennifer Aniston spends $20k a month in maintenance
#3 – Britney and K-Fed will probably settle out of court for their custody arrangement
#2 – There are pictures of Miley Cyrus flipping off the paparazzi
#1 – Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are having a baby
J SI’s Hip Hop Drive Thru with Kinsey
According to J Si, Kinsey can’t dance – and she doesn’t have a whole lot of rhythm – but because he’s a good boyfriend (and I stress the word boyfriend because he’s being a slacker about proposing) he let Kinsey go with him to do the hip hop drive thru – the problem is that I don’t think he explained the entire concept to Kinsey – J Si tried to flirt with the drive through chick a little and because J Si knows women (or not) he threw down the line “the back of your hair looks ridiculous” – except he said ‘redicolous’, not ‘ridiculous’ – you can tell the difference between the two, right? Yeah, neither could the drive thru lady – or Kinsey for that matter – according to J Si ‘redicolous’ is a compliment and ‘ridiculous’ is not – Kinsey didn’t fall for it either and promptly let J Si know how rude he was to the drive thru chick – I’m guessing this might be the last Hip Hop Drive Thru with Kinsey
Good Charlotte Fly In Contest
All you had to do to win the fly in was be the right caller and answer all of these questions correctly
What time did Freddy take the stage at the Warped Tour?
What date did Kidd call Freddy and ask him to be on the show?
If you want to buy your very own Freddy t-shirt, what company would you contact?
Friday April 25th
The winner was Kim and she is bringing her friend Cindy – it’s definitely a cool prize – but I know they better stay away from Nicole Richie – she’s mine – all mine – um, nooooo – I’m not psycho at all!
KIDD KRADDICK BEHIND THE MIC
What’s shocking about this Behind the Mic is that 1. It was the second one this week and 2. they both featured the great Kellie Rasberry – the show was asked to come up with one word to describe the show – and what was Kellie’s response, “What do you want me to say” – oh, where is my ROFL emoticon when you need it
TEEN CHOICE AWARDS WINNER
17 year old Tiffany won the Teen Choice Awards trip by sending us a video of herself accepting the award – what a great winner!! She was so excited to win – and she said she’s going to take her daddy with her
Check out her video here
Yesterday, Kidd watched a video of a focus group of people who had never heard of the show – their job was to rate the show on a scale of 0 to 100 with 50 being the average – if you actually heard Kidd talk about this, you could tell it wasn’t going to be good – especially when he told us that the highest score was 85 and that was when a song was playing – hello – we’re a TALK show!! the next highest rating was a 73 when Madonna was on – then the score really tankes – all the way to 12 points for Kellie’s impression of Amy Winehouse – WHAT?? That was greatness – with “Blakey Incarcerated” – how could you not think that was funny? And 17 points for a Kinsey bit that they said sounded like a robot? ok, I’m all for the celebrity interview and all – but as a listener, I’m tuning in to hear the people on the show – I can get celebrity interviews on Entertainment Tonight or any other entertainment show on tv – are these people smoking crack – they need to get to know the show – we’re funny people – especially when we’re not trying to be – love us!!
So to balance out the focus group ratings, Kidd asked listener Britney (who was outside watching the show) to evaluate the last break as it was going on
Ice cream got a 24, sex got a 0, 50 for Kellie’s weekend plans and 80 at the possibility of Kellie being naked – 60 at the topic of what your worst restaurant experience was – 85 for a cockroach crawling across Kidd’s food, 50 for the restaurant people not knowing who Kellie was, 12 for Al being mad he had to pay (thanks Al!) – 87 for Al talking to Kidd on the cell phone to deflect from him sitting in a restaurant alone (see, I’m not the only one who loves some Big Al humiliation!) – and then the kicker – Shanon talking about her love for cookies went all the way from 100 to 15 – and as her score started to fall, she decided flattery was the way to go – Shanon got an 80 when she said if she were a guy, she would think she Britney was hot – and 100 when Shanon said, “but I’m not a guy, I’m just a lesbian” – and that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you end the week with a bang!!