hi, i’m Big Drunk Al …

July 15, 2008 at 4:33 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

AL’S RANDOM COMMENT OF THE DAY

Can I buy you a stain?

BIG AL’S POINTLESS STORY OF THE DAY

Al spent $300 of his $500 spending money on a jacket in New York when he stopped in New York on his way to Miami

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Someone stole all of Kellie’s furniture

J Si finally got an email from Kinsey

Shanon says the fatter she gets, the harder it is for her to work out

Al was reminded last night why car insurance for 16 year olds is so high

Kidd gave BGJ a 30 second tour of New York while standing in Times Square

SECONDHAND SERENADE

We’re doing a contest to meet Secondhand Serenade and have John sing “Fall For You” to you on stage with your man (or woman) – all you have to do is email us and tell you how this song has touched you – somehow, this led into a weird conversation about men and women and relationships and here’s what I took away from it –

All men are liars and all women are crazy AND All men are dogs and all women are psycho

It’ll be interesting to see what kind of letters we get about this because isn’t there always one song that perfectly describes your life or your relationship??

HIZZLE

Madonna is going to cheer A Rod on at the All Star game

Khloe Kardashian has to serve 3 days in jail for a DUI

Paris Hilton is trying to have a baby

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have broken up

THE WEDDING MACHINATIONS OF BIG DRUNK AL

aka How to Get A Bit for the Show while I’m Drunk on Vacation

Big Al was going to hit on a hot chick named Jocelyn who was sitting at his “Two Gay Guys In A Bucket” bar – until he found out she had a boyfriend named Michael who was large enough to pound Big Al into the ground – so when Michael came along, Al told him he should marry Jocelyn – and Michael agreed – and said that if Al got him a minister, he’d marry her on the spot – but instead of finding a minister, Al decided to get himself ordained online and marry them – so in the next 24 hours, Big Al managed to put together a wedding – Michael bought a ring and Big Al got ordained as a minister, had someone decorate the bar and hired a mariachi band – and obviously he had a couple of drinks – because otherwise, why would he use the words “a**” and “damn” twice during the ceremony – and then write the following vows :

I Micheal, will love you and make you my wife

As long as you stay hot and don’t stab with me with a butcher knife

I know you’re not black and I know you’re not white

I may hate myself in the morning but I’m a love you tonight

I promise to love you forever and promise I’ll never ever leave

and I will never ever cheat on you even with my podner Redneck Steve

:::shaking head::: I’m sure this is the exact wedding ceremony that Jocelyn’s mother always dreamed of

What is scarier than getting a phone call at 1 am in the morning?  Getting a phone call at 1am when your 16 year old son just got his driver’s license – Payton’s mom called Al from the emergency room because Payton was in a car accident – Payton was driving home from his girlfriend’s house and got distracted – he was going 50 in a 55 and hit a telephone pole – the police came and the ambulance took him to the hospital – he’s okay, but initially they thought he had a concussion – turns out he just hit his head really hard and he has a big bruise on his leg – it was a pretty bad accident – the airbags deployed and because the car flipped on its side, the car is totaled – but Payton is okay and that’s what is most important!!!

BRITISH GUY JACK’S BRITISH GUY CHALLENGE

Before Kidd sent BGJ out for the British Guy Challenge, Kidd took BGJ out at Penn Plaza/Station (pretending to be an expert on New York) and gave him a quick tour of New York – but it wasn’t a real tour since they just stood in Penn Plaza and Kidd pointed out a few New York “highlights” – like Penn Station (which is called Penn Station because that’s where the pens used to be manufactured … or not), the Statue of Liberty which was given to the United States by Poland (or France), the best pizza place in New York, Pizza Hut and Sbarro and the best place for a sandwich … Subway – yep, Kidd knows New York

So, the challenge – BGJ had 30 minutes to find another  British person – the kicker is, every time he asks someone if they’re British, he loses a minute from his time – and the only follow up question he’s allowed to ask is “do you know where I can find a British person?” – now, maybe it’s just me, but wouldn’t you ask the person a different question – like if they have the time – because can’t you tell British people by their accents?  Or, like Kellie and Al said, he could’ve just looked at their shoes – because apparently all Europeans wear crazy looking shoes – see, you learn something new every day – if you want to know how this thing plays out – listen tomorrow for the continuation – because BGJ just might stand for British Gigolo Jack …

While we were waiting on Jason Mraz (who apparently got delayed because of the big All Star Parade), we talked to Mike Easterland, the head of Roadrunner records – back in the day before Kidd was a big time nationally syndicated radio dude and Mike was a bit time record label guy, Kidd and Mike worked together – Kidd used to pay Mike a whopping $6 an hour to run his board – then Mike got the opportunity to basically fetch coffee for a record label – so he quit – but he picked the inopportune time to tell Kidd about 5 minutes after Kidd had just found out that his agent had been stealing all of his money – not just some of his money – but all of his money – so much that he had to go to the bank to get a loan to pay his house note – funny how things work out …

The All Star Parade caused someone to bring up last night’s Homerun Derby – the guy that should have won was Josh Hamilton – and maybe he would’ve won if he hadn’t been so tire from hitting 28 homeruns in the first round!  Anyway, Josh has a really cool story and if you get a few minutes, you should check it out – it’s very inspiring and proof that it’s never too late

KELLIE AND NOT-DEREK UPDATE

Kellie helped Not-Derek get a new job at her favorite restaurant and now she’s worried about what will happen if their relationship goes downhill – y’all know how Kelley is about her food – Al suggested that Kellie have Not-Derek fired – after all, Kellie is pretty powerful – she managed to get rid of Rich … KIDDING!!!

JASON MRAZ

Random facts about Jason

Jason is a vegan and grocery shops while he’s on the road because he doesn’t eat at restaurants

His parents frequently join him on the road

Jason is a fan of the clap track

Jason performed “I’m Yours” and I was so glad because I LOVE that song – and the jingle he did for the show is my favorite!!   He also performed “Wordplay” but he forgot the words to his favorite part of the song – why?  I think it was because Kidd freaked him out by requesting the song – so I’m not going to let Jason take the blame – I’m putting it on Kidd!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – New York Reality TV School will teach you how to get on a reality show for $139

#4 – Justin Timberlake’s grandma wants him to marry Jessica Biel

#3 – Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman have broken up

#2 – Audrina Patridge says she didn’t get into a fight with L.C. and the cops were not called to their apartment

#1 – Madonna is loving the publicity surrounding the A Rod rumors

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1 Comment »

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  1. I love that Kidd gave the michael scott version of new york…hilarious. 🙂


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