nevermind, Al’s not listening

August 7, 2008 at 8:08 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

AL’S RANDOM COMMENT OF THE DAY

“Yeah, Felicia” – the only reason this is random is because Al actually remembered the name of the hot, Asian Apple lady – did I mention that she was hot and Asian??  I wonder how she’s listed in his phone – Hot Asian Apple?

KELLIE RASBERRY “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME” MOMENT

Kellie talking about all the plastic surgery she wants done when we were supposed to be talking about J Si’s oral surgery

MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT OF THE SHOW

“She would wake up at 3 am with some random black guy spooning her and not know what to do” – Shanon’s scenario of what would happen if Kellie gave Al a key to her house

SILLY ARGUMENT OF THE DAY

Al said he didn’t think Dark Knight was the greatest movie ever – and somehow Citizen Kane got thrown in the mix – Kidd said that Citizen Kane is one of the best movies ever and Kellie said it was a stupid movie – then she tried to tell why and Kidd got mad because she was going to give away the ending – Kellie yelled “IT’S A 50 YEAR OLD MOVIE!!” and proceeded to say it was a stupid sled – Kidd then told her that if she didn’t get it, then she was stupid – and Kellie ended the argument by saying, “Fine. I’m too stupid for Citizen Kane – I’ll admit it” – ahhh – good times.

THINGS KELLIE SAID THAT MADE ME LAUGH

“What do you want me to learn how to do and who can I pay to do it for me”

THINGS KIDD COMPLAINED ABOUT TODAY

The fact that it was a SLOW gossip day – how about I just make some up for you next time??

TODAY’S ONGOING JOKE

Al not listening to the show

WORST BIT OF THE DAY

J Si and Kidd trying to recreate “The Dark Knight” movie – in the exact voices

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie voluntarily performed a field sobriety test for a police officer last night

Big Al has 300-400 bees in his backyard

J Si went to see Dark Knight with Big Al and they sat right next to each other

Shanon wants Al to promise to ask her in her headphones if he has a question about today’s show

KKITM BEHIND THE MIC

“Hey, it’s Kidd Kraddick” – Big Al

“Um, you’re not Kidd Kraddick” – Kellie

“Oh, sorry – Hey, it’s Kidd Kraddick” – Big AL

“NO!  You’re NOT Kidd Kraddick” – Kellie

Do you feel her pain?  I do …

HIZZLE

Shia LeBeouf may lose a finger from his car accident

Chris Brown and Rihanna might be engaged

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have matching tattoos

Usher has rehired his mom as his manager

Seriously – does anyone still care about Lindsay Lohan enough to have a 5 minute discussion as to whether or not she does or doesn’t live on the other side of the street?  She hasn’t done in a decent movie in years – the “anticipation” of her new album is nonexistent and the only reason anyone was interested in her was because she was living the train wreck life – now that she’s not falling down drunk and kicking it in the streets – no one cares – I predict this Samantha Ronson thing – publicity stunt!!

Jonas Brothers Texting Contest

We’re giving away a trip to see and MEET the Jonas Brothers in Atlanta – to enter, all you have to do is text the word “JONAS” to 68683 – the deadline is next Thursday at 6am – now if you send us a text message, we’re gonna put you on our text message list and we’ll send you updates about the show – and if you’re hot and over 21, you might get a random text from Al hitting you – so be prepared

BILLBOARD TOP 5

1.       Sugarland – Love On The Inside

2.       Miley Cyrus – Breakout

3.       Soundtrack to Mamma Mia!

4.       Kid Rock – Rock N Roll Jesus

5.       Lil Wayne – Tha Carter III

WHO IS LISTENING TO THE SHOW??

Kidd was talking about the soundtrack to Mamma Mia and how the soundtrack was recorded by the actors in the movie – he had just pointed out that the song “Take A Chance On Me” sounded just like the band that originally did it – except Al wasn’t listening (surprise, surprise) – and couldn’t say who originally recorded “Take A Chance On Me” – even though Kidd had just said it not 2 minutes before – Yambeef1220 said “Al must’ve been dropped on his head like 45039 times as a child” – I agree!

J SI’S SURGERY

The first time we started talking about J Si’s surgery, we kind of got derailed because Kellie had an “all about me” moment – Kidd thanked J Si for scheduling his surgery on a Friday instead of missing work and Kellie pointed out that she was waiting until we were off work for 2 weeks to have her tummy tuck – never mind the fact that her surgery is totally elective – this led into a brief discussion about what elective surgery the show would have and how Kidd should have  nose job because of his deviated septum – I only bring that whole thing up because Tigernamedtony07 said, “maybe Kidd can get his umm … knees done … so he can be taller” – and well, it was just too funny not to mention!

So finally we got to the real point of the story – J Si’s surgery – J Si is having all 4 of his wisdom teeth pulled tomorrow – apparently J Si is just as chicken of the dentist as Kidd is and has been putting it off for 2 years even though he’s had recurring pain all this time – so to help ease his fear, Kidd decided to share all of the horrors that could happen during the surgery – things like extensive gum bleeding, permanent numbness in his mouth and gums, dry socket, a fractures jaw, heart problems, anesthetic that can lead to death and an embolism that could cause an immediate heart attack – no worries J Si – and pay no attention to that story that Kidd told you about Robert Draver, the 24 year old pension advisor who had his wisdom teeth pulled after they hurt for 2 years – he was found dead in his bed the day after having his teeth pulled – he swallowed 3 gallons of his own blood and was found on a blood soaked mattress – oh,  it’ll be fine – but J Si isn’t falling for that crap – he truly believes that he only has a 50/50 chance of surviving the extraction of his wisdom teeth, he decided to write his Last Will and Testament, in case he doesn’t make it …

To the Museum of Broadcasting – the Guitar he played Hey Miss Kinsey on

To BGJ – his KKITM Plasma TV because J Si heard everything (and he means EVERYTHING) is smaller in England

To Kinsey – His couches, because she made him sleep on them so much, his smell is permanently embedded in them

To Andrew – All of his clothes, because he wants to be J Si anyway – plus it’ll be funny to see him try to fit into them

To Shanon – his sailor costume, because she likes free clothes and can probably find someone to wear it

To Big Al – his apartment, because he needs a new place and then he’ll get to live with Kinsey and her sister – but rent, bills, food and sexy time are not included but he’ll throw in his Speedo for bits

To me – his prehistoric computer – even though the “d” key doesn’t work so my name will now be Ianthe

To Kellie – his CD of his jokes, because she’s the only one that understands talent

And the Rock band video will go to Paul – because he’s already borrowing it

And finally … to Kidd – his collection of plastic bottles that he peed in – but they may not be washed because he has to pack – huh??

And J Si wants to be buried in his car in Wichita – because he can finally say it

Farewell J Si

WHAT ARE PEOPLE ARE DOING AT THE COURTHOUSE

There are always a ton of people at the courthouse, so Big Al headed out to see what all those people are doing there

First up the guy that was waiting on his brother who was “reporting and *hit like that – you know whut I’m saying” – after they left the house they were “gonna go see his baby mama and kids” – and what did his brother do that he would need to “reporting and *hit like that”?  organized crime.

Then there was the guy who had a DWI that Al thought was going to stab him – even though the guy said he had stopped drinking  – uh, when?  15 minutes ago??

Then the kids – an 18 year old girl who was on probation for getting caught at school with drugs, the high school senior who was in truancy court for 3 unexcused absences and finally, the kid who was in court with his mom because he had a court date for some “auto theft stuffs – yeaahhh” – is that the PC way of saying “he stole a car” – “I believe the children are our future …” – where is Whitney Houston when you need her??

MOVIE TALK PART 2

SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS REVIEW

We had a couple of callers who reviewed the movie and for the most part, everyone liked it even though the general consensus was that the first one was better- they still enjoyed it and said it was a chick flick you could take your kids to

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS REVIEW

We only had one person call to review, Pineapple Express – Stoner “Darrin” – too bad he was too high to remember any of the movie

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Usher has dumped his manager Benny Medina and rehired his mom

#4 – US Attorney’s office has closed investigation into Heath Ledger’s death

#3 – Dancing With the Stars possible contestants – Kim Kardashian, Ty Murray, Dan Merino, Lance Bass, Florence Henderson

#2 – Rihanna has been seen wearing a big diamond ring on her wedding finger

#1 – Shia LeBeouf may lose a finger due to his car accident

BROTHERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS

there were only 3 good things about this bit – the fact that BGJ narrated it, the part where J Si chokes Al to death  and the comments from the Chat Room:

“it’s more like the Gay brotherhood of the traveling short shorts or pants” – Cali Mike 120

“haha travelling speedos” – Stefanie

“the brotherhood of the traveling tankini” – Tigernamedtony07

and from the phones … Caller Michelle with “the Traveling of the Brotherhood Pants”

Kellie was sick last night but had agreed to go to a dinner for a friend who is moving  – she tried to cancel but she couldn’t get in touch with anyone – so she went to the restaurant to tell them that she was sick and then was going to go home – she had another friend with her so they said their his/byes and got ready to leave – as they were leaving  the restaurant, her friend almost walked in front of a moving police car – Kellie thought she would be funny and made a  drinking motion to the police officer like her friend was drunk (even though neither one of them had had anything to drink) – but the friend didn’t see Kellie so when the officer asked her friend if she needed a ride home, Kellie got all flustered and tried to explain to Mr. Police Officer that they were sober – they even jokingly offered to take a field sobriety test – then, Kellie suddenly realized that even in her naughtiest of nights, she would never need to take a real field sobriety test, so she asked if they could take the tests just for fun – and since she hadn’t had anything stronger than a Diet Coke, Kellie got in her car to leave – so why did the police officer pull up behind her on the way out of the parking lot – it turns out that he just wanted Kellie to drive safely on the way home – and THAT was Kellie’s big brush with the law

The Price Is Right is looking for a new Showcase girl aka Carey’s Cuties and Shanon wants to try out – the last time Shanon auditioned for something, she was working at Oshman’s and showed up to the audition in khakis – and she ended up being the only one cut – then there was that time she tried out for a role on the Young & the Restless and never admitted it to anyone until today – see, unlike J Si, Shanon doesn’t think she is the best at everything – but she does think that she could be trained to do just about anything – so Kidd had her act out a scene from a soap opera to prove to her that she’s not an actress – unfortunately for Kidd, since he’s not an actor either (“hey, how’s it going?”), Shanon didn’t believe him – so Shanon is still gonna try out for the Price is Right and if she makes it she’ll talk about it and if she doesn’t, well – you’ll never hear about it again – but she thinks she has a good chance – because she can spin the wheel and she can play Plinko – except the models don’t actually play the game …

DIVA KELLIE

The show is looking sat doing some sort of promotion with Apple and yesterday afternoon, the Apple chic came to do a seminar about the Mac to familiarize the show with their products – now, if you’re a new listener you may not know that Kidd “Mr I Love All Things Apple” Kraddick is not only a Mac lover, he’s also a Mac Guru – and he has a Mac Book and a Mac desktop and a Mac Pro something and an iPhone and has had every iPod known to man – so he wasn’t just excited about the seminar – he was downright giddy – on the other end of the spectrum was Kellie Rasberry – arms folded, wrapped up in her pashmina and in her defense, sick and running a fever – now, I’ve seen Kellie check out before but yesterday, she was downright despondent – now, Kidd said that Kellie made it awkward for everyone else and I don’t really think that to be true – but she definitely wasn’t interested and how could she be – she doesn’t have a Mac and barely knows how to work her iTunes – and while she’s a great Googler and has managed to figure out how to trick out her MySpace page, she is not the technological wizard that Kidd is – nor does she want to be – because in her own words, “I pay people to do stuff that I don’t want to do” – and she can – because she’s Kellie Rasberry Dammit!!

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