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August 11, 2008 at 8:38 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

I don’t know who to hold responsible for today’s show, but that person will NOT be getting my undying love and devotion

Kidd – I don’t care if you were on a plane at 1am – you are NOT allowed to be that late the day after 2 celebrities died – usually when you’re late, I think you just overslept or you’re sitting in your car listening to the first break – today I prayed we wouldn’t find you a la Isaac Hayes

Big Al – maybe next time you’ll think twice before basing your decisions solely on looks

J Si – hurry up and heal your teeth – the show sucks when you can’t laugh

Kellie – I know you’re sick but you’re still pretty perfect

And Shanon – I (unlike some unnamed people – Kidd) do not hold you personally responsible when the show crashes and burns

I still love you all and I know tomorrow will be better

BEST LINE OF THE SHOW

It was great – I would do it again if I had more wisdom – J Si talking about his wisdom teeth surgery

CHAT ROOM COMMENT OF THE DAY

We should have known Al’s fan would be the one without the radio personality– but as usual he didn’t disappoint in the looks dept – Lucy

FUNNIEST CONVERSATION OF THE SHOW

“What do you think Rosa’s chances are of having a career in radio?” – Kidd

“Not good” – Kellie

“Thank you” – Rosa

“You’re welcome sweetie” – Kellie

FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW

What Kidd would be listed under in Big Al’s phone

What would you put Kidd under if you met him at a bar and didn’t know him? – J Si

DJ Pocket – Al

TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN

“This is what you’re best at – monologue – continuous talking” – Kidd referring to Al interviewing Carly Patterson

WHY YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW

Al was talking about the kid with the medical problem that was walking with Yao Ming during the Olympic Opening Ceremonies – um, way to go and screw up a really good story Al – the real story is that the little boy is 9 year old Lin Hao and he survived the Chinese earthquake – he was selected because after getting himself free, he went back into the collapsing school and saved 2 of his friends – when they asked him why he went back in – he said “I’m the hall monitor – it’s my job” – it makes me cry just thinking about it

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM aka INTERVIEW TIPS FROM BIG AL MACK

“so make them feel comfortable – something positive that you know that they did and they know that they’re very fond to them” – Big Al Mack – I think I’m gonna put this on a t-shirt

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie tried to watch the Olympics but had to watch I Love Money on VH1 instead

Big Al gave a shout out to Cullen Jones for winning the gold medal in swimming

J Si is alive

Shanon woke up on J SI’s couch

Rosa is here

And Kidd is not

FIRST (AND LAST) OLYMPIC FACT WITH ROSA

Olympic medals were last made out of gold in 1912 – except she said it wrong – she said “The Olympic that were entirely out of gold were awarded in 1912”

HIZZLE

Clay Aiken’s baby was born

Mary-Kate Olsen posted pictures of her partying on her Facebook for everyone to see

Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes both passed away this weekend

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson refused to have their picture made with the chef at a NY restaurant

J SI’S ORAL SURGERY

Well, J Si showed up to work today,  so it looks like he was able to make it through the surgery alive – but it wasn’t without a little comic relief – leading up tot ht e surgery, J Si’s biggest concern was peeing in his pants while he was under – he even considered getting an adult diaper on his way – but instead of stopping off for Depends, he taught Kinsey how to use the recorder so she could record him while he was drugged up – the dental assistants joined in on the “HA-HA-HA, J Si’s drugged up so let’s ask him a lot of questions” fun – the only problem was that J Si was so out of it, he was pretty much unintelligible – I couldn’t understand a word that was coming out of his mouth (thank you Chris Tucker) – but there was one thing I did understand – when someone asked “Are you and Kinsey gonna get married” – SILENCE – a little too convenient, don’t you think??  The surgery went well and only took about 30 minutes and J Si said he didn’t feel a thing – afterwards, Kinsey offered to get J Si his favorite Taco Bell and put it in a blender but he was more concerned with calling Kidd – imagine a drugged up J Si calling up Kidd saying “Hey Kidd – wanna go get a beer?”

BIG AL’S WEEKEND WRAP UP

So Rosa hung out with Big Al on Saturday so they could do some bits and she could see what Al does on the weekend – the only problem is that Rosa is really quiet – and after dinner Friday night, Al knew he was going to have to do something drastic to get any kind of reaction out of her – so he treated her the same way he treats his girlfriends – he put her to work …

J Si said her thought Al made her do the lawn because she’s a Mexican and Tigernamedtony wanted to make sure she got this message, “Umm Rosa, if you can see this I’m having a FantasyFan Part 2 contest later today …” – After Rosa did all of Al’s weekend chores, it was time to party – that went out to the lake and hung out on Redneck Steve’s boat – still no major reactions from Rosa, but we did find out that Rosa thinks Redneck Steve is hot

Kidd was late today – he said it had something to do with him being on a plane at 1am in the morning but he offered up the following lame excuses …

5. He was competing in the 400M relay with Michael Phelps – well, sort of – he actually just gave him a push

4. He went back in time – back to when he hired Big Al to see if he could undo it

3. He met with J Si’s dentist to get his wisdom teeth so that he could try and negotiate to get his Rock Band game back  2. He went to see Dark Knight again – the movie started at 4am and he thought he could make it

1. Kidd thought that Fantasy Fan meant they host the show

BA DUM PSHHHHH

PICK A HOTTIE

We decided to go through Al’s Phone book again in a quest for hotties – and since it’s Al phone, where should we start – by searching for the word “hot”- here are the search results …

Hot But No Idea

Hot But Stupid

Hot Ex Asian – she and Al dated a little but – so she’s kind of his ex, she’s Asian and she’s hot

Hot Latin Primo

Hot Stuff

Hottie O Bar

Carami Hot

Cici White Dress Hot

Christy Trainer Hot

I Bet She’s Hot – cause you haven’t met her yet???

Jack Hottttt – not BGJ – girl named Jackie

Jess Teacher Hot

Katiya Hot

Kelli Primo Sistah Hot

Lynn Fam Hot Realtor

Maria!!!! HOTTTTTT

Marie Asian Hit 4

Michelle Hot Playa (as in Playa del Carmen)

Missy Hot Wolf

Patti – Way Hot – Tattoo On Leg (who according to Kellie has no use for Al)

Hot Dirty Conversation

Sonya Hottie 9 – cause she’s a 9 on the hottie scale

Tish Hot Hot

Tracy Hot

So out of all these names, we decided to call Hot But Stupid because we thought she’d be the most interesting – guess who answered the phone … KINSEY!!

We were supposed to talk to Diddy today – but while we were waiting to get a confirmation, we got a cancellation instead – so we decided to call Diddy on his phone – but instead of leaving a professional voice mail asking him to reschedule, we let Psycho Shanon leave a message – it went something like this “Hi there Diddy – this is Psycho Shanon with the Ryan Seacrest show – you were supposed to be on our show today because allegedly  your flight got delayed – but I don’t believe you – and because you didn’t call, you ruined our entire show and now Ryan hates you – and um, (awkward pause) I’m not Psycho Shanon – um, o … kay … then we played the Psycho Shanon – It’s My Show Theme song – I think it’s safe to say that we’ll never have Diddy on our show now

I hate to say this because normally I try to be nice to listeners (despite what people would have you believe) but so far Rosa’s appearance on the show left much to be desired – and certainly not worthy of a trip to Playa del Carmen – that’s right – you read correctly  – a trip to Playa – but don’t get it twisted – it wasn’t a prize, or even a reward, from KKITM – this was all courtesy of Big Al Mack – though I’m not sure what for – maybe he felt bad for making her mow his lawn and pick up dog poop – or maybe as the Chat Room Mrs_Al_Mack said, “she will have to bartend there ” – whatever it was, it still didn’t elicit an interesting response – I wonder what would’ve happened if he had told her she had just won the lottery – I’m guessing nothing – and lest you think my critique too harsh, Tigertony 07 said, “Rosa, I’m bout to jump out of a window and hope to catch my eyelid on a nail.” – hmmm … still nothing  – if it wasn’t enough that Rosa prepared nothing, had nothing to say and basically said “thanks” after receiving a free trip to Mexico, there was some talk behind the scenes about the WHY Al gave Rosa the trip – was it to get a plug for Al’s Two Gay Guys In A Bucket Bar?  Was it to get some sort of reaction out of Rosa?  Was it to make up for the fact that out of the 2 minute and 12 second interview with Carly Patterson, Al only let Rosa talk for 9 seconds?  I can’t call whose fault the bad interview was – it could’ve been Al’s fault for his non-stop rambling or it could’ve been Rosa’s fault for her non-stop silence (abbeym32 said “she might as well be an avatar” – dude harsh!!  either way, the interview was bad – and that sucked because I was actually interested in Carly Patterson – but oh well … at least the day was almost over

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Carey Hart’s brother died in a motorcycle accident during a practice session

#4 – Hayden Panitierre’s dad was arrested for spousal abuse

#3 – Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussy Cat Dolls was caught making out with Will.I.Am

#2 – Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes both passed away over the weekend

#1 – 10,000 fans showed up to see the Jonas Brothers perform on Good Morning America

THE BREAK WHERE THE SHOW LOST ME aka POOP TALK

When Kidd started talking about why his flight was delayed, I thought this was going somewhere – and as it turns out, it did – down the toilet – literally – apparently the flight was delayed due to a SBA – Significant Bathroom Event – really?  Did I need to know this?  No – but he continued anyway – there was talk about who had been in the bathroom and use of the other bathroom and how long it had been and yeah – I just tuned out – I’m sorry, but ew.  And I mean – so much “ew” that I couldn’t even focus when he got to the real story about the 73 year old woman whose husband was catastrophically injured – I can’t tell you what the exact details were because I was still ooged out by poop talk – but it doesn’t matter because according to the phone calls I got, the woman gave Kidd incorrect info anyway – so there you have it

BOOB TALK

The Chinese have been taking photos with the blonde haired tourists because blonde hair is such a foreign concept in Chinas Kidd said the closest he had seen anything come to that was when he was on a cruise and tourists were taking pictures with topless women – Kellie thought that was stupid because as she so eloquently put it, “A boob is a boob is a boob” – I would tend to agree – that is until a man called in to set me straight – he said “Saying all boobs are alike is like telling a woman that all diamonds are alike” – point taken.

As Rosa’s Fantasy Fan day came to a close, we asked Rosa the best thing about the show and she said Andrew – really??  Andrew??  I think Lucy called it correctly – “Rosa has her fingers crossed behind her back”