Lasik or La-sex??

November 3, 2008 at 8:24 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment


KELLIE RASBERRY “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME” MOMENT

Kellie asking for a thank you for unselfishly backing out of the plastic surgery, thus leaving the opportunity to give it to a listener

KINSEY-ISM IF THE DAY

Kinsey has to go on an immediate diet – because she swallowed toothpaste and is concerned about the calories

OOGEY MOMENT OF THE DAY

It was a tossup between Kidd asking Jay McGraw if he had sex on his anniversary or hearing Jay talk about the surgery performed on women that makes googling better for them or Al talking about wanting to be a better Googler and trying to get women to get the Googling surgery so their men would seem like better Googlers – are you wigged out yet? Cause I am!!

PSYHCO SHANON’S PSYCHO QUOTE OF THE DAY

I criticize out of love

THINGS KELLIE SAID THAT MADE ME LAUGH

“Unlike most of the men on this show, he actually has a woman in his life” – Kellie defending J Si for knowing what a Biore strip is

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie says that Halloween continues on her face today

Big Al is the only member of the show renting a chainsaw today

J Si got a facial massage from Kinsey, a full night’s sleep and this morning, Kellie still called him puffy

Shanon had 3 different credit cards rejected at Walmart for a $21 purchase

THE SHOW THAT HATES HALLOWEEN

Jack says that American’s spend “obnoxious amounts of money” on holidays

J Si won a costume contest dresses as Nick Jonas even though he doesn’t know the words to the song

Big Al didn’t dress up for Halloween even though he went to a party

Kidd dressed up as the cast of Rent – ugh. thanks for that bit of sarcasm

Kellie wore her witch hat


HIZZLE

The head of Def Jam committed suicide

Jessica Simpson’s BFF, Ken Paves, was hit in the face by a camera

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz had a Winnie the Pooh themed baby shower

Britney Spears will appear on Simon Cowell’s British show, “The X Factor”

FAILED BIT ALERT – FAILED BIT ALERT – FAILED BIT ALERT

I know that when you have a kid, you instantly think that your kid is the cutest one on the planet and that every single thing they do is hysterical, sweet, funny, entertaining, etc. – I know – cause I have a kid who is pretty much the cutest kid on the planet -the problem is that some people missed the memo – the one that says no one else will ever think your kid is as cute as you do – and I guess Kidd forgot about the memo – which explains why he would bother to ask listeners to call with their “Adorable Halloween Stories” – 3 stories, 3 obligatory ‘awwws’ followed by a laugh – I know I’m mean and heartless – but Sydney is clapping and high fiving now – and while I think it’s absolutely the coolest thing ever – I know no one REALLY cares but me – and my mom!

SHANON’S ADORABLE HALLOWEEN STORY

For Father’s Day, Shanon’s dad told THE sweetest story I have ever heard and it totally made me cry – it was so sweet that even Kellie wanted to hear it again – so she made Shanon tell the Adorable Halloween story – except she messed it up – so Kidd volunteered to tell it – but then her tried to make it funny and ruined it by throwing in some rude WT references – so I’ll just tell it like I remember it – the sweet touching story that it was meant to be – one year when Shanon was young, things were a little lean around the Murphy household so Shanon was going to be a hobo for Halloween – she dressed up in her hobo clothes and then went outside to roll around in the dirt so she’d look more like a hobo – but when she came inside and saw herself in the mirror, Shanon got scared and started to cry – so her dad came over and washed her face and told her that she didn’t have to be a hobo for Halloween – by then, it was getting late and there was no time to go get a new costume and Shanon told her dad that she didn’t have anything to dress up as – and her dad said, “well then you’ll have to go as what you always are – Daddy’s Little Girl” – awwwwwwww – see, stupid Kidd – trying to ruin it – Rude Rude Rudy Huxtable RUDE!!!

KIDD’S KIDS!!!

The Kidd’s Kids trip is less than 2 weeks away and it’s time to start meeting the families – this year, we’re taking 49 families and 52 Kidd’s kids – which means there are a couple of families that have more than one sick kids – we’re pretty excited about this year’s trip because we raised a lot of money on Kidd’s Kids Day this year – $414,000 to be exact – it costs about $13,000 to take a family of 5 to Disney and with the economy the way it’s been, we were really worried about how we would make out this year – but luckily, people stepped up with their donations and fundraisers and we were able to pull it out – so thank you to everyone who donated this year – thank to you guys, 9 year old Bailey, his two sisters and his mom and dad will be on the plane to go to Disney next week – Bailey has Renal Cell Carcinoma, which is a type of cancer that has no cure – he’s had 3 surgeries and a round of extremely intense radiation – but the likely outcome isn’t positive – and like Keith, Bailey’s dad said – at this point, it’s all about the quality of life – and making sure that whatever time Bailey has left is good – so that’s where Kidd’s Kids comes in – for these families, this is the opportunity to enjoy life just like the rest of the world – it’s a trip that most families could never afford – and we do the entire trip first class – I don’t know about y’all, but I’m looking forward to meeting more of the families and hearing the stories about the kids next week at Disney

KINSEY

Uh oh – J Si better hurry up and bring out that ring because it sounds like J Si is spending more and more timein the doghouse – according to Kinsey, J Si was supposed to be a Sexy Flag with Kinsey for Halloween – she was going to be the Sexy Mexican Flag and he was going to be the Sexy American Flag – but at the last minute, J Si nailed and decided to join his boys instead and go as one of the Jonas Brothers – come on dude, have we taught you nothing?? You’re never going to be able to live this down – you thought we grabbed a hold of the “Sexy Sailor” story – we’re never going to let this one go – it’s like your own version of “How Sorry Is Big Al?” – except you’re the star – and since Kinsey told you to go next year as “SUCK IT”- yeah, that can’t be good!


CHRIS “MCLOVIN'”MINTZ PHONER

McLovin’ called in to promote his new movie, Role Models (which Little Andrew is calling the best movie this fall – yeah, right – like I trust Andrew’s taste in movies – bit I digress) – I’m gonna go ahead and say this movie is NOT kid-friendly – especially since he totally dropped an S-bomb in the middle of our interview – um, you’re on the radio dude – come on!! Anyway, he does an okay English accent – though I do question his judgment since at no point did he notice that Sexy Jack took over for Kidd when Kidd and McLovin’ were having “British Talk” – and he had no plans to be an actor – he was in high school when he auditioned for Super Bad with a couple of friends on a whim – he was so unprepared that he didn’t even have a headshot – he took a picture of himself on his cell phone – see boys and girls, it’s easy to become a big star

THE MOMENT WE WERE LEFT SPEECHLESS

Sometimes, we get calls that are completely off the wall – and because the show is nicer than me, they try to say things in a polite, tactful way- which is probably why when we talked to the listener who got married on Halloween (that would be 3 days ago Halloween) to a guy she met 3 weeks ago – no one told her she was an idiot – I mean, sure, she and her new husband have a connection and he gets along with her child very well – but as Kellie pointed out, “My daughter got along very well with Elmo at her birthday party, but I’m not marrying Elmo!” – see, this is why I’m not on air – because I would not have been nice – I would have said, “how do you know this guy isn’t going to beat you? How do you know he’s not a killer? How do you know he’s not a child molester? How do you know he’s not a huge liar? You don’t!! all you know is what your “know” – and that would be great if it was just you – but you have a kid – did you not hear the story about Jennifer Hudson’s sister? Her nephew is dead!! HELLO. Uh huh – that’s why i just write the blog!

WEEKEND RAP UP aka LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

Leave it to Big Al to fall in love with a stranger on the elevator – Al described his perfect woman to us today – tall, long curly hair, post toasty brown, a light skinned black girl or a dark skinned white girl, exotic looking … perfect right – except that in the past, Al has always described his perfect woman as being short and tight – and all of a sudden she’s totally different – why? Because this new description is exactly what Elevator Girl looked like – and since Al was too chicken to actually speak to her – Big Al is hoping that Elevator Girl will hear him talking about her on the radio and say “dang, that was Big Al I was on the elevator with? And he’s talking about me! I better call in to the show right now so that we can hook up and fall madly in love and be together forever and ever – or until I grow tired of his issues with being unable to commit and dump him for a nice, caring rich man who will buy me a Mercedes” – so Elevator Girl, if you recognize yourself – please call in to tell us what you think about Al – don’t worry, we won’t keep you long – and if you do decide to go out with Big Al, it’ll be a small blip on your radar – because as J Si pointed out, “Al will meet her, go out with her and be over her in 2 weeks”

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Holly and Kendra are moving out of Hugh Hefner’s mansion and Holly is officially dating Holly Madison

#4 – Simon Cowell and Terri Seymour have broken up

#3 – Jessica Biel is jealous of her needs to tone down the jealousy if she wants to keep Justin Timberlake

#2 – Ashley Olsen is said to be marrying Justin Batha next year in the French Riviera

#1 – Britney Spears and Adnon “Bubba” Ghalib have been communicating for months behind her dad’s back

ITUNES TOP 5

5. Hot N Cold – Katy Perry
4. If I Were a Boy – Beyonce
3. Womanizer – Britney Spears
2. Live Your Life – TI
1. You’re Not Sorry – Taylor Swift

KELLIE DIDN’T WANT IT!!

So, you may have noticed that there hasn’t been a whole lot of talk about Kellie’s plastic surgery and The Doctors show – well that all went out the window when Kellie bailed on the deal – much to Kidd’s dismay, Kellie turned down the free surgery that was going to get the show mentioned on a nationally syndicated TV show – why? Why would she turn down free plastic surgery? Well for starters, because she would be in L.A. all alone with no one to take care of her except Kidd, J Si and Big Al – and she would have had to return back home only a week after having the surgery and she would be half a country away from the doctors that did the surgery during her aftercare – yeah, The Doctors offered to put her up in a super nice after care facility – but she still would be having surgery performed by a doctor she knew nothing about when she had thought all along that the surgery would be performed by a good friend – so Kellie graciously declined – which left the door open for someone else – a listener!! So we’re giving a plastic surgery “Get Your Sexy Back” makeover to someone who truly deserves it – so send us your story – or send a story to nominate someone you think is deserving – but tell us why you need this surgery and we’ll select someone to give it to! send your stories to sexyback@kiddnation.com

JAY MCGRAW

If you don’t know, Jay McGraw is the younger, hotter and almost as successful son of Dr. Phil – he’s written 6 relationship type books for teenagers, the latest being ‘Life Strategies for Dealing With Bullies’ – he’s also the executive producer of The Doctors show – Jay is so successful, Kidd is considering replacing Ryan Seacrest as the person Kidd hates the most with Jay! Kellie tried to get the dirt from Jay about Dr. Stork (the former Bachelor who is the host of the The Doctors) who is supposedly dating Carrie Underwood – but he wouldn’t spill the details – even after J Si admitted that he thought he was dating her after seeing her that night at the Ghostbar with Tony Romo – see, even in his delusional thoughts, J Si still thinks he’s great at everything – you’d think the fact that he had to take Carrie’s picture from 25 feet away would be his first clue that he had no chance with her – but no. still living in delusional world

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