Kidd? Impatient? Nooooooo …

December 9, 2008 at 6:00 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment


KELLIE RASBERRY “ME ME ME” MOMENT

Somehow, Kidd’s tease of the Britney song turned into Kellie talking about HER going to see Britney Spears with Haven in Miami, Vegas, Dallas and maybe New Orleans and Boston – he played the “I wanna talk about meeee” song which led Kellie into another “ME ME ME” moment where she talked about this video – feathering …


KIDD’S “NEXT YOU’LL GROW A VESTIGIAL TAIL” MOMENT

“I don’t know how to friend you” – Kellie talking about MySpace

KELLIE RASBERRY’S DIVA MOMENT

“You know what – I’m only requested as a friend, I don’t ever have to request friends” – Kellie’s reasoning for not knowing how to request friends on MySpace

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Big Al overslept this morning because he thought it was Saturday

J Si’s mom wants a MySpace

Shanon’s snoring is so out of control that people are trying to record it

Sexy Jack needs help getting in the Christmas spirit

BEST CALLER OF THE DAY

Ashley called in because she only gets to listen to the show from 6-6:30am – Ashley was WAY perkier than I have ever been at 6am – she actually gets up at 4:30am to be at work on time and is, as Kidd said “Super Cheerleader Perky” – she has been divorced for 5 years and has a 4 year old son that “rocks her face off” – the best part of Ashley’s life right now? her ex-husband has finally gotten a girlfriend and she is THRILLED!!!

HIZZLE

Mariah Carey might be pregnant

PETA is mad at Britney

Diddy is toning down the bling because of the economy

Jessica Alba was airbrushed for the Campari calendar

THE BREAK THAT MADE ME WANT TO PUNCH KIDD IN THE FACE

Yesterday at the meeting, Kellie pointed out how miserable it is to buy Kidd a gift – see, Kidd hates surprises and will go out of his way to ruin the surprise – it’s almost to the point where he finds pleasure, in ruining the gift giving experience – it isn’t enough for him to figure out what it is, he wants to tell you that he knows what it is and then tell you what he thinks about the present – good or bad – like last year when Al bought him a golf tool of some sort – Kidd looked at it and said “thanks Al, I already have this – it sucks!!” – um, okay … I’ll be sure not to buy you anything golf related – but that didn’t deter Big Al – whatever Kidd’s Christmas present is, it’s got to be something good – Al says he’s been working on it for months – he was even going to give it to Kidd for his birthday but it wasn’t’ ready – so what does Kidd do – tell Al he’s looking forward to the present – say “thanks Al, but you really don’t have to go through all that trouble” – no.  Kidd declares that he knows exactly what it is but refuses to say “in case he’s wrong” – then you’re not really sure if he does or doesn’t know – but either way, Kidd has stolen your gift giving joy.  Yeah – Merry Christmas to you too buddy!

HIGHLIGHT

When we left off yesterday, Kellie had just received a 3:30am text message from Dr. Booty asking to talk about the previous night – today Dr. Booty was lying next to his sleeping wife belaboring the fact that he’d allowed Dr. Ivan to seduce Kellie when he was the one who was really in love with her – Dr. Mark Kevin Booty left his wife in bed as he wandered through the house to ponder his life – he found himself in his office looking at a photograph that had to have been taken 40-50 years ago – as he looked at the photo of the man mounted on a horse, we find out that the man in the picture is none other than Dr. Booty 0 and upon closer inspection, there is a woman in the photo who could only be … Kellie

JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW WE’RE NOT GONNA PAY AN ARM AND A LEG FOR THIS (a quote from J Si)

Yesterday during Craigslist Christmas, we read an ad from a man who was offering advertising space on his prosthetic leg – we talked to Barry today and found out that he’s only 23 years old – and not only did he lose his leg, but he lost his arm too – but he’s only selling ad space on his leg because he doesn’t have a prosthetic arm – between all of the amputee jokes (from everyone but Kellie) we determined that Barry’s prosthetic ad space may be a tad too small for our standard KKITM logo – but it’s not a complete lost cause – he still may have a leg to stand on – get it?  leg to stand on – yeah, never mind

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Fantasia Barrino is about to evicted from her house

#4 – Lil Wayne’s daughter celebrated her 10th birthday and got a diamond necklace and a stack of $100 bills

#3 – Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes says Katy Perry saved his life

#2 – Oprah says her weight is back to 200 pounds

#1 – Robert Pattinson is afraid for his life because he thinks fans will take the storyline too far

BRITNEY SONG

If you ask teenage girls if they want to be famous, I bet 99% of them would say yes – they probably don’t even care for what – they just see the glitz and glam of Young Hollywood and would jump into it head first – but I bet if Britney had to do it all over again, she would go a totally different route – did she really want to be famous or did she just want to sing and dance and perform – regardless, she’s in the thick of it now and there is no turning back –  this Christian artist, Bebo Norman, thought the same thing and wrote a song called “Britney” – it’s kind of an apology song to Britney about what our culture does to young girls like Britney – it’s a cool song – check it out …


WHAT’S A GUY LIKE YOU DOING IN A PLACE LIKE THIS?

I’m pretty sure the obvious question is “why did you wait til the last minute to put gas in your car” – Kidd was on the highway in a not so safe part of town and realized he was about to run out of gas – so he exits off the highway and pulls in to the nearest gas station which is also the scariest gas station in the area – Kidd jumps out of the car and tries to pump gas as quickly as possible – of course, a this point – he’s having the internal debate about whether he should just get a couple of dollars and try and head to another gas station or go ahead and fill up and not have to make another stop – of course while he’s having this internal debate with himself, a 1980’s 5.0 Mustang pulls up next to him – the Mustang is rolling on 20s, has dark tinted windows and has 2 guys sitting in it – Kidd is standing between the gas pump and the driver’s side of the car and is on the very last pump – the Mustang is on the other side of Kidd’s car and is basically right next to it – now Kidd is getting nervous and has to make a judgment call – he decides to make a run for it but wants to move slowly as not to attract any attention – so he pulls the pump out of the car and is trying to lay it down on the ground so that the guys can’t tell that Kidd is done pumping gas – in the meantime, the gas station (which was previously like a party going on) has become a ghost town – it’s about 6pm so it’s getting dark and all of a sudden, the guy in the passenger seat gets out of the car and starts to head towards Kidd – the driver rolls down his window and says, “hey yo” – and at that very minute, a police car pulls into the parking lot and the guy gets back in the Mustang and they slowly pull away – the police officer comes over to Kidd and asks him if he’s okay – Kidd tells him everything is fine and then the officer asks him what he’s doing there – Kidd says, “getting gas” and the officer says “NO, what are you doing here?” – um, heading home Mr. Officer!

Now were these guys really going to kill Kidd?  I don’t think so – I mean, they could have been coming to tell him anything  …

5. Excuse me sir but this isn’t a safe part of town – let me escort you out of here

4. Hey – aren’t you Kidd Kraddick?  I need some fashion tips – can you go shopping with me

3. Wow – my friend and I can’t believe it’s you – here’s a check for Kidd’s Kids

2. I heard you were good at tennis back in the day – who’s better a player?  John McEnroe or Boris Becker?

1. How much is your gas sir?  I’d like to pay it forward

Or ..

Yo Kidd, tell Al he gave my sister something and it wasn’t a present!!  Uh oh.

NEW MUSIC TUESDAY

Brandy – Human
Collective Soul – Afterwards
Maroon 5 – Call and Response: The Remix Album
Common – Universal Mind Control
Avant – Avant

The movie Dark Knight comes out today and Kidd wants it – and even though someone might get it for him for Christmas – and even though if he buys it now, he probably won’t watch it for a month – he desperately wants to go buy it … today – why?  Because he’s Kidd Kraddick – and he steals gift giving joy

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