MATADORA DE CHISTE! AY YI YI!!

December 16, 2008 at 5:23 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

KELLIE RASBERRY AKA BITKILLER

“My level of humor is not elevated high enough apparently” – Kellie in response to the show being in Chipmunk Voice

RANDOM GEEK ROOM CONVERSATION OF THE DAY

What are you eating there?  – Sexy Jack

Oatmeal – Me

Oh – I love oatmeal – Sexy Jack

What do you have in there? Beans? – Sexy Jack

They’re raisins – me

Yeah – beans and oatmeal – Ben

Dude, Americans are weird people – Sexy Jack

THE THING THAT MADE ME LAUGH TODAY

Kellie reading the lyrics to the new Souljah Boy song – and hoping she wasn’t cussing because she didn’t know what the words meant

TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN

“Kellie doesn’t like games” – Big Al – not like games “to win a contest” games – more like, “the guys are goofing off and being boys” games

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie is excited about the Biggest Loser Finale

Big Al thinks the girl he’s been hanging out with has a boyfriend

J Si almost went a whole year without his dog pooping in his dog and rolling over in it

Shanon slept 16 hours yesterday and still sounds like she’s on her deathbed

Jack doesn’t understand people who shave their chest hair

HIZZLE

Dennis Quaid was awarded $750,000 for the Heparin overdose of his twins

Madonna will pay Guy Ritchie almost $100 million in their divorce settlement

Nicole Richie is NOT doing an album with Rihanna

Michelle Williams will not accept any awards n behalf of Heath Ledger

HIGHLIGHT

When we left off, Kellie was considering changing doctors the day before her surgery.  Today, all of the questions that have come up in the previous 11 chapters were answered – Dr. Ivan performed a difficult surgery 15 years ago even though he appeared to only be in his 20s – why?  Because he and Dr. Booty are vampires – and they’ve secretly been drinking blood – the two had been friends for the last 120 years and Dr. Ivan had been the best man when Dr. Booty had married Kellie 102 years ago – she was killed by a rival 5 years into their marriage and reincarnated as the same person, only 15 years older – and instead of performing plastic surgery, Dr. Ivan and Dr. Booty were planning to make her one of them

CONSUMER WATCH – YEAHHH!!!  CHRISTMAS EDITION

Olympus FE-20 8MP Digital Camera for $95 at bhphotovideo.com

25% off your entire online order at Victoria Secret – today only!

20% off already reduced 60% off fine jewelry at Dillards

30% off your entire purchase of $150 of more at J Crew

35% off Steve Madden – use the code HAPPYHOLIDAYS30

Calvin Klein and Donald Pliner purses at Amazon.com

Baseball caps with your favorite MLB or NCAA team logo are 70% off. Hats start at $4 dollars and NO TAX and FREE SHIPPING.
You can download Fallout Boy’s new album for 3.97 cents.

Restaurant.com – 80% off using keyword SANTA

THE HILLS!!

For some reason we stopped doing The Hills update – and it makes me sad because I LOVE The Hills – I know I’m not 17 and I know that it’s made up and contrived – but I don’t care – I still love it and I have to watch (except last night because I was watching Drama High on 20/20) – and how sad was I to find out that last night was the episode where Heidi and Spencer made the biggest mistake of their lives and got married – good thing I Tivo’d it!!

BITKILLER!!!

Kellie was talking about the CDs she has in her car and mentioned the kids CD that she has for Emma Kelly – you know the one that sounds like kid’s voices but is really all adults – that prompted Kidd to break out the Chipmunk Voice machine – I don’t  know how he does it – and it’s not something he does often – but the Chipmunk voices is one of the things I love the voice – and as much as I love me some Kellie, the thing that makes me laugh even more than the voices themselves is Kellie’s extreme hatred for the chipmunk voice – total comedy – the boys are telling jokes and Al is talking in G-Hetto voice – it’s total comedy – and then there’s Kellie aka Bitkiller, playing the straight man – only she’s not playing – and in case you think I’m kidding- this is what Kellie looked like during the bit – definitely check this one out on the kPod

kellie-bitkiller1

NEW MUSIC TUESDAY

All-American Rejects – When the World Comes Down
Keyshia Cole – A Different Me
Fall Out Boy – Folie A Deux
Jamie Foxx – Intuition
Soulja Boy – SouljaBoy Tellem

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Michelle Williams says she will not accept an award for Heath Ledger if he wins

#4 – Tim McGraw says he is not going to run for governor of Tennessee – at least right now

#3 – Pete Wentz wants to end his feud with the lead singer of The Killers

#2 – Paris Hilton and Benji madden were seen together at the opening of an L.A. boutique

#1 – Madonna has settled with Guy Ritchie for almost $100 million dollars

AL’S YEAR END WEEKEND RAP UP RECAP

Al said that the biggest things that happened to him this year were his break up with Bartendica, buying his son Payton a car, having to take away the car and buying a bar – but he left out a few things that were highlighter in his Weekend Rap Up Recap – like his obsession with beans (which helped him get through being dumped by Bartendica), Kellie cussing him out by text message, the night his date left him for another guy when he went to the bathroom. Forcing his Fantasy Fan to mow his lawn and the night he almost had to “kick some cracker a**” after the guy referred to Al as the N word” – then Al wanted to know the highlights of Kidd’s year … Chapter 11 of Highlight – BWAAAHHHHH!!!!!

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