Do you have a ladder?

December 17, 2008 at 4:26 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments


AWKWARD ANDREW MOMENT

“I don’t want to be a man” – Andrew’s response to Kidd telling him to man up during the Mack Attack

BIG AL’S POINTLESS STORY OF THE DAY

While we were talking about Kellie’s boobie surgery, Al thought it would be a good idea to have Kidd cue the Jeopardy theme song so that he could ask himself, “So big Al – how many breasts have you seen?”

FUNNIEST CONVERSATION OF THE SHOW

“Is the street his property?” – Kidd

“I think the street IS his property” – Andrew

*** talking about the guy who told Al to get the hell off his property during the Mack Attack

KELLIE RASBERRY “IT’S ALL ABOUT ME” MOMENT

Kellie dominated the entire first break with her emotionally charged rave about “The Biggest Loser” finale, the new Ryan Seacrest show “Momma’s Boy” and surprisingly enough, he return of “Lost”

TYPICAL BIG AL

“Your boobs aren’t for you, they’re for us” – Big Al

WHY YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE YOU KNOW WHEN YOU DON’T KNOW

A robot is programmed to specific tasks.  An android has artificial intelligence and is able to respond to external stimuli.  Rosie from The Jetsons was originally going to be an android until the term was banned by the network.  **Insert song here**

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie spent $29 to mail one package to her grandmother

Big Al says never underestimate how great an apology will make you feel

J Si found out yesterday that Kinsey sold some of his clothes to buy her Christmas party dress

Shanon’s Christmas list has grown to the point that she is completely overwhelmed

HIZZLE

Katy Perry and Travis from Gym Class Heroes are engaged

Fall Out Boy almost got arrested for performing on the streets of New York

Heidi and Spencer were drunk when they got married

Ray J and Whitney Houston are dating even though he’s doing a dating reality show


HIGHLIGHT

When we left off yesterday, we had just found out that Dr. Ivan and Dr. Booty are actually vampires – When we picked up today, Kellie was having a wonderful dream about dancing sausages and the lead singers of bands that quickly morphed into a nightmare filled with trying on Size 2 clothing, being strip searched at the airport because of her married last name and being surrounded by breastfeeding women – but suddenly she found herself being attacked by an unworldly force – someone was yelling at her that he loved her and to run away – it was Dr. Booty!!  when she woke up from her strange dream, she was being transported to the operating room by Dr. Ivan – he was telling her that no one could ever know about their evening together – as Kellie prepared for her surgery, Dr. Booty was also getting prepped and preparing himself to do 3 things – 1. Transform Kellie’s body to the way it was before she was reincarnated 2. Make her “one of them” but not let her know immediately and 3. Eliminate the one obstacle that threatened it all

LOVE LETTERS TO KELLIE

If your ex-girlfriend won’t date you because you still live with your parents, find a new girlfriend that is okay with you being a loser that lives with his parents

If your boyfriend is constantly checking your computer and spying on you, go ahead and stick it out so that you can continue to live a stress filled life and live in fear of being dumped at any time

If you’re still in love with your boyfriend after he hit you and put you in military holds, you need to leave him before you marry him and have kids that he’ll also hit!

If you boyfriend says he won’t forgive you because you told him that you don’t love him anymore in a fit of rage, just ignore it – he would’ve dumped you if he really meant it

If your girlfriend said “give me an engagement ring for Christmas or nothing”, and you can’t afford the ring she wants, then give her nothing!

THAT SMELL IS SO FAMILIAR?  WHAT IS IT?  OH YEAH – FAILURE!!!

We sent Al out on a Mack Attack – the idea was for Al to present himself as an employee of ECHO (the Environmental Conservation of Home Owners) and offer to take down the lights of people who are being un-Eco friendly by using too much electricity – but we didn’t just send him to any neighborhood – we sent him to THE neighborhood – the one with LOTS of colorful Christmas lights and colorful personalities to go along with them – let’s see – there was Al describing one of the houses where he said, “1,2,3,4,5 reindeer in front of the home – not real reindeer” – um, Al – does anyone have real reindeer in front of their house?  Then there was Austin singing Christmas carols WAY too loudly and repeatedly asking the homeowners “do you have a ladder?” – uh, wouldn’t ECHO bring their own ladder?  The one house that had potential for something came out of his house with his 2 sons and told Al to get the hell off his property – according to Andrew, they were really big men – so as you can imagine – that was the end of the bit – Kidd tried to talk Little Andrew into going back, but come on – this is Andrew aka Mr. Stranger Danger – do you honestly think he’s going to risk his life for a bit?  And so, there’s your KKITM Holiday Mack Attack

THE ANDROID DUDE

“I am completely confused” said Kellie – and so was i – apparently this perv dude used an anatomically correct silicone “life doll” as the basis to build an android – apparently he’s dumped $25,000 into this android thing and has maxed out all of his credit cards and borrowed money from his friends in order to build this thing – Kidd wants to have this guy on in January and thinks there may be some sort of advertising opportunity there – now where I think this bit has possibility was the Al-Droid – taking random things that Al has said and turning them into droid speak – I’m thinking there are costume opportunities here – and THAT could be the Mack Attack of the New Year!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Clay Aiken is so in love with his son he wants to have another baby

#4 – K Fed got another girlfriend that he met on his bowling team

#3 – Some guy was arrested for jumping out at Lindsay Lohan after she came out of a club

#2 – Demi Lovato says she would never date a Jonas Brothers because they’re like brothers to her

#1 – Katy Perry and Travis McCoy of Gym Class Heroes are engaged

3 AND A HALF HOURS LATER …

Today is our office Christmas Pot Luck and Secret Santa exchange – of course everyone was supposed to bring something – but you know how that goes … Kidd bailed because he felt too pressured because of his culinary expertise – J Si didn’t bring anything because ehe’s lame (and he had some BS excuse about working until 11pm) – Kellie was going to being her mom’s famous Mac and Cheese but decided against it because it’s best right out of the oven so she brought her mother’s corn soufflé instead – Shanon’s on her death bed, so it was best if she didn’t bring anything – and then there was Al – Al decided he was going to bring fried chicken – so he was going to go to the hood to pick it up – but then he decided it was too far (because obviously he doesn’t actually LIVE in the hood) – so he went to the rocery store to get everything to make fried chicken – but while he was in the store, he decided it would be too much work – so he got in his car to go to the hood – but as he was on his way, he thought that the wait at the Chicken Shop would be too long – so he went back to the store to get the ingredients for the fried chicken – and while he was at the store, he ran into Kellie and her mom who told them there was no way he had time to make 30 pieces of fried chicken – so he went back to his car to head to the Chicken Store – 3 and a half hours later, Al finally got back to his house with enough chicken to feed the office

KELLIE RASBERRY IS PUTTING HER BREASTS IN YOUR HANDS – THATSWHATSHESAID

Kellie is having her breast enhancement on Monday and has to decide what size implants to go with – her biggest issue is that she does not want to enter the room “boob first” – so her natural instinct is to go with a small implant because she likes small boobs – and the idea isn’t to go bigger, just perkier – so why would she ask Kidd and the rest of the boys their opinions?  According to Kidd, every woman who has ever had small implants wishes she had gone bigger and he thinks that Kellie needs larger implants because she’s so tall – Al of course is of the “bigger is better” club – and J Si?  Well, I think he’s trying to keep from getting in trouble with Kinsey because he kept fairly quiet throughout the whole discussion – you can weigh in your vote here and see what everyone else thinks – personally, I think she should go with the small implant – she’s not trying to attract attention – just look better in clothing – she’s Kellie Freaking Rasberry Dammit – not Jenna Jameson!  And that’s boobie talk on Kidd Kraddick In The Morning!!



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2 Comments »

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  1. http://katyperryblog.tumblr.com/

    That’s Katy Perry’s blog…she’s not really engaged, according to it.

  2. Please ask Kidd not to air the B and E Christmas again as it does not make good radio. It seems he does it to hear what a great person he is. I think his intention is good and he should do it but do not broadcast it. It is difficult to hear what people are saying on these type of ‘bits’ either on the phone or on outside broadcasts. Keep it in the studio and get another female member or can Kellie not bear that to happen?


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