I can’t believe you didn’t come and ask me to see my boobies!!!

January 5, 2009 at 7:41 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment


After 2 weeks, we’re back – WOO HOO!!!  I know it was along break, but we needed it – and I love the shows when we come back from a break because there are tons of personal stories and that’s what I love most about the show!   I’m just going to go ahead and give today’s show an A – lots of content, funny stories and more one liners than I could list – yep, definitely an A!!

FUNNIEST JOKE OF THE DAY

Miss Mexico was apparently arrested for drug trafficking – Kellie said “Miss Mexico’s a mule?” – MEE-HAW!!!

FUNNIEST LINE THAT NO ONE HEARD

“Y’all would make terrible blacks” – Big Al

J SI’S “I’M GAY” MOMENT OF THE DAY

J Si is upset because he weighs over 200 pounds for the first time since high school

“SAVE THAT “OF THE DAY

I’m hot too late in life – Kellie

THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID QUOTE OF THE DAY

“He’s not the same Dick” – Kellie – I would explain but it’s much funnier when it stands alone!!

“I’ve been sucking things all morning” – Kellie – again, I’d explain but why bother …

THINGS KIDD COMPLAINED ABOUT TODAY

The temperature of the studio – it’s always freezing in the studio but Kidd was hot because he was wearing the fancy new sweater that Caroline bought him for Christmas – you’d think that he could have just taken the sweater off, but according to Kidd, the shirt he was wearing was only for wearing under a sweater – so what did he do – changed into a t-shirt – geez, high maintenance much?

TMI COMMENT FROM KELLIE

“I’m bound now with tubes of pus” – in response to why Kellie isn’t wearing the Juicy sweat suit that Kidd gave her for Christmas – apparently the pants are low rise and the jacket is short so it shows more than Kellie can show right now – but don’t worry, Kellie will HAVE to wear it at some point – Kidd had it monogrammed so she can’t take it back!

THE THING KELLIE SAID THAT MADE ME LAUGH

Lenka showed up at Al’s bar which prompted Kellie to ask “was she horribly disappointed like everyone else?” – then Al said that Lenka ended up spending the night at his place – which prompted Kellie to ask, “was she horribly disappointed like everyone else?” – BWAAAAHHHHH!!  Ok, so I made up that last part – but it was still funny!

TRUER WORDS HAVE NEVER BEEN SPOKEN

“It’s not shocking and horrible, it’s Al!!” – Kellie’s response to Al hitting on a woman while she’s breast feeding

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

“There’s no reason to get married unless you want a baby or can’t financially support yourself” – Kellie Rasberry

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie has new boobies

Big Al thought about Kellie’s body a LOT over the break

J Si had the worst visit home ever

Shanon is nominating herself the most pathetic person of 2009

Kidd highjacked J Si’s friends over the break while J Si was out of town

HIZZLE

John Travolta’s 16 year old son, Jett, died after suffering a seizure and hitting his head

Katy Perry and Travi from Gym Class Heroes have broken up

Beyonce dissed the Jackson family in an interview and Janet is pissed

Maks and Karina from Dancing with the Stars are engaged

iTUNES TOP 5

5.  Kanye West – Heartless
4.  Katy Perry – Hot N Cold
3.  Taylor Swift – Love Story
2.  Beyonce – Single Ladies
1.  Lady Gaga – Just Dance

KINSEY!!!

Kinsey called in to tell us about her New Year’s Revolutions (or resolutions if you’re anyone but Kinsey) – the first one is to get J Si to work out more – the couple that lived with J Si and Kinsey while Kelly Jo was gone cooked a lot of Mexican food and J Si ate a lot of Mexican food – the end result?  J Si now weighs more than 200 pounds – and Kinsey isn’t too thrilled about that because like she said, “I’m too hot to have a fat boyfriend” – ouch!  Her second revolution, to make sure the Chargers lose so that she can have her TV and her fat boyfriend back

IS IT WRONG TO HIT ON A WOMAN WHILE SHE’S BREAST FEEDING?

I just have one word for you – kPod!!

Big Al was in Mexico partying working at his “Two Gay Guys In A Bucket” bar for basically the entire break – he left the last day of the show (also his birthday) and came back in time for Christmas with the intention of going back right after – except the bar’s “manager” (who is basically a glorified waitress that has been with the bar since they opened and was somehow chosen to manage the place but has NO managerial experience – um, hot maybe??) emailed Big Al with a crying email saying there was some sort of big “management problem” that she needed help with – so Al decided to skip Christmas with his family and head back to Playa to help Miss Manager -now, there are a couple of things that are suspect about this situation – the first being – how do you cry in an email?  This led into all sorts of speculation – did she use text acronyms like ROFCH – Rolling On Floor Crying Hysterically?  Or maybe CUIFP – Curled Up In Fetal Position?  I don’t know – but Big Al swore that she was crying and he could tell in her email – second, what was this huge management problem that couldn’t be solved by phone and why couldn’t it wait 24 hours?  Al never said exactly what the problem was but according to J Si, it went something like this:

Miss Manager:  “Hey Mister Big Al, there’s a cockaroach here”

Big Al: “oh, damn – I’m on the next plane back”

Kidd and Kellie tried to recreate the conversation – but since Kellie’s Spanish vocabulary is limited, it was basically her saying, “Andale Andale, No comprende, Adios, Manana” and then ending with a grito (Google it)

Next random thing that happened to Al – the Mexican SWAT Team showed up at the Two Gay Guys In A Bucket  – it’s the middle of the day and everyone is just hanging out when all of a sudden, 5 trucks pull up – 2 are police, one is federale and the last 2 are big covered camo trucks – a ton of guys wearing masks and carrying machine guns jump out and Al immediately thinks that they’re coming to take the bar back – they never actually came into the bar but apparently there’s a gang in town and the officials were looking for them – of course since they were at the Two Gay Guys In A Bucket  so that’s where the gay jokes began – “Is it a gay gang – do they tag buildings with gay art?” “Hey Al, why don’t you have a rainbow shooting out of your bucket?” (talking about the logo), “Do they do drive by waxings?  Do they kidnap you and give you makeovers?” – HI-larious!!

BIG AL ON THE RUN

Al came up with the brilliant idea of buying a bike so that he can get around Playa while he’s in town – so he grabs a cab and heads to the bike shop – the problem was that Al waited until after he was already en route to negotiate the cab fee – Al thought the cab ride should have cost him 60 pesos (which is about 6 dollars) and the cab driver thought it should have been around 100 – so as Al got out of the cab, he gave the cabbie 60 pesos and was ready to call it a day but the cabbie gave it back and told him it was 100 – so Al tried to give it back to the cabbie but he refused it and gave the money back to Al, I guess expecting Al to give in and give him 100 pesos – too bad the cabbie didn’t realize he was messing with an O.G. like Big Al (that’s Original Gangsta for those of you not in the know) – because Al decided to take his money and run – well not literally run, but he did get out of the cab and start out on foot – but the cab driver wanted his money, so he not only followed Al, but he called the police – and when Al realized that, he tried to make a run for it and headed down a back alley way – but the cab driver was ahead of Al’s plan and circled around and cut him off with the police waiting for him – seriously??  all of this over $4? but I guess by that point, it was about the principle – anyway, Al ended up giving both the cab driver and the police a 20 to make the whole thing go away – and you know what I took away from this whole story – Big Al is just as silly in Mexico as he is at home …

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Jim Carrey set up a $50 million trust fund For Jenny McCarthy just because he loves her

#4 – Masked and armed men broke into Souljah Boy’s home and robbed the place, but no one was hurt

#3 – Pink and Carey Hart spent New Year’s Eve together while Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas avoided each other

#2 – Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson had a huge fight on New Year’s Eve and were reportedly punching each other

#1 – John Travolta’s 16 year old son, Jett, passed away in the Bahamas after hitting his head in the bathtub

MARK BALLAS AND DEREK HOUGH LIVE IN STUDIO

Mark is English – his mom is from London

Derek grew up in Utah and then moved to London

Maks and Karina have known each other for like 12 years so it wasn’t a surprise to Derek and Mark that they got together

Their band is staying at Shanon Elizabeth’s house

They both did hip-hop and jazz dancing before they did ballroom but don’t really club dance

Derek became instantly attracted to Kellie after finding out that she just had a boob job – I think his exact words were “AWESOME!”

Mark and Derek both did musical theater when they were in London

The band used to be called Almost Amy but now they go by The Ballas-Hough Band

They performed “Devastated”

THE GREAT DANCE OFF

Kidd thought that for entertainment’s sake that the guys should show off their dance moves for the professionals – hmmm … let’s just say that it wasn’t Kidd’s best idea – Kidd started off by doing some kind of freak dancing move on Shanon – it was already bad but then while trying to spank her I swear almost hit her on the crotch – next was Al who busted out with some kind of bad Michael Jackson impression – then came J Si who did a variation of the “Walk It Out” dance – yeah, I didn’t think it was J Si’s best outing but it was still better than Kidd and Al – at least in my opinion – Derek deemed Al the best though – you want to judge for yourself?  Check out the KKITM video of the day on kiddlive.com

MOMMY MAKEOVER

It’s been 2 weeks since Kellie’s Mommy Makeover and you better believe that she is well on her way to being the hottest mom in radio!  Since it was no secret that Kellie was having a breast enhancement and tummy tuck, the big question that everyone wanted to know was, “how big are her boobs?” – much to the disappointment of the boys (and I stress the word BOYS) on the show, Kellie decided to go with the smaller implant of 350 ccs – Kellie always maintained that she didn’t want bigger boobies, she just wanted them perkier – and she gave Dr, Harris the option of going up to 400 if he thought that would look better – but ultimately, the decision was made to go smaller – Kellie is very happy with them and the boys will just have to get their porn star boobie fix from actual porn – Kellie is still bound up pretty tight around the waist and so you can’t really tell what her tummy looks like yet, but she said her upper abdomen is as flat as a board – I know there were a lot of questions that we didn’t get to on air, so this is what I found out off air – Kellie didn’t ask a ton of questions (cause she totally trusts her doctor) so she can’t even remember if her implant is over or under the muscle – they did not do any lipo or any sculpturing but he did tighten up her ab muscles – they did move her belly button up like you see on the plastic surgery shows and even though they didn’t alter her belly button at all, Kellie thinks it looks different – she is getting one of the drains removed today and probably the other one next week – Kellie said she’s not sure if she’s just a quick recovery person or what, but she didn’t have any extraordinary pain and said it was relatively painless (so to speak) – Kidd thinks that she will definitely want more plastic surgery in the future but Kellie seems to think she’s pretty much done – especially since SHE HAD HER LIPS DONE!!!  That was the big surprise – apparently Dr. Harris invented this tube lip implant and they’ve been doing it in France for a while now – so as Kellie was getting ready to go under, he asked her if she wanted to do the implant – he told her if she hated it, he would remove it so Kellie said “why not” – to be honest, you really can’t tell – it’s nowhere near like the collagen injections that Jessica Simpson had – it’s basically a silicone tube that just filled out her lips to look like they did a few years ago – they’re still a tad bit swollen but I think she looks the same – maybe a little more rested – and isn’t that how you’re supposed to look after a facial procedure – not drastically different, just well rested – Kellie let me feel the implant (in her lip people!!) and it’s not hard at all – but it does feel like a tube – today Kellie will learn some mouth exercises (THATSWHATSHESAID) and how to massage her breasts (too easy) and then she’ll be on her way to being fully recovered – this whole experience went so well for Kellie, I can’t wait to have mine done – of course I’ll have to wait until a birth another kid or two – but I am definitely about putting everything back where it belongs!  I know Kellie took lots of pictures, so stay tuned – I’m sure they’ll be posted soon!

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