That Kidd Kraddick, he’s so dreamy and short

January 20, 2009 at 4:21 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

BEST LINE OF THE SHOW

“It hurts, i bleed, they laugh” – Shanon commenting on having her eyebrows “done”

KELLIE RASBERRY “ME ME ME” MOMENT

Kellie wants Michelle Obama to “sass it up” because she thinks Michelle is responsible for the plain fashions that are in the stores right now – and it’s affecting Kellie’s shopping experience

KELLIE RASBERRY’S DIVA MOMENT

“I did not receive the same treatment as Kidd Kraddick – and to add insult to injury I wasn’t even allowed on the stage – I was placed in the audience”

“SAVE THAT “OF THE DAY

“I’ve seen her naked more than I’ve seen myself” – Kellie – i could give you an explanation but – oh come on, you know that would totally ruin the “save that”

PSYHCO SHANON’S PSYCHO MOMENT OF THE DAY

Shanon calling Nick Lachey lame after announcing that he’ll be hosting the concert in the Bahamas

THINGS KIDD COMPLAINED ABOUT TODAY

Kellie going on and on (and on and on) about how hot Dr. Travis Stork from The Doctors is

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie didn’t vote for him but she’s excited about Obama’s inauguration

Big Al is going to have to do something tomorrow since yesterday was MLK and today is the Inauguration

J Si has created a new word, Obamance

Shanon is frustrated with the person that rodes his bike on the street and created a traffic backup – on FRIDAY!

HIZZLE

Joaquin Phoenix is done with acting and now he wants to be a rapper

Kimora Lee Simmons is pregnant with Djimon Honsou’s baby

Lindsay Lohan violated the terms of her probation by not changing her address when she moved

Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for slapping a London journalist – last summer!!

KELLIE’S LOS ANGELES BRUSH WITH CELEBRITY

Kellie stood right behind Lindsay Lohan in the security line at LAX – she didn’t get to talk to her because Lindsay kept her head down texting like a mad woman so she could avoid eye contact – she also had a security escort and was wearing a huge hoodie to disguise herself, even though it just attracted more attention to her – when Lindsay took off her hoodie to go through security, you could see that she was wearing her leggings and a wife beater tank – Kellie said she looked very sad and thin

‘ZINE SCENE

2009 Style Resolutions – Love it or Leave It?

Boots with shorts: trashy and unflattering – leave it – (hey, if you have great legs, this is still a “do”)

Skinny jeans into boots: love it – (I support anything that makes me look tall and skinny)

White tights: make you look squatty and nurse-like – leave it – (who is wearing white tights?)

Crocs: leave it (unless you’re under the age of 10)

Oversized shades:  leave it (whateve, the only way to avoid crows feet is large shades)

Make Me A Skinny B!

Your eyebrows may make you look fat – if you have skinny eyebrows and a round face, they’re probably making you look fat – so wear those caterpillars proudly!

5 Times You Shouldn’t Text Him

  1. after your few first dates – being too accessible ruins the thrill of the chase
  2. when you’ve had a few too many – again, showing you’re too available
  3. when you’re angry – because it makes you look insecure
  4. when you’re trying to be funny – sarcasm can be hard to read through text
  5. if you’ve already texted and have yet to get a response – um “he’s just not that into you” anyone?

“EXCUSE ME – WHO LET THE DOGS OUT?” aka THE BAHAMA MAMA “PHRASE OF THE DAY”

Now, I can’t give you the phrase, because that would be cheating – but I can give you pictures of Gertrude, the Bahama Mama (aka Big Al) wearing traditional Caribbean garb and a weave that hasn’t been woven

big-al-bahama-mama

click the picture to see more pics


And I can give you the comments that the Chat Room had about Gertrude

chikki419: he needs a better hat

denasia alyssa:  What has he got on his head???

abbeym32:  he sounds like a leprechaun and looks like the girl from The Cosby Show, Lisa Bonet

Iorange55:  or Shawna Marley

DEAR MR PRESIDENT

The idea behind the Dear Mr. President bit was to have kids write letters to the new President about things they want from this country – what the idea wasn’t, was for parents to dictate letters to their children – how do I know these letters weren’t written by the kids?  How many 8 year olds do you know that talk like this:

Dear Mr. President, I do not know if you can do this but I would like you to try to stop China from putting poison in our food, clothes, and anything else. If you do not know what I mean, remember when they put the drugs in the chocolate coins? Well that’s what I mean. Anyways, thank you, Sincerely, Kaylii Fuller

Dear Mr. President, The attorney general favors the women more so than the man?  What can you do to help men who love their children but find it difficult to make ends meet and protect him from money hungry women who don’t work and collect welfare and make us pay it back. Women now are becoming more irresponsible and are getting away with it. HELP!!!

Dear Mr. President, I would like for the new President to explain to America that he is indeed more Caucasian and more Arabic, than he is African American!  Set the record straight and say he is the first mixed race president, not the first African American prez! Michelle is the first AFRICAN AMERICAN 1st lady! But HE IS NOT THE FIRST AFRICAN AMERICAN PREZ!

And then the real letters – where you could tell the letters came straight from the kids because they asked questions like “what kind of dog are you going to get?” and “what are you going to name it?”  “Do you like to watch tv?”  “are you excited about living in the White House” – now those are questions kids would ask!

KIDD AND KELLIE ON THE DOCTORS

Kidd and Kellie were in LA over the weekend to tape the episode of the Doctors with Sommer – The Doctors provided them with a dressing room (a shared dressing room – bow chicka bow bow) and it looked like everything was going to be great – Dr. Phil had arranged for Kidd to use his personal hair and makeup people, so Kidd decided that he would get Kellie in with Dr. Phil’s people too – except Kidd disappeared and Dr. Phil’s people had to go to a mandatory union lunch –  so that left Kellie unattended and she didn’t have any choice but to follow the production assistant who told her it was time for hair and makeup – Kellie tried to tell her that she was supposed to go with Dr. Phil’s people, but when the PA said, “um, I don’t have you on that list”, Kellie didn’t have a lot of choice – but it really didn’t matter because when Kellie got to hair and makeup, she was told “she’s audience” – ooooh, diss – Kellie spent 3 days searching for the perfect TV outfit and she was relegated to the audience in seconds – plus, the wardrobe woman acted like she wasn’t happy with Kellie’s choice and then finally told her “that’s fine – you can wear that” – wow.  Not nice.  Now Kidd, he had a completely different experience – when he got dressed, he was told “that looks great” – and when he got to the special hair and makeup area, he had 2 people doing his hair and makeup – and during the segment, Kellie was banished sent to the audience – Kidd was on stage – there was a slight mix up where they sent Kidd to sit with Kellie and Sommer’s friend, Randi – but they quickly pulled him back on stage – they did talk to Kellie for a hot second even though they didn’t show any of Kellie’s before pictures (much to Kellie’s relief) – the show will air sometime this week and then we’ll get to see Kidd, Kellie and Dr. Travis Stork in all of his tall and hot, not tiny glory!!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Kimora Lee Simmons is having a baby with Djimon Honsou – ooh – I can’t wait to see that baby – I hope it’s a boy!

#4 – Joaquin Phoenix wants to be a rapper – yeah, him and about a million teenage boys – and they won’t be successful either

#3 – Kelly Clarkson’s new CD cover has been Photoshopped to death and she LOVES it – I ain’t mad at ya’ Kelly -0 I’d love to be Photoshopped too!

#2 – John Mayer plans to ask Jennifer Aniston to marry him on her 40th birthday – so much for a surprise proposal

#1 – Nikki Hilton hates Paris’ new BFF and wouldn’t let them stay with her in Sundance – so Paris had to rent a condo – damn, it must suck to be dissed by your sister

OBAMANCE

In honor of the Inauguration and J Si’s man crush on Barack Obama, this week’s Bean and Cheese production was an ode to Obama – and his overuse of the word “uh”

KKITM INAUGURATION IMPROV

What’s that they say about the best laid plans?  Kidd decided at the last minute to throw out some improv on how the tea between the Obamas and the Bushes would go – so with Kidd as President Bush, Kellie as Laura Bush, Al as Barack Obama and Shanon as Michelle Obama … – just for the record, I would like to say, there is a reason that Kidd only does improv with Kellie and writes a script when everyone else is involved

MOMENT THAT MADE ME PROUD OF BIG AL

After Kidd and Kellie slammed Al for saying that Obama has had more death threats against him than any other president, Al read a letter he wrote about his feelings about Barack Obama – it’s rare that we get to see that side of Al – the serious side – and he did a good job – definitely check it out on the kPod – it’s worth the time to listen!!  And now, I’m headed out for a full day of Inauguration festivity watching – I have no doubt that there will be no shortage of HI-larious commentary from the show tomorrow – so stay tuned!

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