it’s all about the boys

July 10, 2008 at 12:07 am | Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

J Si’s Drunk Birthday

Hey – I’m all about getting your drunk on when it’s your birthday – but when you can’t put together logical sentences, then you might have been celebrating a little too much – but I’m not mad at J Si – I’ve been there – and even though I’m a mom now, there’s a slight possibility that I might be there again – so feel free to laugh at me like I laughed at J Si!! So, how drunk are you when, as a radio personality, you cannot tell the difference between an audio recorder and a cell phone? J Si was being recorded by Shanon’s roommate Keith, and J Si asked who was on the phone – um, J Si – that’s a recorder, not a cell phone!

A couple of choice phrases from drunken J Si “I don’t care if you’re an animal or person” and “I don’t care if you’re a peanut butter jelly sandwich or peanut butter sandwich” – um. Okay.

And when asked to sum up his birthday experience in 3 words … “I’m gonna barf” – yeah, I think that said it all!!

Big Al’s Vacation Wrap Up

Back when Al decided to buy a bar in Playa, he and Redneck Steve went to Playa over Spring Break to get everything started – now, let me just ask you this question – if you were investing roughly $100,000 in a foreign business – don’t you think you would do a little bit of research? For example when you Google “beer bucket playa del Carmen” – wouldn’t you make sure that the 4^th listing wasn’t on Playagayweddings.com – unless of course that’s your target market – not that there’s anything wrong with that!! But then don’t get mad when we refer to your bar as “ Two Gay Guys in a Bucket”

Anyway – Al and Redneck Steve headed to Playa to sign some paperwork and get everything underway since the grand opening was scheduled for Memorial Day – gee Al – at any time did it strike you as strange that your business meeting consisted of you drinking beer for several hours and then signing 20 pages of Spanish documents that you can’t read – or that your Power of Attorney is a man named Manuel who you know nothing about – other than the fact that he’s your Power of Attorney – or that there are pirates walking around Playa – or that you have to use the bathroom in the bar next door because the one in YOUR bar isn’t up to standards?? I’m thinking Al better not burn any gay bridges because he’s gonna have to do gay weddings at the Beer Bucket just to keep from losing his shirt – but of course, if you saw the “logo” above, you would think that the shirt is already gone – ha-ha-ha!!! Oh well – at least he has a back up plan – after all, the Beer Bucket is the #1 bar listed on the South Florida gay calendar …

Kidd’s Orange Juice Injury

I realize that Caroline is 18 now and it’s been a while since there have been any of those newfangled juice boxes at the house – but are they really that hard to figure out? Apparently so – which is why Kidd nearly died by in a horrible orange juice accident – so even though Kidd finally figured out that he needed to remove the straw and stick it into the box – he still managed to screw it up – Kidd decided to “elongate” the straw so that it wouldn’t scratch his nose – but then realized that he had forgotten to shake up the juice – so he took the straw out, covered the hole with his finger and shook up the box, right? Of course not – he was going to put his finger over the straw – but when he did that, the straw went down into the box – no problem – there was still a tiny bit of the straw sticking out and Kidd was just going to pull it out with his teeth – except he couldn’t get a grasp on it and the straw went down into the box – now at this point, I would have just taken this whole ordeal as a sign from God that I needed a Diet Coke instead, but not Kidd – he decided to just drink out of the small hole – and just as he tilted his head back to drink out of the tiniest hole in the world, the straw somehow came back through the hole and lodged its way into the back of Kidd’s throat – yeah, did I mention that Kidd was at a charity fundraising event?? So as Kidd looks around for someone to help him (though how he is still able to breathe, I don’t know) he begins to try to cough the straw out by saying (screeching) “CAW,CAW, CAW” – suddenly, a hot golf cart girl sees Kidd in all of his “CCAW CAW” glory and walks up to him – but not to perform the Heimlich or to ask if he needs some help – instead she says (in her best Kinsey-esque voice), ”um,are you Kidd Kraddick?”

Kidd and Andrew’s Date

Kidd had to take Andrew out on a date because he came last in the game show contest – and originally the plan was to pick up Andrew on a moped, walk around Best Buy and then to have dinner at the food court of the failing mall on the outskirts of the city – instead, Andrew got this …

and then this – i’m betting Andrew didn’t see this coming