The demise of Big Al

July 17, 2008 at 5:11 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

KIDD KRADDICK IMPERSONATION

Kidd praying to the Lord for Not-Derek in Kellie’s voice

FUNNIEST LINE OF THE SHOW

If you come into work with glow sticks, I’m going to hit you – Kellie commenting on the techno playing at Big Al’s potential new apartment building

KIDD KRADDICK PREDICTION

“You’re gonna be wearing gel and you’re bald” – Kidd’s assessment of Al’s life in Ecstasy Villas aka Al’s new hip and trendy apartment

MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT ON THE SHOW

Kidd forcing Kellie to ask Jon aka Secondhand Serenade who discovered him and John aka SHS responding with, “my fans … my manager … Daniel Glass” – yeah, basically everyone BUT Kidd Kraddick

DARK SIDE KELLIE

“When Kidd fires you and you decide to commit suicide, this would be a pretty place to die” – the nicest thing Kellie found to say about Al’s potential apartment

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie had a taste of what it might be like to be Mrs. Al Mack

J Si is kind of sad that Andrew shaved his Columbine beard

Shanon was cussed out in Happy Birthday texts

Al considers Kellie to be his bouncer

Kidd

6:08 THE MOMENT WHERE WE LOST SHANON FOR THE SHOW

Kidd tried to talk about the Good Charlotte give away, but when he went to play the hook from the Good Charlotte song, Shanon accidentally played the theme from the “Good, Bad and Ugly” – well Kidd teased her about it but it was a little early for Shanon -then when she didn’t have the Freddy hook available (because she hadn’t turned on her mind reading powers yet), he started in on her again

6:12 THE MOMENT WHERE SHANON SAID SHE WAS BACK

Shanon said she was going to let it go, but i don’t know …

TIP FOR LISTENERS

If you are on the show, you have a responsibility to the show to give us the reaction we are looking for – if you’re sitting at home listening at your house, feel free to sit at home stone-faced with no reaction – but if you’re on the show, you better bring it!!

ANTICLIMACTIC MOMENT OF THE DAY

Al calls Kellie his “bouncer” because she’s the person he bounces ideas off of – um, okay …

MOST ANNOYING MOMENT OF THE SHOW

Kidd playing the audio of Senator Ted Stevens describing the Internets being a series of tubes … over and over and over again – DEAR GOD – MAKE IT STOP!!!!

HIZZLE

Sarah Jessica Parker had her mole removed

Eva Longoria has cut her hair and gained a little weight for her role on Desperate Housewives

Katherine Heigl will be back on Grey’s Anatomy on next season

Al has decided to leave Suburbia and head for the hip and trendy part of town that is more in line with his partying bachelor lifestyle – so he asked his bouncer, Kellie, to help him check out hip and trendy apartments – does anyone see where this is going??  The first place they checked out was definitely hip and trendy – shiny concrete floors with lots of exposed walls and ceilings – very dark with techno music playing in the lobby and hallways 24/7 – kind of like living in a club – this place is so cool that you have to pay to valet when you’re coming to VISIT – I wonder how many people really like Al enough to pay to come visit him … anyway, the cool apartment is on the 19^th floor and even though the place is hella cool, Kellie couldn’t find anything redeeming about the place

NEGATIVE THINGS KELLIE POINTED OUT

Al (the man who loves bubble baths) doesn’t fit in the bathtub – his knees were up to his chin

It’s on the 19^th floor – and Al has 2 dogs

The closest place to walk Stretch and Queso is 2 blocks away – can you really see Big Al getting up at 3 am to take his dogs out 2 blocks away when it’s 30 degrees outside

The building is full of strippers (though this may not be a negative for Big Al)

AL’S POTENTIAL NEW NEIGHBORS

A 32 year old night club owner who drives a Lamborghini and a smoking hot night dancer who sleeps until 5pm and wakes up offering shots of rum … AT 5 PM!!!!   her name is Becky but her night dancing name is MIAMI

Kellie’s final thought on the building – “It’s a very sex building – if you want to live in a sex building you go right ahead, but don’t invite me to any pool parties, because I’m not coming”

Kellie says it’s career suicide if he moves into this place and predicts that Kidd will fire him and Big Al will commit suicide – I’m gonna agree with Kellie (big surprise) and say that Al would be better off moving into option 2 – surrounded by beautiful parks, people with real 9 to 5 jobs and 10 minutes from Al’s 2^nd home, Primo’s

TODAY IS THE 53^RD ANNIVERSARY OF DISNEYLAND

And somehow, by the magic of radio, we were able to get the manager of 1955 Disneyland on the phone – imagine that!!  So here’s what we learned about 1955 Disneyland

• The 1^st attraction was a big bag of jello that the kids climbed in
• A major attraction was the Brick Hit – one lucky park visitor would get hit in the head with a brick – but it was a surprise
• The Office Supply Show had to be shut down when someone stole a pen
• They had the original Rockin Roller Coaster – there was a secret box that you reached in and pulled out either a rock, a roll or a coaster
• And finally, the Pinnochio nose game – two people put broomsticks on their noses and try to poke each other’s eyes out

Yeah, I’m just gonna go ahead and hold Big Al responsible for this failed bit – and why do I know it was a failure?  Cause the Chat Room said so …

Megg said, “Is this bit almost over? Please somebody turn off old Disney guy’s mic”

Ross said, “Dianthe… end this bit!”

Oh Ross, if only I had that kind of power

In case you missed it yesterday, we let J Si tell his joke again – and in case you missed it yesterday, I’ll post it again today – and of course, the Chat Room had a couple of things to say about J Si

Megg:  J Si is like Peter Pan, the boy who won’t grow up

Ross:  J Si is like the little kid that always has a new joke and wants to share it with the world for 5 days straight.

Kellie is remodeling and if you’ve ever remodeled, you know what a PITA it is – so Kelley had to clear out all of her living room furniture and was going to donate her couches to charity – well the charity couldn’t come pick them up before she went on vacation, so she moved them into the garage until she got back – for some reason, the construction guys moved the couches onto the porch while they were working – and while they were on the porch, 2 guys showed up with a truck and said they were there to pick up the couches – the construction workers didn’t know any better, so they let the guys take them – when Kellie got home and realized there was no receipt for the donation – she called the charity to ask about the receipt, they told her they hadn’t picked up the couches – Kellie was robbed!!!  Except I don’t know if you can truly classify that as being robbed – but Kellie still felt violated and she doesn’t get the tax write off for her couches

GOOD CHARLOTTE GIVEAWAY

Good Charlotte is coming to the House of Blues next Friday and Freddy is opening for them – and we’re giving away an awesome trip for someone to fly into town to see the show and get BSA – Back Stage Access!!!  But you had to win the Paris or Nicole game for first …

PARIS OR NICOLE

She is BFF’s with Kim Kardashian

She was adopted

Michael Jackson is her godfather

She starred in House of Wax

She was engaged to Adam Goldstein

She has a perfume line called “Just Me”

She was arrested for possession of heroin in 2003

ANSWERS

Paris

Nicole

Nicole

Paris

Nicole

Paris

Nicole

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Andy Dick was arrested for alleged drug use and sexual assault of a 17 year old girl

#4 – Maxim has named Sarah Jessica Parker their “unexpected crush” after naming her the”Unsexiest Woman Alive” last year

#3 – Bret Michaels and Ambre Lake have broken up

#2 – Miley Cyrus says she’s saving herself for marriage and wears a purity ring

#1 – Katherine Heigl will be back for the next season of Grey’s Anatomy

OOGEY PEDOPHILE STORY

A 33 year old man set up a date with a 14 year old girl on the internet and she alerted the authorities – they set up a meeting and when he came out to meet herm he was wearing a t-shirt that says “WORLD’S GREATEST DAD” – that is wrong on so many different levels …

NEW MUSIC TUESDAY

Nas – Nas

O.A.R. – All Sides

David Banner – The Greatest Story Ever Told

John Mellencamp – Life, Death, Love and Freedom

Randy Travis – Around the Bend

BEHIND THE MIC

J Si not only had no idea who Anne Geddes is, he also couldn’t prounce her name … Giddys, Gettis – yeah, try again!  He did manage to say Wihicta correctly – because for the last 2 years, he’s been saying “Wichituh” – And for the first time that I can remember – Kellie made an appearance on Behind the Mic – in Kellie’s defense, the phrase “Free Family Festival” can be tough to get out!

Usually when we hear laughter erupt out in the hallway it’s a good thing – but when the laughter erupts and the people that are laughing aren’t listening to the show – well … no one on the show said anything funny which meant they weren’t listening to the show – so Kidd sent Shanon to find out what was so funny – we just knew it was going to be something hilarious but when Shanon came back with “Gailya wanted a piece of cake and we gave her a little piece but she wanted a big piece” Kidd wasn’t impressed – but because I’m the behind the scenes chick, I went to go get the real story – and it actually was funny!  Gailya (who is part of the office staff) was going to be gone when we had Shanon’s birthday cake – so she asked them to save her a big piece of cake – well this is what was given to her when she returned …

Now see, THAT’S funny!