i’m gay and i killed somebody

September 24, 2008 at 5:08 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

AL’S RANDOM COMMENT OF THE DAY

I use a hairbrush to brush my teeth – Big Al

Yep.  Glad I know that

PHONE TOPIC OF THE DAY

Call now if you did not believe that Clay Aiken was gay

***crickets***

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM KKITM

Women don’t like to look at ugly stuff – Kidd

THINGS YOU MIGHT HEAR ON TODAY’S SHOW

Kellie wants to talk to women who were convinced Clay Aiken was straight

Big Al got weird looks because he was driving a Ferrari

J Si has begun training to beat David Blaine’s stunt

Shanon is mad because Kidd only hugged Jack AGAIN

HIZZLE

Clay Aiken admits to being gay

Lindsay Lohan admits to dating Samantha Ronson

David Blaine is cheating on his latest stunt

T.I’s child support is increasing

LOVE LETTERS TO KELLIE

If your new husband wants to keep his crappy stuff instead of your nice new stuff, you need to give him his own “guy” room

If your wife wrecked your ‘67 Corvette and is crying about it to make you look like the bad guy, you’re SOL so suck it up

If you’re a 21 year old mom and you’re dating a guy who’s only been sober for 6 months, you need to slow your roll

BIG AL’S POINTLESS BIT OF THE DAY

You know how when you do something that is really great – and then you try to recreate it and make it better – but the first one was so good, you can’t possibly measure up to it – welcome to Big Al’s “What Do These People Do To Afford These Big A** Houses” – except this time I’m gonna change the name to “What do these people do to afford These Big A**Cars” – I guess what Al failed to see was that you could easily interchange ‘houses’ with the word purses or shoes or diamond ring – anything – and it’s still basically the same bit – so Al runs into a guy driving a Ferrari 430 Spider and asks him what he does for a living – he owns a jewelry store – okay.  Bit over.  Except that the guy was really, super nice and let Al drive the Ferrari – so there was that …

A side story – back when I first started with KKITM, I worked part time at a women’s boutique – we primarily sold high end costume jewelry but we also sold some women’s clothing – anyway, the Ferrari guy’s wife used to come in the store to shop – I always felt stupid when she came in because we had so much jewelry and I knew she wasn’t going to buy any of it – she was super sweet and I loved that although she was blinged out, it was still very tasteful and understated – BIG but understated!!  And that was MY pointless story of the day!

CONSUMER WATCH, YEAAHH

Sometimes Consumer Watch is hysterically funny and other times, the best part is when the show sings the “YEAAHH” part just to aggravate Kidd – today was one of the other times – so, the new Google Phone – blah-blah-blah – Kidd says that the new G1 Google phone is going to give the iPhone a run for its money –  the G1 has a touch screen like the iPhone but it also has a slide out keyboard – so no more texting errors like with the iPhone – and anyone write applications for the G1, so they don’t have to be approved like Apple – and you have to have T-Mobile and it’s 20 cheaper than the iPhone – and there you have it!

SHOWBIZ TOP 5

#5 – Nick Hogan is getting out of jail early for good behavior

#4 – David Blaine says he hasn’t been hanging upside down non-stop

#3 – Sharon Stone has lost custody of her son

#2 – Lindsay Lohan admitted she is dating Samantha Ronson

#1 – Clay Aiken admitted he’s gay

THE BREAK THAT MADE ME WANT TO STAB MYSELF IN THE EYE WITH RUSTY, CRUSTY NAILS

The biggest story of the day is that Clay Aiken is gay – the biggest story of the week is the Travis Barker/DJ AM plane crash – they both made the cover of People – but Clay’s story is the lead with him posing on the cover with his gaybie and the plane crash only landed a small inset – for some reason, this created a HUGE discussion – “we already knew Clay was gay” – “but he admitted it” – “60 year olds don’t know Travis Barker or DJ AM” – “Blink 182 was huge” – “it was on CNN” – “would anyone care if they weren’t celebrities?” – “would anyone care if Clay Aiken wasn’t a celebrity?”

O.M.G.  after this discussion, I no longer cared about either!!

The best thing that came out of this break was the drop of J Si saying “I’m gay and I killed somebody” – I could tell you how we got to the point where J Si would even say that – but does it really matter?  Isn’t the funny part that he said it and that we now have a drop that we can play at any time of J Si saying “I’m gay and I killed somebody” – it almost makes it worth sitting through 19 minutes of “which is the bigger story” talk – almost.

IT’S ALL ABOUT MEEEEEEEEEEEE

Kidd and Kellie were meeting Big Al at Primo’s – Al called both of them to say, “You need to hurry up and get here – cause once i sit down, everybody’s gonna want to sit down with me” – WHAT??  Dude, I know you run Primo’s and all, but are you really that special that you’re gonna get swarmed the minute you sit down?  Come on??  And because Big Al is apparently so freaking special, Kidd wrote him a song – ***to the song “He’s Got the Whole World In His Hands”

The Whole Word wants to sit with Big Al

The Whole Word wants to sit with Big Al

I said the whole world, wants to sit with big al

Everybody in here wants to sit with Big Al

I can’t remember the last time I laughed this hard

DOES THAT MAKE ME CRAZY

I love Does that Make Me Crazy – one, it’s funny to hear the crazy things that other people do and two, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only crazy one on the planet!!  As always, the show starts off by giving their crazy things …

Kellie won’t drink after someone unless she makes out with them on a regular basis

Kidd purposely shuffles his feet on carpet so that he can shock himself on door handles

J Si leaves the Pringles can in the pantry and goes back and forth to eat them one at a time

Big Al messes up the covers so there’s not a constant reminder that he sleeps alone

Sexy Jack can’t sleep with his neck exposed because he thinks someone is going to kill him in his sleep and

Shanon stands on the toilet in her bathroom and does a sexy dance in the mirror and tries to pick herself up to see if she’s hot enough for someone else to ask her out – um, yeah.  that’s definitely crazy!

Then the callers …

Fatima pretends to host a cooking show whenever she’s cooking

Shayna has to have a separate plate for every food

Carrie won’t touch the pictures of diseases in her microbiology book because she’s afraid she’ll catch it

Kristi is afraid of Claymation and Carly is afraid of cows

Oree knocks on the wall before “googling” when he brings a girl home to make sure no one is listening before they get busy and

Wade, well he makes up stories for his cats – he started by narrating while he was cooking and somehow that turned into him telling a story about him being a journalist during a war and that somehow turned into him fighting vampires – did I mention that he named his cats Stupid, Sexy and Claw-dia (because she has 7 claws on one paw) – um, yeah dude – CA-RA-ZAY!!!!